My Dog Pooped In My Car

Well, the title really tells the story. My dog pooped in my car. We were driving over to her favorite park, so I could throw the ball for her and wear her out. It was about 8:00 Sunday morning, and I wanted to get her out before the weather got too hot for her, as she is basically a princess who likes to take it easy when it gets too warm.

So, we are going through our normal routine. Me in the driver's seat, her riding shotgun with her head out the window, getting all of that precious fresh air. As we were turning into the park, she started really sticking her head out of the window, as she got further and further outside the car. I had to convince her to calm down and stay in the car, as she looked like she was ready to jump out of the moving car. 

I smelled it before I saw it.

The car stunk, and I thought she just farted, but then I looked down on her seat to see one juicy turd laying on the passenger seat. She was even more adamantly trying to get out of the car, but I calmed her down enough to at least not jump out, as we only had about 30 seconds until we could safely park and she could be let out. I was also impressed that she was being very careful not to step on the turd that she had dropped off in the passenger seat. At this point, I was more miffed than anything as I was still processing everything that was going on while making sure my dog didn't seriously injure herself.

I finally park to let her out, and she of course jumps to my side of the vehicle to get out of the car. In her anxiety to get out of the car, she managed to somehow turn and spin to get every single one of her paws into the turd. She spread it all over the front seat and got a significant portion onto my driver's seat. Also, I noticed that her nub was bleeding, and there was actually shit and blood all over my front seats. Amazing. 

She took a big old dump, and then I gathered up a bunch of toilet paper from the nearby restroom to wipe up as much as I could, but, not surprisingly, my car still reeked of shit. 

At this point, we were already at the park, so I figured we still might as well play a little bit. I threw the ball for her for a few times, but she knew that she messed up by pooping in the car, so she wasn't all that into it. Either way, it gave the car a little time to air out, but it still smelled like poop when we got back inside. 

Anyway, we got home, I cleaned my interior (luckily it's leather, because I'm a BOSS), and went on to have a nice little Sunday. And that concludes the story of when my dog pooped in my car.

Why I Still Believe In Derrick Rose

Let me just be up front about something: I have an irrational love for Derrick Rose. It has a lot to do with my lifelong fandom of the Chicago Bulls, but just as important is how entertaining Derrick Rose was early on in his career. He wasn't always great, but he would always do great things. He was the most exciting player in the NBA, because he would just do these ridiculous things that would make your jaw drop.

Then he got injured.

Things haven't quite been the same since. At first, it was only bad, but this year the turnaround has begun. He hasn't been the MVP candidate that he used to be, but he has shown glimpses of his former self. It is those moments that I grasp onto as a fan. I see those moments as seeds, and I continue to think that they will blossom into what he once was. And I do still believe. 

While the mainstream media treats Rose as more of an afterthought, I still see the potential greatness, and I believe that he will turn that potential into a reality. 

Point guard is the most loaded position in the league right now. Even teams that are weak at point guard almost all have decent options. And most teams have guys that are All-Star caliber or at least borderline. There are guys below the elite class like Jeff Teague who is a really good player, and yet, if you gave me the option, I wouldn't take him over Rose.

Sure, those guys can consistently give you good performances, but there is a distinct ceiling on what they can bring to the table. Meanwhile, Derrick Rose is maddeningly inconsistent. He has had plenty of 8 point games on 30% shooting, but he'll also throw up 30 points on a random night and look like that unstoppable force that he was before he was maligned by injuries. 

When it comes to the playoffs, I'd rather have the chance of greatness as opposed to a guaranteed good performance. A lot of people are doubting Derrick Rose, but I'm not close to giving up. Jeff Teague is an All-Star for his consistency, but their best is never going to match Derrick Rose's best. 

That's why I still believe in Derrick Rose.

Derrick Rose Is More Exciting Than Blake Griffin

I know that most NBA fans will find the title of this article blasphemous.  They'll think, "Blake Griffin is so cool.  He dunks it really hard.  That's excitement personified."  Okay, they probably wouldn't use the word personified, but you get the point.  Almost all NBA fans love Blake Griffin.  Now don't get me wrong, I think Blake's a great player, and I enjoy watching his hustle.  But as I watched a highlight video of him this year, I realized something:  He isn't that exciting.  If you want to watch, here it is for all to enjoy:

Imagine going to a Clippers game.  Blake Griffin would inevitably dunk, and you could say that you saw Blake Griffin dunk.  But if someone asked you to describe that dunk, you’d probably say that it was the one where he dunked it really hard, and that's about it.  It’s cool that he dunks, but it’s a dunk.  It’s fun, but dunkers come and go.  Let’s face it, unless you’re a hardcore fan of the Iowa Hawkeyes, you probably don’t think about Thunder Doug Thomas very often.

On the other hand, Derrick Rose’s plays are timeless.  They make your jaw drop.  Plus, they’re fun as hell to describe.  You can actually show your friends what he did, which you can't do with a Blake Griffin dunk.  Now, will you do Rose's moves much slower and way more awkwardly?  Of course you will.  But you can position your friends as defenders, show your slow ass crossover move, spin past a third guy, and go in for an easy layup. Just so everyone has a visual, here's a random D-Rose highlight video.

If you compare their highlight videos, it’s not even close.  Blake Griffin’s is dunk, dunk, another dunk, an alley-oop dunk, a two handed dunk, a windmill dunk, another dunk, and a dunk.

Derrick Rose's highlights involve steals, blocks, assists, rebounds, lay-ups, spin moves, crossovers, broken ankles, ball fakes, and of course, dunks.

But the real beauty of Derrick Rose is not watching his highlights, it's watching everything he does.  Derrick Rose is not the most God-gifted point guard in the league, but he's definitely the most fun to watch.  John Wall is more athletic than Derrick Rose.  Chris Paul is more technically skilled than Derrick Rose.  Deron Williams is physically stronger than Derrick Rose.  And Rajon Rondo is a far bigger douchebag than Derrick Rose could ever be. 

But you can watch any game that the Bulls have played this season, and no matter the situation, you'll find your eyes drifting towards D-Rose.  Part of that is that he's really learned to hustle on both ends of the floor, but part of it is something else.  When the Bulls need a boost, Derrick Rose has the killer instinct to do everything that is humanly possible to take over a game.  It doesn’t always work.  Otherwise the Bulls would be undefeated.  But it is one of the most exciting things to ever see a basketball player do.  As much as we all want to find that instinct in any of our favorite players, it’s an extremely rare thing for someone to have.  There are guys who can turn it on, but a guy who is able to bring it every single night is so special that you'll only see it once in a decade..  In the 80s, it was Bird.  In the 90s, it was Jordan.  It the 00s, it was Kobe.  Now, I’m certainly not ready to hand over the 10s to Derrick Rose in February of 2011, but he’s definitely the favorite.

Listen, Blake Griffin is an incredibly talented player.  He is already one of the most popular players in the NBA.  But he’ll never be the best, and if you actually enjoy watching the game of basketball, he’ll never be the most exciting either.  I’m not ready to crown D-Rose as the best player in the NBA, but he’s got that killer instinct that is rare to see, and nearly impossible to beat.  Because of that, there’s no one I’d rather watch play the game. 

-Joe

P.S.  Even though I was not able to weave it into my post, I wanted to mention the admiration that Kobe has shown for Derrick Rose this year.  As skilled as Rose is, Kobe's admiration is because he sees his own killer instinct when he sees Rose.  I know a lot of people hate Kobe, but there is nobody who wants to win more than him...except for maybe Derrick Rose.