Thursday, January 31, 2013

Suits Power Rankings: Week 2 - Blood in the Water

Well, this preview is late, and for that, I apologize, but what better way to get ready for an episode tonight than getting all caught up on last week's action? Who did the best lawyering last week? Well, that's what I'm here to answer, as I have an expert legal mind when it comes to dramatic lawyer shows that go over very little actual lawyering. I may not have a law degree, but I do have the Law & Order theme on my phone, so, yeah, I'd say I'm more than qualified.

1. Harvey Specter - Harvey shows up on time for once, only to learn he may be losing a top internet client. Harvey is obsessed with not losing a client, because he may lose his client with the coolest name, Trent Devin.  Harvey is all up in Louis's face, because of all the stress throughout the firm. He calls him out for all of his shit, and makes Louis look like a real bitch. It's a classic power move, although it actually backfires on him as Louis is ready to leave the firm. After getting scolded by Jessica, he makes the least amount of effort possible to retain Louis, and Louis takes it as the greatest gesture ever. That's manipulation at its best. At its next best is convincing a client to let him look over the new deal, so he could prove that it was too good to be true. No losing clients for Harvey, although Jessica still won't put his name on the wall.

2. Jessica Pearson - She's all hot and bothered, and not in the good way, because the firm is losing clients. She actually showed some heart when Louis came to her looking for a way out. She reassured Louis and kept him in the firm by being nice, because even though she signed the sheet, she still hoped they could retain Louis. She made Harvey be nice to Louis, because he has to prove himself to get his name next to hers. She made a strong case for being number one this week, but she talked trash about Michael Jordan, and that is unacceptable.

3. Jimmy - He screwed over Pearson Hardman, got fired, and ended up with a better job. Now he's got an office, and his firm is taking people from his old employer. He's got enough money to buy Mike beers. Life is good for Jimmy. Even though he was kind of a scumbag back in the day, Jimmy is likable, and that's a good combination for lawyering. Plus, he now gets to work with Harold, which may be the greatest spinoff show of all time.

4. Harold Jakowski - He put in too much toner in the copier, but that was the least of his worries. His second biggest worry is that he did a kickass job on everything Louis asked him to do, but still got fired since they lost the client. Harold believes he would have been much better off had he known Mike at Harvard, but little does he know that he would have just had easy access to weed had that been the case.  His biggest worry was that he got a shark tattoo that looks like a manatee. Luckily, he got a job at another law firm. Don't ever stop Harolding, Harold.

5.Louis Litt - First he messed with Jessica Pearson, and now he is messing with Harold. This is not good kharma, which may be causing him to lose clients. He set up a meeting with the evil Allison Holt to try and jump ship. Unfortunately, he showed how worthless he was before asking for things, which is not the best negotiation strategy. He first aided Mike and helped him find the problem in the deal that was too good to be true for Trent's company. Although he left his resignation letter on the desk, it was impossible to believe in it. Louis is a dog that is just desperate for a bone, and Harvey gave him that by ripping up his resignation letter. Louis has now forgotten all the mean shit that everyone has done to him (some of it deserved) and is fully on board with Pearson Hardman.

6. Mike Ross - He starts the episode by vacuuming up all of his weed, which seems like a silly thing to do. They established that Harvey smokes weed last season, so there is a baseline for doing that. He's just acting emotional, because he slept with some dude's wife. He could have smoked some of that weed to take away from the pain of getting his ass kicked by Tess's husband.. A real lawyer would have tied him up in a rhetoric battle instead of a physical battle. He did save himself by getting Harold a new job, because Harold is the best.

7. Allison Holt - She's still an icy cold broad, who says she does her own thing, but Harvey and Jessica don't trust her. She gave Louis the hard sell on jumping ship, because he negotiated like a child. That was some good lawyering. Unfortunately, she got hardcore outlawyered by Harvey, and that's bad lawyering.

8. Daniel Hardman - HARDMAN still has his name on the wall, WHAT!

Best Non-Lawyer Performance
Donna Paulsen - She's on the ball on everything. Her acting a little bit scared makes Harvey scared. That's kind of wild that she literally can control Harvey's feelings. She is the puppet master. Make sure to get her coffee, because despite being all-powerful, she loves a good latte.

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