What the WWE Should Do With Daniel Bryan

Okay, so here is my dream angle for Daniel Bryan:

Bryan continues to shoot promos on Raw, and the McMahons continue to have security to escort him out of the building. After three or four weeks, they kick him out when Antonio Cesaro and Sami Zayn come out and beat up the security guards. Cesaro is a bad guy right now, but he can explain, "This isn't about a gimmick, this is about wrestling." This is when I get fully hard, because that would totally be awesome. The angle can go in one or two ways at this point.

1. These guys just start hauling ass on people, because they are as good or better wrestlers than anybody in the WWE. They eventually face off against a team of Orton, Del Rio, and Triple H. The wrestlers are about to win when all of a sudden, Sierra Hotel India Echo Lima Delta hits. The Shield comes strutting down the stairs. They get to the ring, Dean Ambrose takes the mic and says, "We fight for injustice. We have no beef with you guys. As you were," and the wrestlers put on some sick ass finishing move to win the match. That would be totally awesome.

2. Instead of fighting the guys the WWE loves, they have matches with each other. They bring in guys like Tyson Kidd, Kassius Ohno, and some other NXT guys and just have awesome wrestling matches. Instead of them proving themselves to the other WWE wrestlers, the other WWE wrestlers start proving themselves to the wrestlers. Dolph Ziggler starts wrestling against them. The Shield has matches against them. Hell, eventually, they could invent their own title, and this could anger Randy Orton so much that he challenges their champion to unify the belts. This would also be totally awesome.

Full disclosure: I'm just looking for an awesome way to get Antonio Cesaro a push.

Wrestlemania 29 Predictions

Lukewarm Jonah: Hott Joe and I love wrestling and we love gambling.  I bet you didn’t know you could combine the two and bet on a pre-determined contest, but you can.  I’ve found some actual betting odds from williamhill.com, a UK site.  There is actually an American site in Las Vegas that has odds too.  I’ve found the best lines, and Hott Joe and I will be giving you our Wrestlemania predictions and betting picks. 

Hott Joe: Thank God LJ is around, because I have been lazy as shit about writing, but this is definitely something I can get behind.

WrestleMania 29 - Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Fandango -800 (1/8)

Chris Jericho +425 (17/4)

Lukewarm Jonah: Fandango has to be my pick to win this match.  Chris Jericho came back last year just to put over guys like CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler.  One has to assume that he’s back to put Fandango over.  However, I didn’t expect odds these long and wouldn’t touch this bet.  Fandango is still the smart pick, but they could always give Jericho a win.

Hott Joe: Fandango has been one of my favorite parts of Raw over this last month, as any man who focuses a lot of his character on seduction will always be someone I can relate to. And oh, how the mighty have fallen. Jericho, the man who beat the great Marty Jannetty and gave us this…

...now makes fun of Fandango’s name in childish ways. Jericho is still awesome (I highly recommend both of his books), but let’s face it, Jericho could lose every match for the next three years and still get the same cheers from fans. Fandango is going to get the victory.

WrestleMania 29 – Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. The Shield

Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show +400 (4/1)

The Shield -700 (1/7)

Lukewarm Jonah:   I would like to take Randy Orton, Sheamus, and The Big Show as 4/1 underdogs.  I have no idea why the lines are so high, I guess William Hill thinks that we’ll get a heel turn from one of the three guys on the good guy team.  That’s very possible, but I don’t think it’s so crazy to think that the bad guys who have run rampant for months and months on end will finally get their comeuppance.  Really I think this match is a toss up, so I’ll take the good odds and go with the good guys at 4/1.

Hott Joe: Thank God Lukewarm Jonah wrote out this match, because whenever I refer to this match, I simply say The Shield vs. Turd Burglars. Last month, Sheamus tried to beat The Shield with the help of Cena and Ryback, now they replaced those two with Show and Orton. The Shield wins, and for a fun prediction, I say that at the next PPV, The Shield finally loses to Cena, The Rock, and Sheamus or Ryback.

WrestleMania 29 – Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Ryback -800 (1/8)

Mark Henry +425 (17/4)

Lukewarm Jonah: I’m picking Ryback to win this match.  This is another match where the odds aren’t good enough to put any money on it, but it’s very hard to see Ryback losing.  He’s being pushed to the moon, he’s a newer monster that needs to continue to be pushed.  Anything can happen in the WWE, and Henry is always a great monster heel to push, but Ryback is the smart pick here.

Hott Joe: This match comes down to one question for me, can Ryback actually pick up Mark Henry for his finisher? He couldn’t do it to Tensai, so I have some serious doubts. I really hope the WWE tells Ryback that he needs to do his finisher or Mark Henry gets to win. I’ll go with the upset and Mark Henry finishing off The Ryback.

WrestleMania 29 – Intercontinental Championship – Wade Barrett vs. The Miz

Wade Barrett +275 (11/4)

The Miz -450 (2/9)

Lukewarm Jonah: It’s the preshow match for the Intercontinental Title, kind of sad that this match can’t even make the real show.  Anyways, it seems like they’re building the Miz up, so an Intercontinental Title run would make sense.  It would also open up the underutilized Barrett for a possible run at the World Title.  My gut says the Miz, but it’s really a toss up in my honest opinion.  I would take the Miz as my pick, but I wouldn’t touch this bet.

Hott Joe: God, I hate The Miz, but he’s going to win. I don’t want to talk anymore about this.

WrestleMania 29 – Team Hell No vs. Ziggler & Langston

Team Hell No -130 (10/13)

Ziggler & Langston EVEN (1/1)

Lukewarm Jonah: Basically a pick em bet, I’m taking Team Hell No.  I thought I would get better odds on them, but I’ll take close to even money.  There’s a good chance Ziggler is going to be involved with the World Title scene soon, possibly even at Wrestlemania.  They can’t have him holding the tag belts while he’s World Champ.  I also feel like they gave away the ending they would have used for a Ziggler/Langston win this past Monday .  My real bold prediction, AJ tries to distract one or both of Bryan and Kane, it backfires somehow and they retain.  This makes it an even bigger surprise when Ziggler cashes in Money in the Bank later and wins his first world title.

Hott Joe: I’m taking Team Hell No, but with a slightly different twist. I say AJ does get involved in the match, but then Kaitlyn comes out and starts beating her up. Big E comes to her rescue while Dolph gets destroyed in the ring. And yeah, I totally agree with LJ’s last prediction, but I’ll get into that later.

WrestleMania 29 – The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

The Undertaker -1600 (1/16)

CM Punk +700 (7/1)

Lukewarm Jonah: This is way too big of a lock, and the odds reflect it.  However if you really are looking for guaranteed money, put it on the Undertaker.  The Undertaker’s undefeated streak will never be beaten, especially not this year, and especially not by CM Punk.  I love Punk to death, but he has no chance.  Taker still has money matches left with John Cena and Brock Lesnar.  As I said, the odds suck, but this is the equivalent of picking the Yankees to beat your local little league team, you know it’s going to happen.

Hott Joe: Taker, obviously. Also, am I the only person that hasn’t ruled out that Paul Bearer might still be alive? Like, the WWE is very shady, so I could totally see them successfully pulling off someone’s death. My bold prediction is that Taker wins with the help of a Paul Bearer run waddle-in (This is not going to happen, but at least admit that it could).

WrestleMania 29 – No Holds Barred Match – Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

Triple H -650 (2/13)

Brock Lesnar +375 (15/4)

Lukewarm Jonah: I thought Lesnar would be a much bigger underdog here, and I was planning on making him my value pick.  At these odds, I’ve got to take Triple H.  I thought Lesnar would be one of the real long shots, close to CM Punk levels.  It’s always possible that Triple H saw two of his best friends, Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels retire at Wrestlemania and decided that was the way he wanted to go out.  However, I just see Triple H getting his win back from Summerslam.  Triple H wins, Shawn Michaels superkicks Lesnar or Heyman or both, even Vince probably gets involved.  Trips wins, and at these odds I’d probably lay some decent money on it.

Hott Joe: This stipulation is still the worst stipulation of all time. A No Holds Barred match where Brock Lesnar has no friends, and Triple H is the “coolest kid at school.” Oh, and it’s for Triple H’s career, which was already over before Lesnar came back. YOU CALLED HIM OUT OF RETIREMENT TO PUT HIM IN A RETIREMENT MATCH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Anyway, I have similar thoughts again, but I see all of DX getting involved and Lesnar F-5ing all of them until H can hit the Pedigree and win.

WrestleMania 29 – Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Alberto Del Rio -500 (1/5)

Jack Swagger +300 (3/1)

Lukewarm Jonah: Another match I thought would be much longer odds, that I would have considered making a value pick.  Jack Swagger has a hot new gimmick that has gotten mainstream attention, but he’s not going to win.  Del Rio will win for his injured friend Ricardo Rodriquez, and he will also win because if Ziggler cashes in Money in the Bank he’s got to do it against a face.  Also, if they don’t have Zigger cash in, they’re trying to build Del Rio up as their new Mexican superstar since Rey Mysterio will probably retire soon.  They need a guy to appeal to their large Mexican fanbase and if they don’t go for surprise cash in, I think Del Rio will have a long reign.  At these odds I like Del Rio a lot.

Hott Joe: Del Rio wins, and Ziggler comes out to immediately take the title. Dolph Ziggler has been getting pretty solid cheers for a while now. You add in the fact that it is WrestleMania crowd that loves wrestling more than anything else, and there is going to be a huge pop when he comes out to take the title. #HEEL

WrestleMania 29 – WWE Championship – The Rock vs. John Cena

The Rock +550 (11/2)

John Cena -1000 (1/10)

Lukewarm Jonah: Another easy lock just like Taker vs. Punk.  Cena gets his win back from last year and we have a passing the torch moment.  The real interest in this match is whether or not Cena will turn heel to win.  He hinted at it two RAW’s ago when he said the Rock didn’t beat him, he beat himself.  Cena turning heel would lead to a bunch of new match and storyline possibilities, and be on the same level as the Hollywood Hogan turn.  But anyways, back to the betting, there is no way The Rock retains, he has a bunch of awesome new movies to promote and can’t be champ.  A part time wrestle also can’t beat a full time wrestler on the biggest stage two years in a row. 

Hott Joe: There have been a lot of whispers about Cena turning bad, but maybe Cena already has become his heel persona. Maybe it will just be that he doesn’t care that adults all think he’s a douche, and he’s only doing it for the kids. The guy does a shit-ton of charity work, and he can still be cheered by kids while they get drowned out by the boos of adults. Still, he’ll win the title. John Cena’s worst year ever saw him win Royal  Rumble, have 15 title shots, and upgrade from his wife to a Bella Twin, what does this man need to have a good year?

WrestleMania 29 – Random Prediction

Hott Joe: My random prediction is that there will be a 20 man Battle Royal for a shot at the United States Championship. Zack Ryder will win, because he is basically the best Battle Royaler of all time, and he’s near his hometown. He will then beat my favorite wrestler, Antonio Cesaro, for the US Title. This is one of those cases where if you love someone, you need to set them free. Cesaro has lost his last 50 non-title matches, so maybe getting the belt off of him will let The Yodeler win some matches. Also, I’m still pissed that they dropped him trolling the fans by loving America so much. This man got booed for waving the American Flag; that’s the greatest thing from the past six months, well, outside of this:

LJ, I’ll let you finish, since you did most of the heavy lifting on this post.

Lukewarm Jonah: CM Punk will lose. We've covered that already, but in doing so, he will see the error of his ways and turn back into a face. He may even hit a GTS or lock on the Anaconda Vice on Paul Heyman. 

Predictions Leading Up To Wrestlemania 29

I spend way too much time thinking about professional wrestling. I say that as a 28 year old, fully functioning adult, who has seduced ladies in real life. I know that combination is surprising for many people, but pro wrestling is awesome. I have obviously waxed poetically about Antonio Cesaro before, but there is a lot of interesting things going on. The Rock is back. He won the title. CM Punk held the title for like a year and a half before that. John Cena lost every important match for a year straight. So what's going to happen next?

CM Punk is going to talk about how his title reign (even though he doesn't have the title, he still talks as if the title is still his) is the most impressive streak in professional wrestling. He will face The Rock at Elimination Chamber. In this match, The Rock will be close to winning, but then Brock Lesnar will attack him to help CM Punk win. Punk will hit his finisher, the GTS (Go To Sleep), but before he can pin him. The lights will go out. Undertaker will take out Punk, helping The Rock retain the title. Undertaker will then face CM Punk at Wrestlemania since his undefeated Wrestlemania streak is considered the greatest streak in professional wrestling.

John Cena and friends will beat The Shield at Elimination Chamber, because John Cena is now invincible. He will beat The Rock at Wrestlemania. They will hug after the match in a "passing the torch" moment. John Cena may not lose in 2013.

Don't feel bad for The Rock; Fast and the Furious Six will go down as the greatest movie ever made.

Kane and Daniel Bryan will continue to be Kane and Daniel Bryan. That's all the insight I have on those guys.

Antonio Cesaro is going to hold the US Title forever, because he's the best, and nobody will ever beat him outside of Ryback who has beaten him like three times in non-title matches. Hasn't Ryback earned a title shot yet? Apparently not. They just like to delegitimize their champions, which is dumb. Shit, Miz will probably win this title by Wrestlemania. But that will just open up Cesaro for bigger and better things.

Dolph Ziggler will face Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania. Brock Lesnar will take on Triple H.

Alberto Del Rio will beat The Big Show at Elimination Chamber. Dolph Ziggler will not cash in his Money in the Bank.

Mark Henry will win the Elimination Chamber to face Del Rio at Wrestlemania. Del Rio will win, only to have Dolph Ziggler run out to cash in his Money in the Bank. Wrestlemania is full of "smart" wrestling fans, and they will give a huge pop for Ziggler when he comes out to win the title.

My final prediction is the worst possible idea I could come up with that the WWE would actually consider: After John Cena and friends beat The Shield at Elimination Chamber, they become convinced that Cena is right and they are wrong. Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns will begin to dress in bright colors and be known as Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect.