He was a sweet boy, but I need some mayonnaise. I'm a hot grandma.
Where do you go from here? "He was a sweet boy," seems like a friendly way to start any sentence. I have been called a sweet boy before, and it was endearing.
But then things take an ominous turn. "But I need some mayonnaise." I shutter every time I read that sentence. It could mean a variety of things, like maybe the boy liked sweets, hence he was a sweet boy, while her snacks included the use of mayonnaise, but we all know that's not it. We all know that this is sexual, and still mayonnaise could mean a variety of things. you could go with the obvious and say that mayonnaise is a euphemism for ejaculate, but I'm not totally on board with that. Instead, I think she's saying that this sweet boy was all stroke but no poke.
What really brings things together is that final sentence, "I'm a hot grandma." This is where I wish I had more notes. Was she a hot grandma? I don't know. But I do know that hot grandmas need some mayonnaise, and sweet boys just can't give it to them.
Unfortunately, that's all I know. You've heard of people turning coal into diamonds. Well, I did the opposite, I had a true diamond of a quote, but I let it sit, and it turned into a lump of coal. My only goal is that I salvaged this enough to be a cubic zirconia; it may not be a diamond, but it can fool the untrained eye.