Let's Talk About the 1992 Halloween Havoc Promo

Before we get started, please watch the following video. Note: You may think it's terrible, but trust me, it gets worse, so you need to keep watching (but the final two minutes are filler so skip that), as it is rare for anything to be this fascinatingly bad...badass that is.

That's a lot to take in, so let's try our best to break it down.

Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura
Not only two legendary announcers, but also them talking about Jesse Ventura's first political victory that would eventually lead him to become the Governor of Minnesota and get his own conspiracy show.

The Doorman
A doorman opens the eye slot and says, "Spin the wheel," so Madusa, who is on the other side of th door just has to figure out a rhyme for that and she correctly follows with, "Make the deal." I would fire this doorman.

The Crowd
The crowd is a group of degenerates that react to absolutely everything. They are basically like the live-studio audience at Saved by the Bell tapings, only these people are caught on camera and cosplaying a biker gang.

The Midget
He just randomly screams pointless stuff. He's the worst, but still an essential, part of this video.

The Interaction
Jake The Snake Roberts definitely outacts poor Sting by quite a bit.

But the big thing is how they interact with each other. It is clear that Sting and Jake Roberts were not in the same room. They had an idea of what the other one was going to say, but clearly not exactly as their reactions to the other one make ZERO sense. It's amazing. Jake literally tells sting he is going to make him wish he was never born, and Sting just replies with a, "You talk too much, get to the point." The point is that he is going to beat you so badly that you will wish you were never born, were you not paying attention?

Eye Explosion

This video epitomizes early 90s WCW. It's amazing.

Lee Marshall: The Nicest Guy In Pro Wrestling

During my childhood, I met a few wrestlers over the years, and every time, I got punked out. When I met Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly, DDP withheld my autograph to ask me, "What's the magic word?" Since I had just waited in a line for two hours, I mumbled a bunch of words until he notified me that the magic words were thank you. Thanks for the pop quiz, asshole.

Before that, it was Jake "The Snake" Roberts. About three people in front of me, he asked a kid his name so he could make out an autograph to him. When I got up there, I proudly stated my name, "Joey" (I had not matured into the man that has become Hott Joe at that point), and I will paraphrase here, but he responded with something like, "Well, Joey, we're doing a little something called speed signing, so if you want your name on it, you can sign it yourself." Needless to say, I sometimes wish that DDP Yoga had the reverse effect on people's lives.

This brings me to Lee Marshall. Lee Marshall is an obscure reference, even for avid wrestling fans. He was most famous for being the king of Nitro parties, which were a thing back in the 90s. But one year, the Great American Bash came near my hometown, and I got seats near the announcing table. Lee Marshall was walking by, and I yelled, "Lee Marshall, you're the man" (I know, you're impressed with how creative I was to come up with that one on the fly), and instead of being a dick like DDP and Jake, he responded, "No, no, no, you're the man." That's all I needed to become a lifelong fan of Lee Marshall. To honor him, I will hold a Raw party every Monday that will include, me, my dog, and occasional drop-ins from my wife. It's going to be off the chain.

But seriously, Lee Marshall, you're the man.