Reviewing the Bulls 2014 Offseason

The Bulls are one of the most interesting teams in the NBA. These past two years they have been good enough to make the playoffs, but not good enough to make it out of the first round. Still, Bulls fans have dreams of them competing for the championship in this upcoming season. These dreams were especially strong as they potentially had a lot of money to sign an impact free agent to add to the roster. Let's look at what went down, and just as important, what didn't go down and try to determine whether this offseason was a success.

First off, let's look at the draft. The Bulls had their own first round pick as well as Charlotte's, so they had a good shot of adding not one but two impact players. Still, Thibodeau has not been one to give rookies a lot of minutes, so a great impact for their rookie year would be tough to expect. On draft night, the Bulls turned two assets into one better asset when they traded the two picks for a slightly higher one in order to select Doug McDermott from Creighton. Many people thought they gave up too much to get McDermott, but if that is the player they really wanted, then it makes sense to do what is necessary to get him. There are only five guys on the floor, so getting one that you really like is a smart move. Also, one very underrated aspect of the Bulls front office is doing a very good job of acquiring talent through the draft. Taj, Joakim, and Jimmy Butler were all picks that didn't get them much acclaim but have worked out very well for the team.

Before the free agency period began, the Bulls were involved in three credible rumors, two of which were good, and one of which was terrifying. The good was a possibility of trading for Kevin Love or signing Carmelo Anthony. The bad was that the Bulls would just keep Carlos Boozer and do nothing. That last one had me waking up in cold sweats. Let's attack them one by one.

This first one is still a possibility, but I don't really think the Bulls have what it takes to get Love at this point. They could trade Taj, Mirotic, one of their wings (Snell, who looked much improved in Summer League, McDermott, or Butler) and a couple first round picks. If I were Minnesota, I'd definitely take the lottery tickets of Wiggins and Bennett, but maybe they really love Mirotic. Still, this is very doubtful, and I'm okay with that.

Signing Carmelo Anthony did not happen and looking back had very little chance of happening. The Bulls simply didn't clear enough cap space to make a competitive offer. I think Carmelo would have happily gone to the Bulls had they been able to keep the roster in place and make the same offer the Knicks made. I think it was a strong possibility that they could have gotten them had they made the same offer the Lakers made as well, but it was not meant to be. We blame athletes like Carmelo for taking the money, but basketball is only going to last the next few years, and even on a good team, it's really hard to win a championship. I can't really blame the guy for staying in New York and hoping that Phil Jackson can luck into some game changing talents through free agency and the draft.

Finally, the last one did not come to fruition. Once the Bulls signed anybody, it was pretty clear that Boozer would no longer be with the team. Unlike most Bulls fans, I do not have animosity towards Boozer, as he was a fine player for the Bulls. He did not live up to his contract; he was not as good as Taj Gibson, but he still played hard. Still, he wore out his welcome, and it was pretty clear that the Bulls could not bring him back. I wish him luck as part of the new Big 3 with Jeremy Lin and Swaggy P.

But let's get back to what the Bulls actually did, from least exciting to most exciting:

Kirk Hinrich is back. Kirk Hinrich will always be back.

Nikola Mirotic is finally coming over to the United States. In my fantasies, he's a better version of Dirk Nowitzki. In reality, he should be a good offensive weapon, but the defense will likely leave something to be desired. He will be an interesting piece, and he can definitely step in right away to stretch defenses and cause matchup problems, especially when he is playing against second units.

The most exciting move was Pau Gasol. I love Pau. You love Pau. We all love Pau. Health is a concern, but when he was healthy, he was pretty damn good still. He nearly averaged a double-double, so having that as a backup big is a pretty nice improvement over Nazr Mohammed. And, like Mirotic, he will playing a lot of minutes against backups, which means he can cause serious issues against bench units. The Bulls will actually have scoring options on the floor for all 48 minutes of the game. Pau turned down offers for more money, so overall, this is just great news for the Bulls.

Finally, the Summer League happened. Doug McDermott was the only rookie to make the All Summer League first team, and you could make the argument that last year's first round pick, Tony Snell, played even better. This solidifies the bench for the Bulls. The starters still project to be Noah, Gibson, Dunleavy, Butler, and Rose with Gasol, Mirotic, McDermott, Snell, and Hinrich coming off the bench. I would definitely like to see Thibodeau be more willing to mix and match the big guys, as Mirotic could use a guy like Noah to protect him on defense, while Gibson can do the heavy work on defense with Gasol in at Center.

So that wraps it up. The Bulls have convinced me, yet again, that they are going to be the dominant force in the East. If Derrick Rose stays healthy (his stats may not have been great during his comeback last year, but a lot of that was just figuring out his touch around the rim as the explosiveness was still there), they are the favorites to win the East, and I don't see why they can't compete with the top teams in the West.

It may not be the Jordan years, but it's still a good time to be a Bulls fan.

What Should The Bulls Do This Offseason?

The Bulls are one of the most fascinating teams going into this offseason. Derrick Rose's health is the biggest question, but all Bulls fans can do about that is hope, pray, and wait to see what happens. Almost as big of a story is whether the Bulls will make a big move to bolster their lineup. There are a lot of options out there, but what is the best option? Let's look at some likely scenarios.

1. Do Nothing

This is the one that scares Bulls fans, and although I don't love it, I'm also not totally against it. Everyone assumes that the Bulls will amnesty Boozer, but the Bulls are notoriously cheap, so throwing away $15 million doesn't seem like it would be at the top of their list of things to do. Still, if Nikola Mirotic finally comes over from Spain, there really isn't a place for the Bulls to play Boozer, as Gibson can play the traditional 4 and Mirotic can be used as a stretch 4. That would mean they have no money, but considering they have two first round picks, they could hopefully find a solid wing and a backup center. That's a team that will probably need some luck, but LeBron's supporting cast is getting older, so are the Spurs, and OKC has Scott Brooks, whose skill with Xs and Os starts and ends with Tic-tac-toe. Still, this plan would drive Bulls fans crazy, and yet wouldn't totally surprise me.

2. Trade for Kevin Love

This seems to be the option that gives Bulls fans wet dreams. Love is definitely the best player that the Bulls could add, but that's pretty easy to say since he is one of the 10 best players in the league. Obviously, he would be a great addition, but I'll admit that it would still be bittersweet. I, like many Bulls fans, love Taj Gibson more and more every year. The reason he is so valuable is that when other teams go small, they can keep Taj at the four, dominate the boards, and still have him hang with a wing on defense. That is a really valuable commodity. Also, I have been dreaming of Mirotic for years, and have already decided that he is a poor man's Dirk, which gives the Bulls all kinds of fun options. But it's still Kevin Love, so even if they traded Gibson, Mirotic, and two first round picks, they would still be putting themselves in a better position to win a championship in the next few years. Also, it would ensure that Boozer would be gone, which Bulls fans seem to need at this point.

3. Get Melo

After thinking about it, I have joined Joakim Noah as saying this is the move I want the most. Carmelo is not perfect, but he is very much needed for the Bulls and fills their biggest need. He can score from the wing, and that is what the Bulls need. He is a force with the ball in his hands, so not all the offense would have to fall on Derrick Rose in crunch time. They'd have to amnesty Boozer and probably get rid of Dunleavy to have enough money to bring over Mirotic, but these are all realistic possibilities. Also, I would expect Carmelo's defense to improve since he will finally be playing for a coach that cares about that side of the ball (I admit this is slightly unfair to Mike Woodson, but he's not on the level of Thibs). In the draft, the Bulls can add depth and be ready to bring the championship back to Chicago.

I am way too optimistic about the Bulls. Even in the first scenario, I could see them competing for a championship. With Love, their odds increase, but I still like Carmelo Anthony the most. A lineup of Noah-Gibson-Melo-Butler-Rose is probably the best starting five in the league. Thibodeau has shown he can turn just about any bench players into solid contributors, so I really don't see how the Bulls would not be the favorite for the title if they can stay healthy. My childhood was filled with six championships, so I will never be too mad at the Bulls. But as a Cubs, Bears, and Bulls fan, it has been 16 years without a professional title (really wish I liked hockey), so I feel like I am due, and the Bulls are my best shot at that. Bring on Melo, and me and Lala can make jokes about Carson Daly. Everybody wins, especially the city of Chicago.

Derrick Rose Is Definitely The Most Exciting Player In The NBA

About six weeks ago, I wrote an article explaining why Derrick Rose was a more exciting player than Blake Griffin. I am happy to say that Derrick Rose left no doubt in anyone's mind after what he did to the Boston Celtics last night to just about lock up the number one seed for the Bulls.

There isn't a whole lot I need to say about the matter, so let's just show a couple of his "Holy Shit" moments from last night's game.

Yep, just a casual crossover move that makes Rondo look like an idiot, and then going up between two big men and putting in a scoop layup. Just ho-hum stuff from the MVP (I don't care about your silly statistics) of the league.  Just look how happy it made Tom Thibodeau.

And then he did this.

Yep, he really did that. This was Joakim Noah's reaction to the play.

And on top of all of this, he decimated Rajon Rondo. Anybody can look at the stat sheet and see that, but to actually watch the game brings it to another level of domination. Rajon Rondo was not bested in basketball last night by a better player, he was annihilated as a person by a superior human being. The look on his face made it look as if his sister, mother, and grandma had just propositioned Derrick Rose for a foursome (Rose would obviously turn them down since they look like aliens). The massacre that Rose did to Rondo made Mortal Kombat look like The Teletubbies.

With all of this, it's scary to think that the Bulls really didn't play up to their full potential. Rose, the shooting guard trifecta, and Deng played great games, but Boozer was awful in the first half before bouncing back in the second half, and Noah was a non-factor for the most part (to be fair, it's clear that his ankle could use a little more time to rest).

So yeah, for Bulls fans, these playoffs are going to be fun.

-Joe

P.S. Don't ask me how I found this, and don't ask me what I think. I honestly can't tell if this show is genius or absolute garbage. Hence, it gets posted on the blog.

It's Always Sunny in the United Center - Part One

The Chicago Bulls have been an awesome team to watch this year.  Even for non-Bulls fans, they may be the most fun team to watch in the entire NBA.  Between Derrick Rose making a few jaw-dropping plays every game, Joakim Noah hustling all over the floor, and Boozer crashing the boards for putbacks, there is a very high entertainment value involved with the Bulls.  Because of this high entertainment value, they will be honored in the greatest way possible, with a multi-part series on this blog.  Since any jerkoff can tell you that the Bulls are awesome, I will blend sports and pop culture when I compare the Chicago Bulls to the characters of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Today, I present part one.

Derrick Rose – Dennis Reynolds – I’ll admit that this was the toughest one to assign, because Rose is so much more awesome than anybody else out there that it’s tough to find the right counterpart on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Still, I focused on the leap that Derrick Rose has made this season.  Dennis began his leap late in the season last year with the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, followed by “implications” made in the boat episode, and had a catch with Chase Utley while advising us to just say yes.  Dennis has made the leap, and so has Derrick Rose as he has gone from “wow, that guy knows how to play basketball” awesome, to “you don’t change the channel when the Bulls are playing” awesome.    Seriously, if you haven’t watched much NBA this season, watch the Bulls as he is guaranteed to make at least two jaw-dropping plays during any game.

 

Joakim Noah – Charlie Kelly – This is a matter of anybody who watches them a lot loves every second that they appear on their television screen.  Much the way that outsiders think It’s Always Sunny is stupid if they only tune in for five minutes, fans of other NBA teams hate Noah.  Both of these types of people are morons.  Sure, both of these guys are out of their god-damned minds, but they do it in such a loveable way.  Plus, these are two guys that are willing to do the dirty work as Noah gets boards and plays tough defense while Charlie smashes rats and looks for treasure in the sewer.

Taj Gibson – Frank Reynolds – When everyone’s healthy, Taj is not a starter, just like Frank did not start off in the show until Season Two.  Although, he’s not one of the main four people, Frank’s impact is immeasurable, and I feel the same way about Taj.  Let’s face it, shooting guard is not a strength for this team, so Taj is definitely our fifth most valuable player.  Although, neither of these two have classic good looks, I smile when I see Taj smile, and I smile when I see Frank crawling out of a leather couch naked.   

And just like Frank helps Charlie with dirty work, Taj does the same thing for Noah.

Carlos Boozer – Mac – These two are both necessities for the success of their team.  They’re both versatile as Boozer can score from inside, but can also nail a jumper, while Mac can be funny with his physical humor and his wit.  Because of Rose’s presence, Boozer never gets top billing, but he’s also crucial nearly every night like Mac is crucial in every episode.  Rarely will you say that Mac totally owned an episode on his own, but it is rare when you won’t say that Mac and Charlie or Mac and Dennis, etc. were awesome in the episode.  If you team him with the right people, he is somebody who can dominate, but he will always have an impact, much like Mac does something important in every episode. 

Luol Deng – The Lawyer – These are two guys where you thought you would hate them, but the more you see them, the more you enjoy their presence.  The Lawyer has great versatility as he knows when to keep his cool, when to explode with anger, and also when to accept a challenge to a duel.  The same is true for Deng, as he has a decent jumper, plays good defense, and is always a solid contributor.  All the lawyer does is screw over the gang, but you still love him.  And let’s face it, everyone has wanted Deng in about 35 different trades over the last three years.  When you actually watch him though, he may not jump off the screen, but he’s essential to the greater good of the team like the lawyer is essential for the greater good of society.

That's all for part one; I'll be back tomorrow with more Bulls talk.

-Joe

P.S.  I know this has been all over the Internet, but I still don't understand how a beer can fill up from the bottom.

MTV and the 2010-11 Chicago Bulls

The Chicago Bulls season tips off tomorrow, and I figured I would give you a completely biased (and possibly horribly uninformed) look at this year's team. Since some people think I go overboard on pop culture and others hate it when I talk about sports, I have decided to tie in every Chicago Bulls player with someone on MTV so everybody can be happy (or everyone will hate it).

Omer Asik - How do you spell baller in Turkish? I bet every Turkish sportswriter knows from covering the crowned jewel of Turkey. Asik is probably the biggest celebrity coming out Turkey since Tarkan, you know the singer who some consider the "Prince of Pop." Wait, you didn't know? Geez people, get some culture and watch MTV Turkey every now and then. Back to Asik, he's going to be a beast off the bench, crashing boards, blocking shots, and probably banging multiple members of the Luvabulls. Expect him to be a candidate for the sixth man award.

Keith Bogans - Last I heard he was are starting shooting guard for opening night. Expect him to be like Puck on defense, because he is going to be causing all sorts of problems for opposing offenses. Being from Kentucky, this guy knows a thing or two about horses. If you're looking to pick a dark horse for an All-Star selection, look no further than this former Wildcat.

Carlos Boozer - His last name is Boozer. His brother went to Iowa State. Hey, we all have relatives we aren't proud of, can't hold that against him. Expect this guy to take full advantage of the night life in Chicago until he goes on a double date with Slutty & J-Cutty and meets the woman of his dreams, Lo from The Hills. Expect him to make the All-Star team.

Ronnie Brewer - Could there be a better team of players than Boozer and Brewer? Gar Forman, you magnificent bastard; this is a match made in Heaven. Brewer never gets tired as he survives strictly off Ron-Ron Juice, and you should see this fool at the club. There's something about Ronnies that dominate the club life.
Expect this guy to be the NBA's best wingman.

Luol Deng - This guy is the Ronnie-Sammi relationship. Everyone wants to get rid of it, but it's still there, hanging around, with occasional entertainment. Expect Deng's season to be the more exciting moments of Ron-Ron triple kissing two grenades instead of the times where Sammi got angry at nothing. Expect an All-Star selection for this handsome Devil (Get it? Because he went to Duke, so he was a Blue Devil. Yeah? Yeah.)

Taj Gibson - Weird name? Gritty? Scary to run into at night? Probably banged The Miz? Check, check, check, and well, hopefully not a check, but yes, Taj Gibson is the Coral of the Chicago Bulls. Expect him to lead the NBA in flagrant fouls, because he doesn't wrestle, he beats bitches up.

James Johnson - Yeah, poor James Johnson is definitely Brandon from this year's challenge. He's really trying his best to stay on the team, but the Bulls are looking for any reason to get rid of him. He was the Bulls first round pick, but they still nearly declined his option for this year. If the NBA institutes a gulag, wait for mad hysteria when James Johnson takes out Brian Cardinal. Otherwise, expect him to be the Mateen Cleaves of the Chicago Bulls.

Kyle Korver - Korver is unfortunately Dunbar. He appears to have all the tools to be great, but they both have fatal flaws that relegate them to role players. Korver can't play defense, and Dunbar is so uncoordinated that he would have a heart attack if he tried chewing gum while tying his shoes. Still, expect Korver to win the NBA 3-Point Shootout.

Joakim Noah - This is the easiest comparison as Noah is so clearly the Snooki of the Chicago Bulls. People who don't watch the show immediately hate Snooki and don't understand her appeal. She's not attractive, she's not smart, she really doesn't have much personality. There's no reason to like Snooki, yet she has captured the hearts of America. The same is true of Noah. Fans of other teams hate Noah and thinks he sucks. But they don't get it. He's not a great scorer, he's not terribly athletic, and he's certainly not attractive, but he is so much better than the sum of his parts. He hustles his ass off, and he has captured the hearts of Chicago Bulls fans. Expect him to be named Defensive Player of the Year.

Derrick Rose - The essential piece of the Chicago Bulls can be summed up in the NBA and MTV terms by three simple letters: M...V...P. Mike, Vinny, and Pauly provided all the entertainment for Season 2 of Jersey Shore, and expect Derrick Rose to do the same for the Chicago Bulls. The parallels are eerie as they were great in season one, but they showed a new swagger in season two. Expect Rose to have that same swagger as he cruises to NBA MVP.

Brian Scalabrine - Fucking worthless like Angelina. Expect him to be released by December.

Kurt Thomas - Thomas is like Derrick from all the challenges. He's gritty as all hell, but he never had the team around him to ever actually pull off the victory. Finally, Derrick won a challenge; expect the same fate for Kurt Thomas this year. Expect him to be NBA's Man of the Year.

C.J. Watson - Since he is backing up MVP, I think the most logical character is Jose from Jersey Shore. Watson also has an affinity for impressing his ladies with the finest of watches that Fossil has to offer, at $59.95, he knows how to treat a lady. Still, if we never see him, that'll mean that our MVP is tearing things up, and that's a good thing. Expect him to team up with Sylvia Fowles of the WNBA's Chicago Sky to win the Two-on-two competition during NBA's All-Star Weekend.

This is either the dumbest or most brilliant article I have ever written.

-Joe

P.S. Jose Canseco just had puppies. Could there be any event more geared towards me in the history of the universe? I doubt it. Take a deep breath before looking at the picture, because it may be an overload of cuteness: