Tuesday, August 9, 2016

What's Mold Is New Again

Right now, my wife and I are close to purchasing our first home. It's a nice home. We're excited about it. This is especially true, because we are living in a shithole currently. A shithole could be fine, as long as it was safe, but our landlord has seemingly gone out of her way to not help in any of those matters.

A week and a half ago, our air conditioner stopped working. This being the summer in Florida, it did not make the house very pleasant to live in. Even my sweet puppy was irritable. Our landlord, who is a crochety 70-something dipshit will only book one air conditioning company to come fix the issue. The first night we persevered, but we weren't going to do that again. So after numerous calls to her, she finally relented and found someone who could come and fix our A/C.

Since she took two days to get someone to fix it, it obviously caused some other issues. All of a sudden, our indoor unit was leaking so much that it was drenching the carpet for about a five-foot radius. We were used to this, as this was the second time this has happened. It took her two weeks to clean up the mess last time, but this time, that was not going to be acceptable, especially since we found out the problem was that mold was causing a backup in the system, and that is why it was flooding.

Of course, this took a few days before she actually sent someone to check on it, and that created the further issue of mold. She said she'd by one of the next couple nights to use oregano spray on it. Even though that's a home remedy and not a professional one, I would have been fine had she actually followed through on that promise. Instead, she did not show up either night, and our house smelled awful.

By Saturday morning, I started getting headaches just being in the house, and I am someone who very rarely has any sort of sickness, so needless to say, I was none too pleased. My wife and I agreed that we needed a professional to come in, so my wife called and our landlord refused to bring in anyone, and that she would just take care of it later that day.

But I was beyond that point. I called back, texted back, emailed her, called again, and finally called from my wife's phone to get a hold of her, because this shit was unacceptable. What followed was one of the most batshit insane conversations I have ever had in my life.

I told her that tonight was not going to work for her to come over, and she needed to hire a professional to come in and inspect for mold, because I wasn't going to mess with my health. She claims that she does this for people all the time, so she knows what she's doing. I said that I didn't care, and that I wanted a professional. I said that I wasn't going to mess around with my health.

It's honestly tough for me to explain this next part, as she then claimed that she cured herself of a mold allergy in 1965, and we didn't need to worry about the health effects because she knew what she was doing, but also since she had that allergy, she knew how serious the health issues could be. There's so much to take out of that as shit's changed in the last 50 years. Also, if she's cured of a mold allergy, can she just breathe that shit in and get stronger? Is she like a superhero? MoldWoman or Grandmold? Grandmald? I'm still workshopping it. Oh, and this doesn't get into her saying how serious the issue was but how we don't need to worry. I reasonably stated that she still needed to bring in a professional.

She then started screaming at me that I needed to trust her, and I told her I didn't need to do that at all, and a professional needed to come in. She then claimed she didn't have the money to hire someone, which I know is straight up bullshit, because she gets $1250 in rent from us every month. Maybe she could dip into that money. She cried poor, so I told her that I would get a lawyer if she wouldn't get the house checked. That really got her upset, which was good. She went back to her expertise, so I finally said, "Hey Helen, do you have a certificate to do something like this? Because if you do, I'm fine with that." She finally relented, as she knew that she was just a dipshit trying to save money and had no real expertise in that area.

Finally, she had her helper friend come in to rip up the nasty ass carpet that she is trying to save instead of just replacing, even though this carpet could have reasonably been replaced a decade ago. And her whole, "We don't need to worry" advice was kind of thrown out the window, as her helper friend refused to sit inside the house when he wasn't ripping up the carpet, as he just went out to his car with the A/C blasting as he waited for things to dry. We hung out in the garage all day and declared it Garage Day 2016. It wasn't the most technical thing in the world, but at least it was something.

They did finally start to use real methods as in putting a solution down to kill the mold and to bring in a dehumidfier and industrial fan to dry the area out. It was enough for us to not feel ill every time we spent more than five minutes on the side of the house that was infected, which, sadly, was good enough for us. We are leaving soon, and thank god for that.

Later this week, I'll talk about Garage Day 2016, the one positive that came from this experience.

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