Thursday, June 27, 2019

The Ultimate NXT Draft: Picks 101-110

And yes, somehow, someway, we are still going. We are now past 100 picks, and the ridiculous thing is that there is still a good amount of talent in the WWE system that is this far down the ladder. I manage to get a guy who has the second most valuable appendage in wrestling next to Joey Ryan, and Jonah gets a guy who has a name that would be way better for Joey Ryan. 

101. Joe selects Rinku Singh
Joe: He has a MILLION DOLLAR ARM. That doesn’t even take into account the value of the rest of his body. The man is already a star, so will they finally bring the Knuckleball Schwartz gimmick out of retirement? In all seriousness, he managed to go from cricket to baseball, and now transition into pro wrestling. He’s as good of a bet as any at this point.

Jonah: Yeah, might as well gamble on him at this point, but he’s another guy who has been around forever and hasn’t made it onto TV which is worrisome. He also didn’t stick around the Twins to help their bullpen so screw this guy.

Joe: I think you got some bad intel. He was signed last year. Considering he had no wrestling training, I wouldn’t worry about that aspect. Heck, Babatunde has been around for three years and hasn’t been on TV, and he was selected 77 picks before this. Plus, may I remind you that the man has a MILLION DOLLAR ARM!?!?!?!?

102. Jonah selects Samir Singh
Jonah: We get to book guys how we want right? So guess who’s back? The Bollywood Boyz. They were a very entertaining tag team before they got stuck hanging out with Jinder Mahal. They are actually good in the ring, which they didn’t get to show when Randy Orton was destroying one or both of them every week. I draft the Bollywood Boyz and get ratings higher than the Attitude Era.

Joe: I would like to delay my comments until I see what you have to say about Sunil.

103. Jonah selects Sunil Singh
Jonah: I mean they’re pretty interchangeable, but more “Indian” wrestlers to get that sweet sweet Indian money from the billion people that live there.

Joe: I do enjoy the Bollywood Boyz and maybe the WWE soured me so much on them by just throwing them out there to be repeatedly murdered by Randy Orton. I would say bigger than the gimmick is WWE actually allowing tag team wrestling to be a thing that we can get behind and enjoy. I mean, good lord, they probably have the best tag team in the history of professional wrestling, and they are just wasting away. And you better believe I’m talking about The IIconics. But speaking of tag team wrestlers from a foreign land...

104. Joe selects Jeff Parker
105. Joe selects Matt Lee
Joe: Not even going to separate these guys as they make up the team 3.0, and I could not tell you which one is which (they are both still special to me). Anyway, they’re fun little Canadian guys who know how to put on good matches. They’re a better version of the Singh Brothers.

Jonah: Oh do they celebrate the Canadian film tradition by pretending to have cameras? Didn’t think so. They’re fine, but I’m much more excited about the Bollywood Boyz. 

106. Jonah selects Jack Gallagher
Jonah: What a gimmick, I love Gentleman Jack Gallagher. He stands out through his look so that’s important especially this late in the draft. He’s also a former UpUpDownDown champion. Besides that, he’s decent in the ring and his Royal Rumble umbrella spot was awesome.

Joe: Jonah, I don’t know how you can hate WWE so much and consume so much WWE. You have time to watch UpUpDownDown along with Raw, Smackdown, NXT UK, NXT, 205 Live, and you also watch Impact? Why do you do that to yourself?

Anyway, I hate Jack Gallagher, because he stole his entire umbrella gimmick from Marty Scurll, who not only did it first but also does it better. So seriously, fuck this guy.

107. Jonah selects Ilja Dragunov
Jonah: Joe drop the link of this guy’s WXW return against WALTER and Bad Bones for the World Title. That is a pop, a sustained pop, this guy was so over it’s amazing. I don’t need to know anything else about him, if he was able to get that over he’s light years ahead of a lot of other people.

Joe: Ah, a guy with funny hair that is way over in Germany? That never goes poorly. The only thing I’ve seen from Dragunov were some gifs of him wrestling Cage, so I guess it’s a solid pick.

Also, Jonah, I’m not going to find a match and put the link in. That link button up top is just as easy for you to click as it is for me. Sorry folks, but if you really want to see Germans go crazy for their favorite person, there are quite a few documentaries covering that exact topic.

108. Joe selects Jeet Rama
Joe: Jeet Rama has decent size and is Indian. I really can’t tell you much more than that.

Jonah: He sure is. I feel like I took this guy in the last draft, so he should probably work on whatever has kept him off of TV for however many years that’s been.

109. Joe selects Mark Coffey
Joe: I united the Coffey brothers. Mark is the younger of the two, so I’m surprised that Jonah didn’t snatch him up since he appears to be the pedophile of this draft, but getting him this late is very good value as he has the size and skills for a potential run in the USA.

Jonah: I respect one man with the last name Coffey, Paul Coffey former Pittsburgh Penguins defenseman. Man Paul Coffey was awesome. Mark Coffey has decent size, but Paul Coffey would jersey pull this guy so fast and drop him on the spot. 

Joe: Paul Coffey was a sissy of a defenseman, more worried about his assist totals than assisting his teammates when push came to shove. Chris Chelios would have punked him out.

110. Jonah selects Mars Wang
Jonah: Joe knows I love two things in a draft, diversity and cool names. With this in mind It should have been obvious that I would end up with Chinese wrestler Mars Wang. He’s 6’3” 240 and looks to be playing an Asian gangsta type. Team him up with Mia Yim and get that money.

Joe: Jonah, this is the best name in the draft, but there is no way you can team him up with Mia Yim. His name literally translates to “dick that’s out of this world,” so there’s your gimmick right there. The only way you pair him with a female is if you call her Cat Mercury, because her, well, you know.

No comments:

Post a Comment