Thursday, April 21, 2016

Macho Man Randy Savage Is The Greatest: Volume 3 - The SpokesMan

Macho Man is great. Maybe the greatest. In fact, if you don't have Macho Man as one of the five greatest of all time, all of your opinions about pro wrestling are invalid. He was a master in the ring, he was a master with promos, and he was even a master commentator and spokesperson. In fact, although it was not critically acclaimed, I can still listen to and enjoy his rap album. But people know the highlights of his career, instead, I want to celebrate the less famous moments and bring light to these accomplishments, as they are just as impressive as the highlights.

Today, I want to focus on Macho Man as a Macho spokesMan, who would make you Randy for any Savage product that he decided to endorse. Now, everyone is aware of his work with Slim Jim where his intensity made you want to SNAP INTO THAT BEEFY JUICY TASTE. But Macho also had a softer side.

In a world where our heroes constantly disappoint, Macho Man was there to assure us that everything would turn out just fine. Now, I must warn you: Before watching this commercial, you may want to get some tissues, because it's about to get real dusty up in here.

The emotion in this commercial is raw. A child walks alone on a baseball diamond, and...wait, hold up a second. Let's take a look at that jersey.
Yep, that is a "Sport 93" jersey right there. They never fully show the front of the jersey, but I'm nearly positive it just says "Baseball." That has to be the most generic jersey in the history of commercials. So Little Billy Sport, playing for the "Baseball" team is coming out to throw the rawhide around.

Unfortunately, little Billy is met with this sign:
You see, this commercial was made in 1994, during Major League Baseball's strike, and if the pros are on strike, that means little league must follow its lead as part of the MLBPA union and cancel their games as well. Back to the jersey for a second, why is it number 93? The only thing that I can come up with is somebody else used this generic jersey a year earlier, and the WWE decided they could save a few bucks if they didn't get an updated one. I admire that level of frugality.

There is only one man that can save this dire situation, and I think we all know who that is.
OOOOOH YEAH! I mean, just look at that long, majesctic mane that he is sporting. This is a man of pure inspiration.

Macho Man throws some balls for Billy Sport to hit, because baseball should never die. Finally the child turns to Macho Man.

Billy: Do you guys ever go on strike? 
Macho Man: No way, never!

And that, my friends is the beauty of pro wrestling. That was the beauty of the Macho Man.

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