Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Let's Talk About the Film "The Reunion"

So the movie starts off with some spoiled rich kid trying to attain his father's love and attention. His Dad is more concerned with making money than his son, so no luck for the little guy. Still, it seems like there are way too many movies about rich kids not being able to get love from their parents. At least they have money, so the kid can find comfort in hookers and blow.

The second scene is way better as this guy is leaving jail and gets a standing ovation from all of the prisoners. Basically, he has to be the coolest dude in all of Dudelandia.

Money Making Dad gets kidnapped.

Cool Guy is brothers with Preston Meyers from Can't Hardly Wait and John Cena. Their sister is Amy Smart. Their father died, and he has $12 million to give his family, but only if they run a business together for two years.

The bros go to a strip club to get started on their new business. Then the hot stripper they question decides to have a rendezvous with Cool Guy. Nice job, Cool Guy. Unfortunately, that stripper was married to a bad guy who tries to kill Cool Guy. Cena steps in and gives him an Attitude Adjustment with a bullet to the back of the head.

They go to Mexico to find bad guys, but Cool Guy still has game down there, as some half Mexican, half American Indian lady takes a fancy to him. Some bad dude kills that girl's grandfather. This makes her join the team, so they can take down the bad guys together.

Cool Guy is a world class lovemaker, because he is acutely aware of a woman's every need. Preston Meyers is confused by lady orgasms.

John Cena starts dressing like this to remain incognito...
Seriously.

So these guys are trying to find Money Making Dad to try to get the reward, but MMD is not a good guy, so it does leave you rooting against them in that sense. Especially since they have $12 million coming to them as long as they start a business together. Just start a bar. They could alternate the nights they work. Even if they lost a bunch of money, they could just call Jon Taffer to come in and Bar Rescue them.

Cool Guy is also a horse whisperer, because he listens to the lady horse's vagina.

Then it turns out there was no money. Amy Smart lied to her brothers. They were mad for 30 seconds before they decided it was cool, because now they're buddies, and now they are going into business together out of love instead of money.

The End.

Conclusion: This is not a good movie, but it's also not a regrettable movie. That leaves it in the upper end of WWE movies.

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