Monday, August 1, 2016

Counterpoint: Five-Star Hotels Are Pretty Great

Last week, I talked about how five-star hotels are overrated. They're really expensive, and there's nothing that great that really stands out about them from a regular hotel that normal people stay at. I mean, all a hotel really comes down to is a bed and a shower with decent water pressure. As I said last week, there is no way it's worth hundreds of dollars extra a night.

Okay, so maybe there is a way. I stayed at a Ritz-Carlton this past weekend for work, and I've got to say, these people know what they are doing. Their staff was on point the entire time, and everything ran incredibly smooth throughout my entire stay. Since I work in events, I got to take full advantage of their top-notch customer service.

I was talking with one guy, and he asked if we needed anything. Since I'm easy to please, I couldn't think of anything as everything had pretty much gone as planned. He then asked again, and I assured him I didn't need anything. Since I am a slow person, he asked yet again, this time putting more emphasis on the word, "anything."

It was clear that this was not just an extra mint on the pillow. This was anything. It was at this point that I finally understood the appeal of a five-star hotel. I mean, different area codes, different rules, right? I mean, I'm a drug-free married guy, but I'm out of town, and what happens at the Ritz, stays at the Ritz. My mind began racing. What should I ask for first? Hookers? Cocaine? Either way, you know you're getting primo stuff. Like, no worries that your cocaine is going to be laced with meth if you're getting it through a Five-star hotel. And hookers, I mean, not only are they disease free, having sex with hookers this classy might actually cure chlamydia.

So, after much deliberation, I finally decided to tell him to get me...

Nothing. I'm still a simple dude who doesn't need much. At least other people I was with got sodas, but I literally had nothing that I wanted. Five-star hotels still aren't for me, but I now at least understand the appeal.

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