Suits Power Rankings - Endgame

Last week, Harold came back and Harvey beat up Stephen. Now that they finally figured out the rights to Mikado, it is time to focus on smaller cases, like murder charges. There was one big case, as Louis went toe-to-toe with Harold, but we'll get to that later. Check out last week's rankings here, now onto this week of murder, betrayal, and rope climbing:

1. Jessica Pearson - Uses the Hessington Oil case to get out of their merger with Darby, if they can win the trial. Jessica brings over a bottle of booze to rebuild her and Harvey's relationship. And she uses her knowledge of their relationship to expose Cameron and Darby to do what she wants. She is getting her firm back, and she's clearly a pretty boss lawyer, as Darby had no choice but to stop practicing law in the United States with his plea deal. Jessica is back in charge and not taking shit from anybody. She won her firm, won the case, and probably just filled up that fancy bottle of booze with well whiskey that she obtained from Buckshots in Austin, Texas.

2. Cameron Dennis - Cameron does go after bad guys, but he needs proof from Harvey before he is going to do him any favors. It's always nice when a lawyer actually uses logic. He ends up putting bad guys away and winning. He still couldn't turn that into a partnership with Pearson Specter, but hey, a guy's gotta try. Cameron's love to win was definitely going to carry over to his celebration that night, and the lucky thing for the ladies is that in Cameron's Mustache Rides, everyone's a winner.

3. Harold Gunderson - Oh shit, he's back again. Louis tries to yell at him, but Harold grew a backbone, used some valid lawyer reasoning and straight up owned Louis. He then sues one of Louis's companies, just to rub Louis's face in it. Louis then thought he put Harold in his place, but Harold pulled one over on him. It was just nonstop ownage. Louis was trying to end Harold's career, but Rachel reasoned with Louis, so Harold got everything he wanted. I will be shocked if he is not given another chance at Pearson Specter. The only real question is whether they will change the name to Pearson Specter Gunderson. Harold gonna Harold, ya'll.

4. Donna Paulsen - She got her heart broken, but she gets to be the arresting officer for Stephen Huntley, so that's pretty cool.

5. Harvey Specter - Harvey found out that Stephen is a murderer, but he has no proof, so that is kind of an issue, except every person at Pearson Darby sees how clear the evidence is, but their proof is not law proof, so they must find proper law proof, you know, for the law. He calls Stephen to the witness stand. He starts getting somewhere, but the judge said he was on a short leash, and instead of pulling a Peter Bash and being arrested for contempt, he backs off like a real life lawyer. So everything completely blows up in his face. Still, him and Jessica come up with a plan to get Darby to bury Huntley, and they are barely able to hide their glee as Darby falls for it.

6. Mike Ross - Mike goes undercover to hang out with Mariga. He tries to use scare tactics on Mariga, but nobody like Mariga will ever be scared of a Mike Ross. After dealing with Mariga, being confronted by Harold barely altered his stride as he went on to the murder trial. Mike gets Clifford to help him, because Mike broke the law to get him out. If there is one thing this show has taught me, it is break the law all the time. Because if you do, somebody will owe you, and you can get a huge favor from them down the line. I can't wait to guilt trip my friends into killing someone for me, because I once ran a red light to get them food from McDonalds when they were really drunk. After winning the murder trial, Mike decides to sex Rachel after Harvey turns him down (this really happened).

7. Harold's Mother - Always so happy as she watches him work.

8. Rachel Zane - Rachel reasons with Louis early on, but that's a losing battle. Finally, she puts him in his place for being a bully to Harold. Why did she stick up for Harold? Let's just say that Mike isn't the only guy that she mixed business and pleasure with, except Harold dumped her when she tried stalking him. It got really bad. Finally, he changed his last name from Jakowski to Gunderson to avoid the harassment. Mystery solved.

9. Ava Hessington - Ava might be put in prison for murder, and she's not real happy about it, especially since she used to be Darby's pretend girlfriend, so Darby could use his power bottom to get some of that Papa Hessington Man Oil. Justice prevails in the end, but she still wasn't real happy. Lighten up, lady.

10. Louis Marlo Litt - Louis is back to abusing associates again, but that is only because he misses his true love, Mikado. Louis breaks into Harold's office and gives him the truth on why Harold got fired. This, of course, backfires, as Harold sues one of his companies. Finally, after Harold owns him a few times, Louis stops making it about business and starts making it personal to ruin Harold's career. Then we find out that he only did this, because he couldn't climb the rope in gym class, and Harold was actually an Olympic rope climber, but he would never show Louis the secret.

11. Edward Darby - Darby is a coward, because he didn't want to know how Stephen got things done for Hessington Oil. Then he lost the Pearson side of the merger, because he had to keep Ava out of jail for pretending to be his girlfriend during his gay sexcapades.

12. Stephen Huntley - Darby fires Stephen, because, yeah, murder is not good. But even worse, Harvey's fists apparently caused Stephen to get pink eye, so good luck picking up chicks with that. Still, Stephen does give a pretty good line to Jessica and Harvey when he says, "I don't give threats; I give warnings...you've been warned." He then declined to answer a bunch of questions and made Harvey look like a bitch. Still, he decided to hang around the United States where he has no family, no friends, and no job. This gave the local police enough time to arrest him for murder. Whoopsies.

13. Colonel Mariga - Mariga is a wise man who is not intimidated by Mike. He then lies on the stand, because Mariga got paid, made, and as long as he doesn't get caught, laid. They never address that the new deal probably means that he is going to be sent back to his home country and murdered. For all of the talk about how they didn't want to see someone get killed, they seem totally fine with this guy probably going through some hellacious torture before he is killed. I don't think he'll be making another appearance on these rankings. 

Suits Power Rankings - She's Mine

Obviously, this was the biggest episode of the season in my mind, because we had a very special guest appearance. But as special as that man is to me, it still was not enough to get him up to number one, because shit went down this week and there was some incredibly strong lawyering. We found out about the murder, there was a fight, and Rachel got to do some lawyering. So, yeah, people had strong weeks. You can check out last week's here, and now onto this very special edition of the Suits Power Rankings:

1. Harvey Specter - Harvey threatens beating up Huntley, because nobody messes with Harvey's case. But Harvey decides to skip out on being managing partner, because he's over it. Harvey can't reason with Jessica, because she's still pretty butthurt at Harvey over his betrayal and effort to take her job. I wish these two could just sit down and Harvey could end all this with a simple, "Playa's gotta play, ya know?" Harvey may not become managing partner, but he may get out of the merger. He then finds out about Huntley's evil doings, and he goes and kicks his ass, just like he threatened to do. The thing I enjoyed the most about their fight scene is their willingness to work the body. I mean, yes, you could hit a liver shot and put someone out, and since they are inexperienced, maybe knock the wind out of your opponent, but body shots are really there to wear down someone. I really enjoy that in Harvey's rage, his fighting strategy was still designed for 12 rounds. Also, his hair still looked marvelous.

2. Rachel Zane - Rachel is helping Louis steal Mikado and she is finally going to get to be a lawyer. Yes, it is only in a mock trial, but it's still real to her, damnit. She kicks ass in the case and shows that she has what it takes to be a great lawyer. Luckily, Columbia agrees, as she is going to law school. Looks like somebody read my review last week and learned that there were law schools on the east coast as well as the west coast. Yes, she may not be working on murder trials, but some would argue that cat possession cases are to mock trials what murder is to real trials. Also, Mikado even likes her, and he usually hates strangers. Maybe Rachel should be Mikado's owner.

3. Mike Ross - He thinks that Harvey may have trouble fighting Huntley, because Huntley plays rugby. Little does he know that if Huntley messes Harvey's hair, Harvey basically turns into The Incredible Hulk. Mike reasons with Jessica that she is going after Nick, because she's mad at Harvey. Mike uses his photographic memory to learn all of Cameron's secrets, and they find out that Nick Howell is not as dumb and innocent as he looks. This actually isn't his biggest discovery, because it turns out Nick was just shady, not guilty. He found out that Huntley and Mariga used to play rugby together and that Huntley ordered the murders. Also, I would have really liked to see this scene as Mike visits Rachel's apartment:

Mike: You are not going to believe the day I had.
Rachel: Oh, me too. You go first.
Mike: Due to some nifty investigation, I found out that Huntley is the guy who ordered the murders.
Rachel: Oh, wow, that's crazy. Almost as crazy as what happened to me. They called in Harold on the cat case to try to destroy Louis's credibility, but I turned it around and ended up getting Louis control of the associates again. Lawyering, AMIRITE?
Mike: Are you comparing your mock trial cat custody case to my real-life murder trial?
Rachel: You just can't stand me being a successful lawyer in a big time case. Why can't you just be happy for me?
Mike: (stunned silence)

So, nice lawyering, Mike. Not as nice as your girlfriend's, but still nice.

4. Harold Gunderson - HOLY SHIT! Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. OH MY GOD. Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. That was literally all I could do while fanning myself down when Harold showed up. It's always good to see an old friend. I was also really hoping we would find out how he got a new name, but that was unfortunately not the case. But Harold comes back to testify that Louis is an awful parent in the Mikado case. Harold has scars on his psyche. He is also the Michael Vick of catsitting. Louis's incompetence was brought up in court to discredit him. He failed to deliver a motion to court, because of inclement weather. He gave the strategy of their case to opposing counsel, because he thought it was part of disclosure. He left a zero off the Hopkins settlement, but Louis covered for him and saved them $900,000. Even though he hates Louis and he wasn't under oath, he still told the truth about Louis's love for cats, because Harold is a man of honor. Also, despite everything, Harold still has a kickass job at another law firm. Everything's coming up Harold, baby!

5. Cameron Dennis - Finally has a case, as the Colonel is the perfect witness to prove Ava Hessington is guilty. This is the most shocking turn of events ever. Not the Colonel part, but just that Cameron has a case. This is like a guy going after a girl way out of his league, her telling him he has no chance, but not giving up. He tries, again and again, and even drunk, she's like, "sorry, not happening." But he just keeps trying, and maybe some PUA dropped a roofie in her drink, but Cameron at least has a chance to finally close the deal. Still, it's not over yet.

6. Louis Marlo Litt - Louis is doing everything he can to keep Mikado, because it's his best friend. Louis doesn't have time to learn Chinese, because he's too busy preparing for a cat mock trial. Louis is going to have Rachel help him in order to keep his love, and yes, we are still talking about Mikado. But Louis does have one other love, and that is fostering the growth of the associates. It may be tough love, but he agrees to a settlement that gives Mikado to Nigel while he takes back over in leading the associates.

7. Colonel Mariga - Is just loving life. He's killed; he's cool with it, and sometimes he took money for it. Also, he's had phone conversations with Ava, which gives him a hearty laugh. "It's good to be Colonel Mariga" is what he thinks as he lays his head on the pillow and drifts into slumber at a five star hotel.

8. Jessica Pearson - Jessica got over her hissy fit and is taking over the firm again, but she is taking her anger at Harvey against Ava. She uses that anger to go after the assistant, Nick, because he's a tool. She was more wrong than right, but it got them closer to the final answer. Also, she now wants out of the merger, which, um, seems like a difficult thing to reverse. I am pretty sure Darby was smart enough to make the all important note in the document of "No take backs," but I guess we'll see.

9. Edward Darby - Darby is as cool as a cucumber, as everything works out for him. This is a man who power-bottomed his way to the top, so he's not afraid of a little pressure. (Sidenote: I believe the previous sentence may be the best thing I have ever written in my entire life).

10. Nigel Alexander Nesbitt - Put a tracking device on Mikado, because he sees Mikado as a possession. Nigel gets pressured into a mock trial and has to defend himself, because the associates aren't good enough to win his case. He found Harold to testify against Louis, but even that backfired against him. Finally, he had to make a settlement, give up the associates to get back his precious Mikado. It was a win-win for both sides.

11. Mikado - Needs her special milk and needs special love. She truly is a wondrous feline, one that will be spending her life with Nigel.

12. Donna Paulsen - Donna thought that Stephen was perfect, but Harvey let her know that he shits the bed, and sadly, that is not his worst quality. Donna caught Stephen lying to her, which hurt her both professionally and personally. That is also not his worst quality. Stephen made her cry, so Harvey goes and beats him up to defend her honor. I feel like Donna is the type of person who can take a step back and admire that she has two men fighting over her honor.

13. Ava Hessington - Ava had a phone call, but she didn't think that was important. If she was a dude, nobody would be surprised that she forgot about a phone call; they would have just been happy that she was fully dressed, but since she's a lady, she's expected to remember everything like a gossiping teenager.

14. Nick Howell - Ava's assistant who had some shady things going on, but none of them were murder. Despite stabbing Ava in the back, he still seems shocked that they may try to convince a jury that he called for the murders. He is completely unlovable, basically the anti-Harold.

15. Stephen Huntley - Not only does Huntley play the piano, he also plays rugby. Unfortunately when he's not doing those activities, he's messing up Ava Hessington's case like a poor man's Harold. But he wasn't doing it because of incompetence, he was doing it because he ordered the murders. Since he hurt Donna, Harvey confronts him in the bathroom, because at Pearson Darby Specter, if people aren't in their office, they are usually washing their hands after a good shit. Seriously, people are always found in the men's bathroom at the sink. What would Harvey have done if he was at a urinal or on the can? Would he wait? Would he punch a guy with his dick in his hand. Would he kick down a stall door? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Anyway, Stephen gives Harvey a good fight, but is left laying on the bathroom floor when it's all said and done. On top of this, he lost his arrangement with Donna, so he'll be stuck calling a New York City Hooker. Not the prostitute kind, the rugby kind, because he likes to get on the pitch when he's not getting laid.