The Ultimate NXT Draft: Picks 111-120

I know what you're thinking. How are you still not done with this thing? Trust me, even when we got on a run of drafting guys every 10 seconds, it still felt like it dragged on forever. But these are the sacrifices we make. I would say that there is a significant dropoff at this point as it turned into more of throwing darts at a board than really being genuinely excited about the picks. Jonah went Asian; I went for love.

111. Jonah selects Rocky
Jonah: Rocky is also Chinese so I think I’m going to give him a Rocky Balboa gimmick to throw everyone off. He looks like a pretty big guy too, so I’m very happy with my selection of two large Chinese guys.

Joe: I’m absolutely fascinated how WWE decided to call this man, Rocky. There has to be some sort of inside joke, right? Did he break his hand punching a wall? Was he dating a woman named Adrian or had a cousin named Mick that always came around? This can’t be a serious name so I really need to know this story.

112. Joe selects Eddie Dennis
Joe: Eddie Dennis is tall and speaks well. Classic double-threat. He had a fine match the one time I saw him in person, but everything about this guy screams heel.

Jonah: Eddie Dennis is tall and he has made it on TV. He needs to add some mass on top of that height though because Eddie Dennis ain’t got no cuts.

113. Joe selects Isla Dawn
Joe: Isla Dawn is a lady, and you can’t teach that. She’s kind of got a Melisandre vibe to her, so she better capitalize quickly on that since Game of Thrones is over.

Jonah: Isla Dawn is a Scottish wrestler and she’s got that great red hair. She’s got a good amount of experience and has actually wrestled Asuka. Good potential pick here.

114. Jonah selects Dave Mastiff
Jonah: Dave Mastiff is huge, over 300 pounds and looks like a badass. He has also made it on NXT UK TV already, so who knows, he could develop into a monster.

Joe: He’s just a short fat guy, but he does have some good technical skills. I just don’t see much you can do with him outside of skilled jobber. A poor man's Bull Dempsey.

115. Jonah selects Nina Samuels
Jonah: Nina Samuels was a Rosebud, so she’s destined for stardom. She’s got a good look and is already competing on NXT UK TV. She’s got a few years of wrestling experience so just put that together with that Rosebud charm and strap a rocket to her back.

Joe: She is okay at wrestling, and I feel like 115th really is her sweet spot for this draft.

116. Joe selects Mike Kanellis
Joe: Mike Kanellis just signed a new five-year contract as the WWE was absolutely scared to death that he might leave WWE and put AEW on the map with the power of love. I feel like this is somebody who doesn’t suck as bad as we think he does. Plus, he seems happily married, so I basically get Maria in the deal as well.

Jonah: I mean no one cares about Mike Kanellis, he makes face Roderick Strong look like The Rock. He’s fine in the ring, but he’s got no personality or charisma and is only OK in the ring. Give me that potential star over him every day. Congrats on getting Maria.

Joe: Sounds like you don’t believe in true love.

117. Joe selects Oliver Carter
Joe: I did a Google image search of this guy before the draft, and he was coming off the top rope. I like when guys fly around, so I think I’ll like Oliver Carter just fine.

Jonah: From what little I can find on Oliver Carter he does sound like a pretty good high flyer. I was pissed that he’s nowhere close to the top of the Google search list for “Oliver Carter”. Get a cooler name guy.

118. Jonah selects Boa
Jonah: Boa has decent size and he’s a purple belt in BJJ. Plus he’s Chinese and my show is going to be number one in China.

Joe: Even the biggest stars in OWE are Japanese.

119. Jonah selects Ashton Smith
Jonah: This guy is experienced, he’s been wrestling since 2007. He made it to the quarterfinals of the UK tournament and he’s got some cool moves. Plus he’s from Jamaica and has a move called Cool Runnings, that’s dope.

Joe: The quarterfinals of the UK Tournament? Wait, is that just the first round? I’m not going to look it up, so I’ll just assume it’s the first round.

120. Joe selects Brian Kendrick
Joe: Technically, the name is THE Brian Kendrick, which makes him the favorite wrestler of every garbage person in Ohio. He’s different and would be really useful if he lived in alternative universe, like he could be on Bray Wyatt’s kid show and fit in perfectly while getting incredibly popular. In reality, he’s probably going to wrestle for a couple more years before becoming a trainer at the Performance Center. He’s a solid guy that can fill some time.

Jonah: The Brian Kendrick is a pretty good wrestler who’s been around forever. He’s also a completely garbage person He’s a big follower of David Icke who not only believes in lizard people but is a huge fan of anti semitism. Enjoy Joe.

Joe: I’m not going to look up if this is true, because ignorance is bliss. But if it is true, I have a solution. A best-of-seven series with WALTER. In it, WALTER gets disqualified three times for excessively beating a man, that’s when he really gets mad.

Previously in the NXT Draft:
Picks 1-10

Picks 11-20

Picks 21-30

Picks 31-40

Picks 41-50

Picks 51-60

Picks 61-70

Picks 71-80

Picks 81-90

Picks 91-100

Picks 101-100

The Comprehensive History of the APA

Thanks to reader, Lukewarm Jonah, for the suggestion on writing about the APA. He mentioned that he wasn't talking about that writing shit, but when I hear APA, the Acolytes Protection Agency will always be the first thing that comes to mind. The APA is a very interesting WWE team, as they are still beloved, despite neither guy being near his peak during their time as a member of the APA. Ron Simmons/Farooq was far more influential in the WCW and during his time leading the Nation of Domination. Meanwhile, Bradshaw would become JBL and be a consistent World Heavyweight Title Champion and contender. But still, they drank beer, cussed, and gambled, and those activities will always be cool in pro wrestling. Before we get there, let's look at how these guys came together.

It all started with The Undertaker and Paul Bearer creating the Ministry of Darkness. Bradshaw and Farooq joined up as Hell's Henchmen. They quickly became The Acolytes when their manager, The Jackyl, left the WWE. Their first order of business was adding some weight behind the Ministry. 

With the help of Phineas I. Godwinn (Mideon), they abduct a 600 pound Mabel, who would later become Viscera, and be as successful in that role as he was in all of his others (not very).

The Acolytes would go on to win the tag team titles a couple times, and that's all well and good. But wrestling will never be what they were remembered for, they were the best bodyguards (sorry, Diesel) in WWE history. 

These guys split from the Ministry of Darkness to do their own thing. It gave them more time to kick ass and drink beer. Still, they valued one thing even more than beer, and that was money. But it took them a while to change from a tag team to an official protection agency. Luckily, the Mean Street Posse needed help, and they found the perfect guys for the job.

My favorite part of that video is that they are playing gin. That is the ultimate Grandma card game.

Now, as a professional protection agency, they needed to hone their skills. A lot of people may try to do this at a dojo or mixed martial arts gym, but the APA knew the kind of fights they were going to get into, so they trained where the fights were happening, the bars. 

Bradshaw doesn't care if you're the state's arm wrestling champion, and neither him or Farooq care if they are outnumbered. As long as they strike first, they are going to win the fight. Here, they beat the crap out of a bunch of posers from Rhode Island. They leave without a scratch on them. This would not be the last time that they fought in a bar, and by a bar, I mean it won't be the last time that they fought in this very bar. This would help them when the WWE had bar room brawls where they not only had to fight but drink excessively as well.

Still, business was not as booming as they had hoped, so they did what any good business would do and produce a top-notch commercial.

Not many protection agencies will be paid in beer and cigars, but that's what made the APA such great business men. They were willing to think outside the box. One of their downfalls in business was that they were sitting there but let their answering machine take the call. If you want beer, you gotta answer the phone. Also, guys, you have a drawer for Zima but not Natty Light, that's suspect planning on your part.

They did try to get clever with what APA could stand for, and, um, that didn't work out too well.

Yeah, there is no way to construe that as anything but the advertisement for a successful gay bar. The WWE could have been really progressive and made them two badass gays who did not fit into typical stereotypes, but this is the WWE, so there was no way of that happening.

Still, it was clear that these guys had their shit together, so it was no surprise that other WWE Superstars wanted to be like the APA.

Here are the six best things about that video.
6. Brian Kendrick has clearly never been around a drunk person.
5. Farooq insisting that drinking alcohol is the only way to make it.
4. Bradshaw claiming that Brian Kendrick had a malignant case of dumbass.
3. That door.
2. Bradshaw saying that Britney Spears kissing Jenna Jameson would be hot.
1. Farooq responding that Britney Spears is a virgin.

This video should be shown in schools to help future generations became awesome.

The APA also helped get over one of the simplest, yet memorable, catchphrases in WWE history.

DAMN.

In the end, these guys were more than hired hands to take care of dirty work. They were friends, and that is the element of the APA we can never forget. The only people they cared about were the people with the biggest paychecks. The only exceptions were each other. And if there's one thing friends know how to do, it's throw a party.

Yes, the APA may have closed their doors, but the memories, much like their friendship, will live on forever.