Hoo boy, I’m coming in with a hot take today. That’s why I have waited over a week to post it, but I have to post it because this shit has gotten out of control. We need to slow down on the Kobe love.
Now first off, I get it. Kobe, and eight other people dying in a helicopter crash is no doubt a tragedy, especially since there were children involved. I loved watching Kobe Bryant play basketball, and I think he’ll forever be the closest player to Michael Jordan in skill and competitiveness. Also, Kobe was a guy who did a lot to try to promote the advancement of women’s basketball which I think is great.
But Kobe Bryant was a rapist, and you can’t erase that because it doesn’t fit your happy little narrative. It’s especially offensive when you hear about people talking about the Mamba Mentality, and not making the connection of a man who pushed for more, more, and more. It’s horrifying to think about, and I would hope it’s impossible to ignore, but so many people seem to be doing just that.
I don’t know how the NBA and various teams can look at honoring him, because this shit is not going to age well. Random teams retiring his number, an All-Star game being dedicated to him, he was a great player, but you can’t overlook the other thing forever. It’s not a matter of if but when a giant uprising forms for teams and the league to rescind all of these Kobe dedications, so what is the gain in doing this?
Again, I liked Kobe as a player, and what happened was no doubt a tragedy. But let’s get some perspective here, Kobe did something awful and if you’re going to recognize the good, you have to recognize the very bad that goes with it. You can respect his game, but you don’t have to honor him.
Michael Jordan
And so we've come to the end of the road. Surprise, surprise, Michael Jordan made the top spot of the most important players to the Chicago Bulls dynasty. Here's the problem with Michael Jordan: What can I say about Michael Jordan that hasn't been said at least a thousand times before? Everybody already knows how good Michael Jordan was. Most consider him the greatest ever, so breaking down his stats is a waste of everyone's time. Luckily, I'm smart enough to know that my words in this scenario are overrated, so let's consult YouTube and look at some of his greatest career highlights.
Since Jordan was known for his high flying ways, let's start off by looking at his five best dunks. That seems a little broad, so instead of just going with overall dunks, let's only focus on the five best occasions of Michael Jordan dunking on very good NBA player, Armen Gilliam.
My favorite thing, outside of the fact that somebody made a cut up just to shame Armen Gilliam, is that Michael Jordan not only has five AMAZING dunks on Gilliam, but he did it while Gilliam played for three separate teams. It's like Jordan looked forward to the schedule to see when he could punk out poor Gilliam, and that 100% seems like something Michael Jordan would do.
MJ was known for his insane competitiveness as no matter what was at stake, he simply refused to lose. And this may be the greatest embodiment of that as Chris Paul said that if Michael Jordan missed three of six shots, every kid at the basketball camp would get a free pair of Air Jordans.
Of course, Michael Jordan couldn't miss three shots, or two shots, or even a single of the six shots he took, because he's Michael Jordan, and he has to win. My favorite part of the video is that in the cut up you can hear the kids get more and more depressed as he keeps hitting shots. The man is ruthless. After Jordan made all six shots, Chris Paul gave them a second chance to give out the shoes if he could make all six shots, but he missed his third attempt. MJ's got to keep them profit margins on point.
As you can see, Michael Jordan is an over-competitive assho...uh, jerk. That's what made him great. But he also had a softer side as he could be charming and fun to be around when he wanted to be as shown in the below video where he throws a football 65 yards, but the best part is him interacting with kids.
Some kid says that he heard that Michael Jordan threw three no hitters when he was a kid, and Jordan's response is pretty great, "I did? Where'd you find that out; I think they asked my father that. He kinda lied. That's okay. It's in the book. It's record now." Also, let's ignore the fact that if those kids were Michael Jordan's neighbors, they are probably hedge fund managers now and likely horrific scumbags.
Finally, let's wrap things up with a couple of MJ's endorsements. First, Gatorade, where one of the most memorable jingles of all time was established, as everybody wanted to be "Like Mike."
I cannot help but smile when I watch that commercial.
And one last commercial, where Michael Jordan and Larry Bird compete for $4 worth of fast food.
Word has it that they made all of these shots on the first try, but sorry Larry, there's no way you were getting Michael's Big Mac. When you actually consider it, is it fair to say Michael Jordan is the greatest commercial actor in history? It's tough to think of anybody who can match up with him. But that's just a part of his story. The bigger part of the story is that he is greatest basketball player of all time, and that is why he was a no-brainer for the greatest Chicago Bull of their 1990s dynasty.
Scottie Pippen
Scottie Pippen is my favorite basketball player ever. I loved Scottie Pippen growing up, and watching old videos of him has only strengthened my love for him on the court. Part of the reason that I loved Pippen so much is that his story is incredible. He was nothing at basketball, to the point that he just wanted to be a team manager in college, a team manager for football. He ended up walking on to the basketball team at Central Arkansas, and then grew half a foot and became a dominant player at the NAIA level. He was so impressive that he ended up being the fifth pick of the 1987 NBA Draft by the Seattle SuperSonics, and then immediately traded to the Chicago Bulls for Olden Polynice and a few other picks going both ways.
Pippen's rookie year was nothing to write home about as he was stuck on the bench behind Brad Sellers. Still, he showed enough to take over the starting small forward position the following year. By year three, he was the Robin to Jordan's Batman, which is fitting but also totally undercuts how good of a player Pippen was.
During the 1990s, you could make a strong argument that he was one of the five best players in the NBA. Obviously you had Jordan as the best and probably Hakeem Olajuwon as the second best player, but after that? He is right on the level with guys like David Robinson, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, and Shaquille O'Neal (a guy I'd put ahead of Pippen but a lot of that was due to his work in the 2000s).
It wasn't that Pippen was going to lead the league in any category, as he only had one year where he led the league in steals as the only time he did so. But, on any given night, he could be the best at any one of the five statistical categories. One game it would be 30 points, another it would be 12 rebounds, or maybe it was 10 assists, or five steals, or possibly even three blocks. He was great everywhere, and he could fill in to whatever those Bulls teams needed.
The biggest knock on Pippen is that he was Jordan's number two, but thanks to MJ's baseball sabbatical, we got to see what Pippen was able to do as the top dog, and it was incredible. In the 1994-95 season, Pippen led the team in points, rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks, something that has only been done four other times in NBA history.
And it's not like Pippen didn't have highlights. He had maybe the greatest dunk ever when he not only dunked on Patrick Ewing, but then stood over him like a conqueror taking a new land.
Pippen didn't waste his time dunking over nobodies as he also decided to destroy Kevin McHale.
But his greatest highlight was after his time with the Bulls. In fact it was after his time in teh NBA as he had to make a statement at the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game. Justin Bieber tried throwing a garbage shot from his chest and Scottie Pippen had the easiest block of his entire career.
Pippen punked out The Biebs.
Outside of the six championships he won with the Chicago Bulls, he also managed two gold medals, as he was a part of the 1992 Dream Team as well as the less catchy 1996 US Olympic Basketball team. He was on an All-NBA Team seven times, including three times on the first-team; he was an All-NBA Defensive first teamer on eight separate occasions, and he managed to make it into seven All-Star games, including being the All-Star MVP of 1994.
After the 1998 season, Pippen forced his way out and was traded to the Houston Rockets. After one year with the Rockets, he forced another trade to the Portland Trail Blazers. The team nearly made it to the NBA Finals in 2000 but surrendered a 15-point lead thanks to some tremendous play by the Los Angeles Lakers and some tremendous calls by the NBA referees that were bound and determined to see the Lakers succeed. He spent a couple more years with the Blazers before returning to the Chicago Bulls to mentor the Baby Bulls for one year before retiring in 2004.
But Pippen will always be remembered for his first stint with the Chicago Bulls. Him and Jordan were the only players to be there from start to finish, and their names will always be tied together. Because of the pairing with Jordan, Pippen will probably be eternally underrated, but he also has six rings because of it, so I would say that it all worked out for him. Also, he punked out Justin Bieber, and not even Michael Jordan can outshine him in that regard.
Horace Grant
Horace Grant was selected 10th overall by the Chicago Bulls in the 1987 NBA Draft. As good as a player as Horace Grant was, he was still only the second most valuable acquisition for the Bulls during that draft as it was also the year that they selected Scottie Pippen. This is fitting for Horace Grant as he was a very good player who was constantly overlooked due to the surrounding cast he had during his time in the NBA.
After Grant's rookie year, the Bulls traded Charles Oakley to acquire Bill Cartwright. This gave the Bulls a starting center and opened up the starting power forward position for Grant. Once that happened, he was a model of consistency. You could always count on about 13 points, 9 rebounds, 2.5 assists, a steal, a block and some sweet rec-specs every game. He was the perfect third wheel for those early Bulls teams as he provided efficient scoring as a third option while doing the dirty work of defense and rebounding in the front court.
And this is where I get sad as a writer. There is nothing more to write about Horace Grant's time with the Bulls. He was a super good basketball player, but nothing about him stands out. He was above average in everything for a power forward, but there's not a lot of ways to wax poetically about above averageness. Did he have some exciting games? Yeah, but it's not like he ever took over a series, and even in his highlight video, he's not even doing the most impressive move in half of the plays.
Never second, never fourth, he was always the third best player on those Bulls teams.
And this is driving me crazy, because Horace Grant deserves better. The man is third on this list, and maybe that says it all. He was the third best player on the championship Bulls teams, the third best player on some really strong Orlando Magic teams, and even the third best player on the first Lakers championship team with Kobe and Shaq. He had the talent of the second best player on a contending team, and he ended up as a number three that helped build a dynasty.
With his talent, Horace Grant deserved more, but hopefully this was enough. It may not be the most exciting career, but it's still damn impressive.
Dennis Rodman
Before he was America's greatest ambassador to North Korea, Dennis Rodman was actually a basketball player. He was also an actor and a professional wrestler, so the guy definitely stayed busy, but he still managed to find plenty of time to get in trouble. Between famous relationships with Carmen Electra, Madonna, and, uh, himself...
...not to mention run-ins with the law, alcohol abuse, and multiple books, it was quite the ride. His time management skills must have been impeccable. But for now, let's stick with the basketball side of things before touching on the extracurricular activities.
Rodman was drafted in the second round (27th overall) by the Detroit Pistons where he fit in well with the Bad Boy Pistons. Rodman was always a guy who was willing to do the dirty work, and where many players want more scoring opportunities as their career progresses, Rodman went the opposite direction as he averaged 11 points per game in his second year but would never average double-digit points again in his career. But Rodman was never known as he excelled on defense and rebounding, winning back-to-back Defensive Player of the Year for the 1989-90 and 1990-91 seasons.
He would spend his first seven years with the Pistons, winning two titles, before being traded to the San Antonio Spurs in a deal that got the Pistons Sean Elliott. After two years with the Spurs, he was traded to the Bulls for Will Perdue right before the beginning of the 1995-96 season.
Rodman continued to contribute by doing the dirty work for those Bulls teams. In his first year with the team, he was selected to the NBA All-Defensive First team, along with Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan, while leading the league in rebounding. Of course, this was not without incident, as he was suspended for six games for headbutting a referee.
In the playoffs, he played even better as the competition got tougher. That year, the Eastern Conference Finals may have been more important to the Bulls than even the NBA Finals. The Orlando Magic were the first team to eliminate a Jordan-led Bulls team since 1990. But in 1996, the Bulls went out and annihilated them, helped greatly by Dennis Rodman who both suffocated the Magic on defense and annoyed them with repeated offensive rebounds on offense. Hell, he even managed 11.5 points per game in the sweep of the Magic. He continued his great play in the Finals, highlighted by a 9 point, 19 rebound, 5 assist, 3 steals, and a block in the Championship clinching Game Six against the Seattle SuperSonics.
Rodman would turn 35 during the 1996-97 season, and his age began to show. He still led the league with over 16 rebounds per game, but he only managed to play in 55 games that season, partially due to missing 11 games after kicking a cameraman in the groin. In the playoffs he averaged just 28 minutes per game, down from 34 the year before and only managed 8.4 rebounds per game.
He would bounce back for the 1997-98 season as he managed to play in 80 games that year. Still, it was clear that he was not the same player he once was. In the playoffs, he played great early on, but as the games got more important in the Eastern Conference and NBA Finals, Rodman's impact diminished, although the Bulls were still able to beat the Jazz in six games for their third straight title.
The Bulls would release him after the lockout where Rodman would play a partial season with the Los Angeles Lakers and another one with the Dallas Mavericks, but his antics far outweighed his contributions at that point in his career.
But this was okay as Rodman had plenty of hobbies outside of basketball. He was a professional wrestler, tagging up with Hulk Hogan and earning the nickname, "Rod The Bod," a nickname that is criminally left off of his basketball-reference page.
He would have singles runs against both Macho Man Randy Savage and Curt Hennig, but his greatest accomplishment may have been winning Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling tournament, besting the likes of Frank Stallone, Butterbean, and Screech.
Outside of the ring, Rodman was Commissioner of the Lingerie Football League in 2005, was on the Celebrity Apprentice in both 2009 and 2013, and may now be our best hope of avoiding a nuclear war with North Korea. All of this, and I still consider his greatest accomplishment marrying Carmen Electra, and then claiming that she forced him into the marriage. Now that is a baller move.
Ron Harper
Ron Harper is always a guy who perplexed me. Drafted eighth overall in the 1986 NBA Draft, he was a great player back in his day for both the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Los Angeles Clippers. The numbers don't lie. He had three years of averaging over 20 points per game and four other years of over 18 points per game. On top of that, he added five rebounds, five assists, two steals, and a block through his first eight seasons. Despite all of that production, he was never once named to an All-Star team.
I wanted to touch on those first eight seasons, because he went to the Bulls during his ninth season, and it is baffling what happened when he did. Joining the Bulls before the 1994-95 season, Harper was brought in to be another scoring option to help out Scottie Pippen, especially with Horace Grant leaving in the offseason. The year before he averaged over 20 points per game, so he appeared to be a great fit for a Bulls team that was in desperate need of a shooting guard with Michael Jordan leaving the team after that first threepeat.
But for some reason, it just didn't happen for Ron Harper. He managed to eclipse 20 points just three times throughout the entire season. His reduced role turned into a completely diminished role when Michael Jordan returned as he didn't move to backup shooting guard; he moved to the end of the bench and barely played in the playoffs. For the season, he ended up averaging less points than Will Perdue, averaging a very nice 6.9 points per game.
The following year would start the Bulls second threepeat, and even though Harper was no longer filling up the box score, he was still an incredibly valuable part of those Bulls championship teams. He started alongside Jordan in the backcourt, and he was the guy who was willing to do the dirty work. He freed up Jordan to take on a less demanding defensive assignment in order to fully focus on carrying the offense. He was a guy who was in the right place at the right time on offense to keep the Triangle working. He never had any standout performances, but that was no longer his job, and maybe the thing that stood out the most was how happily he accepted his new role.
Harper would hang around the Bulls for the strike-shortened 19999 season, but then sign with the Los Angeles Lakers to rejoin Phil Jackson and win an additional two championship rings before retiring in 2001. Despite taking a backseat later in his career, Harper reflects fondly on his time as he was finally on a winning team. Considering he has enough rings to fill a whole hand, it didn't work out too bad for him.
Toni Kukoc
Toni Kukoc, aka The Croatian Sensation, aka The Waiter, aka Euro-Magic, aka The Pink Panther, aka Spider of Split, aka Kuki, aka Alien (these are all nicknames listed of his basketball reference page), was drafted in the second round of the 1990 NBA Draft by the Chicago Bulls. He was the obsession of Jerry Krause as Krause was positive that he would change the game. As much as Krause tried to bring him on board, they could not come to contract terms for the 1990-91 season. They also couldn't come to terms for 1991-92.
But in 1992, things did get interesting as the Olympics were held in Barcelona, Spain that year. The United States would bring professional players since they were unable to win the gold with amateurs in 1988. Hence, The Dream Team was born. Kukoc would represent Croatia, along with Drazen Petrovic and Dino Radja. But future teammates, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, were a tad tired of hearing about how great Kukoc was, so they made it their mission to destroy him. In pool play, Team USA would play Croatia, and they would hold Kukoc to just four points while he committed seven turnovers in the game. Jordan and Pippen would combine for 13 steals in the game. Seriously, watch this video that highlights Kukoc. The whole thing is good, but they get to the Dream Team Stuff around 3:55 of the video, and it is amazing.
They set out to destroy him, and destroy him they did. Kukoc would fare better in the second game with 16 points and nine assists, but Team USA still won by a comfortable 32-point margin.
Kukoc would finally join the team after the Bulls had won their third straight title in 1993. He would be counted on to replace a chunk of the production left behind when Michael Jordan retired. That rookie year, he came off the bench in all but eight games, but he still made an impact. Although he didn't light it up scoring, he was an offensive guru as he could grab rebounds or dish out assists. At 6'10", he was a rare find in the NBA back in those days. Of course, what will most be remembered from that season was his game winning shot of Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the New York Knicks.
Although it was a huge shot, what will always be remembered more is that Scottie Pippen sat out the final play since he was not going to be taking that final shot.
During the championship years, the Bulls were at their best when he was coming off the bench as he was the ideal sixth man, winning that award in 1995-96. Considering the time that he was forced to play with bench units, there was no better opportunity for him to display his wide array of skills. He not only provided scoring but helped the frontcourt with rebounding and especially the backcourt with his ball handling and assists. With that, you're not going to find many box scores that jump out at you, but you are going to see a whole lot of 15 point, 7 rebound, five assist games sprinkled in throughout the playoffs. With Jordan and Pippen on the team, it was never going to be his job to take over. He was the ultimate puzzle piece, filling in wherever needed at excelling in any role.
After the championship years, Kukoc stayed on the Bulls for a short time after the rebuild before being traded to the Philadelphia 76ers. He would also go on to play for the Atlanta Hawks and the Milwaukee Bucks before retiring after the 2006 season.
Toni Kukoc is one of the most fascinating players in NBA history. He was a unicorn before anyone knew unicorns existed. He did it all on a basketball court and helped change the game in that tall guys must play on the inside. His versatility ensured that he could have played in any era, and it's pretty clear that guys like Giannis and Ben Simmons are the evolution of Toni Kukoc. The numbers Kukoc put up in a box score could never add up to the impact he had on the game of basketball.
Bill Cartwright
Bill Cartwright is a guy who is incredibly underrated in most people's minds. Since he was on the most famous team of the 1990s, most people associate Cartwright with his Bulls tenure. And because of the parallels between the first threepeat and the second threepeat, many consider him an earlier version of Luc Longley, but that shows a blatant disregard for how effective Cartwright was as a player, even in the late stages of his career with the Chicago Bulls.
Before arriving to the Bulls, he spent his first nine years with the New York Knicks after becoming the third pick in the 1979 NBA Draft. In his rookie year, he put up an incredible 21.7 points, 8.9 rebounds, 2.0 assists, and 1.2 blocks per game. Usually that would be more than enough to win Rookie of the Year, but unfortunately for Cartwright, he was competing against two relatively well-known basketball players in Magic Johnson and the winner of the award, Larry Bird.
Even though his numbers fell off slightly from his rookie year, he was still a very good center for the Knicks. Still, the Knicks went ahead and drafted Patrick Ewing, and Cartwright eventually became a backup center for the team. This gave the Bulls an opportunity to acquire the big man.
During the offseason before the 1988-89 season, the Knicks traded Cartwright for Charles Oakley as well as swapping first and third round picks. The third rounders did not amount to anything, but the Bulls would solidify their big men by drafting Will Perdue, while the Knicks took Rod Strickland. It's a fascinating deal as the Knicks won the trade in the matter of acquiring more talent, but the Bulls got the necessary pieces to help them win three championships so it's tough to complain about the result.
Although Cartwright's numbers would drop every year he was with the team, he provided the Bulls with what they needed in their starting lineup. Cartwright was tough, and he knew how to deter people from driving in the lane. What's the greatest deterrent to someone scoring inside? Elbows, because outside of Macho Man Randy Savage, Cartwright had the most lethal weapons in the game. They were legendary...actually, maybe notorious is a better word to use. He took out Hakeem Olajuwon. and knocked out Charles Barkley. His elbows were so lethal that other teams tried to petition the NBA to force Cartwright to wear elbow pads. And although this is not elbow related, he did once try to murder Isiah Thomas.
Oh yeah, and he also threatened to end Michael Jordan's career if he ever told teammates not to pass him the ball. I don't care if his stats were declining; Bill Cartwright OWNED.
For all three championship teams, Cartwright started every game that he was healthy enough to play. And even at his advanced age with severe foot issues that saw him miss nearly two full years earlier in his career, he still managed to play in an average of 70 games during the threepeat. He was definitely a guy whose greatest impact at that stage was far more than any box score would show.
Cartwright would last one more year with the Bulls before signing with the Seattle SuperSonics for one final year before retiring in 1995. He would join Phil Jackson's staff for the 1996-97 season and would get two more championship rings as an assistant coach with the Bulls. He would coach some really crappy Chicago Bulls teams a few years later and is currently the coach of the Mexican National Team. No word on whether he drops a Macho Man elbow if his players get out of line. One thing is for sure, if you abuse your children, them elbows are coming for you.
John Paxson
John Macbeth Paxson was drafted in...woah, woah, woah, wait a minute. John Paxson's middle name is MacBeth. That is shockingly pretentious but explains so much about his management style. Anyway, we are not here to talk about middle names or incompetency in the current front office. I am only here to talk about John MacBeth Paxson as a player.
After an impressive career at Notre Dame, Paxson was selected 19th overall by the San Antonio Spurs in the 1983 NBA Draft. After a couple years with the Spurs, the Bulls signed Paxson as a free agent to become their backup point guard. He would spend his entire career bouncing around between starting and backing up at the point guard position, but he provided more good than bad as he stuck around the Bulls for nine seasons.
Him battling for playing time was especially relevant during the Bulls first threepeat. During the first three rounds of the playoffs, his and backup point guard, BJ Armstrong, were fairly close in minutes. But Paxson came through when it mattered most as he got red hot during the NBA Finals against the Lakers where he put up 6, 16, 10, 15, and 20 points respectively while shooting over 65% from the field during the series. That is how you come through in the clutch.
In 1991-92, Paxson held on to his starting role, although Armstrong's increased minutes meant a slight decrease in minutes for Paxson. But when it came to the playoffs, Phil Jackson felt more comfortable with the veteran and Paxson continued to play a majority of minutes when things mattered most.
In 1992-93, Paxson could no longer hold off the younger and more explosive Armstrong. He was now coming off the bench and his minutes had been greatly reduced. He could still get hot from the field on occasion but it appeared that he would not be making a big impact in the 1993 playoffs. But things don't always work out the way that you would expect, and Paxson did have a chance to make his impact in Game 6 of the NBA Finals against the Phoenix Suns. The Bulls called a timeout, trailing by two with 14.4 seconds left on the clock. Although Michael Jordan had scored all of the Bulls' points in the fourth quarter up to this point, he would not take the final shot. For that, it would be an unlikely hero.
There are three clutch shots that truly stand out during the Bulls run in the 1990s, and it's really tough to top this one. Since Jordan made the final one over Byron Russell in 1998, it's kind of tough to put this ahead of that, but a three-pointer when your team is down by two and time is running out. That is HUGE.
Paxson would play one more year before retiring after the 1993-94 season, although he would get one more ring as an assistant coach on the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls. He would follow that by going onto broadcasting before taking a front office job with the Bulls. That front office job may be what he is known most by with many Bulls fans. Early on, he worked his way to the top of the organization. Although there were many good drafts in there, the front office has been plagued by poor decisions that has caused the fans to call for his head.
There is an old Shakespeare story about the the damaging effects of ambition on those who seek power for its own sake. I guess his middle name does make sense.
