Thursday, August 7, 2014

Suits Power Rankings: Exposure

Suits is getting to the homestretch. Last week, Mike broke up with Rachel, but more importantly, he got back together with Harvey through Louis. It was basically a hotshot lawyer menage a trois. Unfortunately, Cahill is trying to be the figurative STD in this equation that mucks up all the beautiful love. Can these guys find their penicillin, or will they continue to have flare ups? Let's go to this week's rankings to find out.

1. Sean Cahill - Cahill gets a search warrant from his golf buddy to go after Pearson Specter's documents, but before he can find anything, it gets denied by the real judge. Still, Cahill has always stayed a step ahead of Harvey in that just when they think they have him, he comes up with a new plan to screw them over. Cahill has no fear, so he's not worried of never working as a lawyer again, as long as he can destroy Harvey in the process. It is a risk, but something tells me he will be able to find a little dirt while looking through the Gillis Industries deal.

2. Jessica Pearson - Jessica ain't worried about no bitch-ass search warrant, because she doesn't even know where the files are. She gives Mike no respect for his plan (probably because she had heard the same plan before), and I respect that. Mike is a pain in the ass, and if he had never come to the firm, well, she would probably be working for Edward Darby or Daniel HARDMAN, but she conveniently forgets all of that so she can shit on Mike. I respect her narrow outlook on the past.

3. Charles Forstman - Forstman doesn't give as hit about the IRS, SEC, or any other three letter combination you want to throw at him. It is clear that he is B1G all the way. All he does is terrible things, yet he keeps rising up through the ranks and people are lining up to throw money at him. And that hair, good lord, that hair. It's the hair of a champion. Champion, great hair, and bad person...oh my god, he's Steve Alford.

4. Rachel Zane - Rachel is now crashing on Donna's couch, and that apartment has weird powers. People who sleep there do not do well in having a social life. She makes Mike very uncomfortable until he's so uncomfortable that he just gives in and they move back in together. She risked a restraining order, but got herself a boyfriend. Good win for Rachel.

5. Mike Ross - Mike is not cool enough to pull of a soul patch, but he has his own office now. But with an office comes responsibilities, so now he has to do some real lawyerin'. That's tough to do since poor Mike keeps thinking about Rachel kissing Logan, but in his weird nightmares, he's involved in a triple kiss. His grandma is watching the entire thing, and he wants to stop but can't. Half of the time, Logan turns into Harold. It's so weird, and he can't focus on anything else because of it. I can't say I blame him. The good news is that Mike got credit for an idea that Jessica initially turned down when Harvey brought it up, and he was given credit for being a genius. This newfound genius helped him realize that he isn't going to find anyone hotter than Rachel, so he might as well make up and go home.

6. Katrina Bennett - Putting the moves on Mike with that sexy hug. She seems like the kind of go-getter that would be willing to kill off Rachel to get herself a man. I respect her gumption.

7. Harvey Specter - Harvey believes in "Ladies first," unless he's involved in which case it's "Harvey first." Gotta respect that. He's got his best buddy back, but Cahill keeps coming at him. Since he didn't do anything wrong, he is not too concerned about things, but he still keeps getting owned by Cahill, even when he thinks he's in the clear. It was a pretty lax week for Harvey.

8. Donna Paulsen - She slept with Harvey, and she's still in love with him. She had a date. He's a little bit of a couch potato...literally. It's just a Mr. Potato Head that she laid on her couch. At least he has a smile on his face as she recites Shakespeare.

9. Louis Marlo Litt - Louis is on an emotional rollercoaster all week long with Cahill looking into the Forstman deal. It looks good, then bad, then good, then bad again, and eventually he has to confess to Jessica, as he is not willing to frame Harvey for the crime that he committed. Please bring back Harold, so Louis has somebody to shit on. He needs it.

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