Thursday, February 7, 2013

Suits Power Rankings: Week 3 - Zane vs. Zane

Well, I'm late again this week. My excuse? Um, mostly laziness. There is no other way around it. I just decided to catch up on Suits this week. People have been sending me spoilers about a Daniel HARDMAN comeback, but it's not the end result that matters, it's the road that you take to get there. This was an incredibly strong week, as there was some top notch lawyerin' all around. As always, these are the rankings for lawyers who play by their own rules.

1. Robert Zane - Tells his daughter to rely on her looks, because her brains ain't gonna get her across town. That's some fatherly advice, especially on the poor broads birthday. He badgers a witness that had a lot in common with his daughter, which was some great parallelism. Then Robert calls out Harvey to try to take it from him at trial, because he's a straight up BAWSE. Then he tries to merge with Pearson Hardman, because he plays by his own rules, and I totally respect that. It looks like he's going to lose the case, so he does the only reasonable thing. He first tells his daughter that the case is over, so they can make amends and become best buds again. Then he drops it and gives it to HARDMAN. This guy literally is wiping his ass with the lawyer rule book. Congratulations, Bobby Z.

2. Harvey Specter - Harvey starts off the episode with a Michael Jordan drop. They are not messing around this season with MJ drops. Harvey vows to destroy Robert Zane for lowballing them. Harvey, who hasn't run into Robert Zane since Mike Ross started, knew that Robert Zane loves his daughter enough that seeing her in the deposition will throw him off his game. I feel like there is some exclusive Facebook for top-notch lawyers where Harvey can find out this information. Michael Jordan probably runs it. Harvey tries to exploit Zane by having Rachel there, but Bobby Z don't care. Still, bringing someone's family into this is a horrible thing to do, and that is why he is so high up on this list.

3. Katrina Bennett - She wants to go toe-to-toe with Louis, so she charms his pants off. Not literally, because she's pretty hot, and Louis would jump at that. She came up with the most pathetic plan ever, as Louis got in trouble for missing court. After Louis got her back, she takes it a step further and gets him arrested for bringing in a weapon to the court room. Nice job, Kat. But it leads to her becoming best friends with Louis. I've got my eye on you two.

4. Louis Litt - Babysits Katrina, because she is incompetent compared to her peers at Pearson Hardman. Louis did a far better job of pranking her by taking her files and replacing them with pictures of him photoshopped on famous Americans. Litt knows about finances and photoshop. He's a dual-threat in the courtroom. Then Louis outdueled Donna which never happens.

5. Mike Ross - He was very respectful to Mr. Zane. Gotta get in good with Dad if you want to bang the daughter again. Mike finds out that the company has been discriminating against a ton of women, which helps out their case a ton. He then hangs out with Harvey so they can throw it in Robert Zane's face. It was some good ol' fashioned lawyerin', but a little bit too much of playing within the rules.

6. Jessica Pearson - She made fun of Harvey's hair, because her and Bobby Z have a secret lawyer language. She didn't do much else until the end, when she made Robert Zane her bitch which forced him to pull out the HARDMAN card. So...yeah, that plan backfired.

7. Daniel Hardman - He didn't even show up on the episode, but the name of HARDMAN still sends shivers down their spines. HARDMAN is going to wreak havoc, and it will be glorious.

Best Non-Lawyer Performance
Rachel Zane - She turned down a free lunch after her Dad implied that she was stupid, which just kind of further proved his point. But then she vowed to kick his ass in the settlement case. Instead she got really sad about her Dad's deposition and the fact that he's never been proud of her. 

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