Wednesday, October 14, 2015

A Cardinals Fan, a Cubs Fan, a Red Sox Fan, and a Tigers Fan Walk Into a Bar

...they all walk in at different times, and take seats at the bar.

The Cubs, Red Sox, and Tigers fan start conversing at the bar. The Cubs/Cardinals game is on, and even though the conversation starts on baseball, the fans of their respective teams also converse on Arkansas, Michigan, and Iowa football. Laughs are shared by all, and they are the life of the party.

The Cardinals fan sits quietly on his laptop and stays away from any and all conversation. To call him a party pooper would be an insult to shit.

The three baseball fans marvel at the skills of Jake Arrieta, because even though he didn't have his best outing, he has been on an incredible run in the second half of the season.

The Cardinals fan gets incredibly bitter at the mere mention of Jake Arrieta, because Cubs fans think he's so great. Uh, yeah dude. The reason Cubs fans are like that is because he is pretty great.

The three baseball fans continue to commiserate over sushi and beers.

The Cardinals fan gets a club sandwich (the #1 sandwich for children) and white wine, because of course the white wine pairs perfectly with the Hellman's Mayo on his sandwich.

The three baseball fans all agree that the Cubs are the team to root for in these playoffs.

And worst of all, the Cardinals fan roots for the Cardinals. He was the worst.

To be fair, this all happened for game three. For the final game of the series, I was at a sports bar and sat next to a totally pleasant, female, Cardinals fan. I don't even think she ate any mayonnaise.

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