The WWE Is Ruining... EC3

Why does the WWE hate EC3 so much? It’s the weirdest thing in that with limited exposure in WWE as Derrick Bateman, he still found a way to be very entertaining. Then, they released him, so he turned himself into a star as Ethan Carter III. Once he was a star for Impact, they resigned him again, and he immediately got over with the Full Sail crowd and was sent up to the main roster where he...sometimes chases the 24/7 Champion? I just found out in my research that he is actually a four-time champion. His reigns may not have lasted a combined minute, but four-time champion in the WWE is something that Roddy Piper can’t say.

But EC3 seems like a perfect WWE superstar. Good look, charismatic on the mic, probably only fine in the ring but definitely good enough. I like to take a look back and see how they have used guys. EC3’s last win on Raw or Smackdown was February 4, right after Dean Ambrose said he was leaving the company. They capitalized on that momentum by immediately having Ambrose get his win back the next week in under four minutes. His ONLY OTHER singles match on Raw was in September where he got beat by Rusev. It’s not like he’s been buried; it’s that they weighted him down and threw him to the bottom of the ocean, hoping to never see him again. He has been dealing with a concussion recently, but by far his high point of his time on the main roster was the one time Alexa Bliss briefly checked him out.

So my biggest way to improve EC3 is to...use EC3. Just putting him on television would be a great starting point. If you want to get fancy with it, you could actually let him talk on a microphone to accentuate his charisma, and eventually put him in a singles match with John Cena at WrestleMania. I mean, letting those two guys go at it on the mic is a perfect way to have a feud without Cena getting physical. That’s really not asking much, and using John Cena to put over a charismatic talent is probably the best use of both guys’ skill-sets.

EC3 vs. John Cena - Book it!

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles

Akam
Aleister Black

Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Angelo Dawkins
Apollo Crews
Baron Corbin

Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Bray Wyatt

Brock Lesnar
Buddy Murphy
Carmella
Cesaro
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Erick Rowan

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lacey Evans

Lana

Lio Rush

Luke Gallows
Luke Harper

Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Montez Ford
Natalya
Nia Jax

Nikki Cross

No Way Jose
Otis Dozovic

Peyton Royce
Primo

R-Truth

Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio

Rezar

Ricochet

Ronda Rousey

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shelton Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura
Sonya Deville

Tamina

Tucker Knight

Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder

Who Won the WWE's Superstar Shakeup?

Pro wrestling is still real to me, damnit. So I wanted to look at all of the Superstar Shakeups to see the reasoning that each show would have to make these moves. I matched up guys in the most logical sense, and then ranked these trades from least to most important, marking a winner for each trade. There were basically nine trades, so the least important will receive one point, and the most important receiving nine points to see whether Daniel Bryan or Kurt Angle (who might be kayfabe racist, but we’ll get to that later) is the superior general manager of their show.

9. Raw trades Jinder Mahal to Smackdown for Curt Hawkins
Kayfabe Logic: Here is how I imagine this conversation went.
Side A: I will literally trade this guy for anybody on your roster.
Side B: Anybody?

And so it was written, the jobbers switched shows to lose to different guys.

Raw Motivation: They get rid of Jinder Mahal.

Smackdown Motivation: They get rid of Curt Hawkins.

Winner: Raw, although maybe Smackdown if Jinder Mahal shares his fitness tips with the rest of the roster. (Raw leads 1-0)

8. Raw trades Tamina to Smackdown for Mickie James
Kayfabe Logic: Neither of these ladies were able to make it to the top in limited opportunities, let’s switch it up and see what they can do.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle’s been gone for a really long time. This may be the only women’s wrestler that he recognizes. He may have initially tried to trade for Trish Stratus, something that I endorse 100%.

Smackdown Motivation: I guess Daniel Bryan wanted more size on his women’s roster.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 3-0)

7. Raw trades The Shining Stars to Smackdown for Rhyno and Heath Slater
Kayfabe Logic: Rhyno and Heath Slater have fallen off the map recently, which is something you never have to worry about the Shining Stars, because you can always find them in Puerto Rico.

Raw Motivation: Rhyno and Heath Slater were over for a very short period of time. Will it happen again? Probably not, but being over once is more than The Shining Stars can say.

Smackdown Motivation: Daniel Bryan is interested in a timeshare in Puerto Rico? Daniel Bryan had already traded for Jinder Mahal and knew that he had to get rid of Heath Slater, so he could avoid 3MB chants when Drew McIntyre gets called up? Those are my two best explanations.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 6-0)

6. Raw trades Sin Cara to Smackdown for Kalisto
Kayfabe Logic: Raw wanted to boost their Cruiserweight division, and since Smackdown doesn’t have one of those, it made sense to get a bigger guy who also fills their affirmative action of guy in a mask.

Raw Motivation: Yeah, basically boost up the cruisers, because this is where Kalisto should have been the entire time.

Smackdown Motivation: Um, Kalisto framed Daniel Bryan?

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 10-0)

5. Raw trades Sami Zayn to Smackdown for Apollo Crews
Kayfabe Logic: Two tremendous wrestling talents that can’t seem to find a way to win on their current show, so it’s a challenge trade to see if either guy can reach their potential on a different night of the week.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle went from a guy in Zayn who talks too much to a guy in Crews who has never said anything memorable. Also, not sure if you noticed this, but this is the first white person that Kurt Angle has traded, and even Zayn is a Canadian. Actually, looking through the roster, he traded away one white American, every other person he traded was a foreigner or a minority, many times both. Meanwhile, Apollo Crews is the only minority that he traded for in the Superstar Shakeup, and every single one of his picks are Americans (not counting managers). I did not notice this until I got to this point when writing, and it’s got me shook. Kurt Angle is a kayfabe xenophobic racist.

Smackdown Motivation: Sami Zayn is basically new age Daniel Bryan, so this move couldn’t make more sense for their side.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 10-5)

4. Raw trades Rusev with Lana to Smackdown for The Miz with Maryse
Kayfabe Logic: I can’t lose a dude with a hot chick without getting a dude with a hot chick in return.

Raw Motivation: The Miz has been doing some of his best work and part of that should be attributed to Maryse who has really helped elevate the stakes for The Miz. Also, John Cena’s the biggest superstar in the WWE, so if you can’t get him, you might as well get his number one impersonator.

Smackdown Motivation: Miz couldn’t get the job done against John Cena, so at this point, is he really worth the hassle for Daniel Bryan? Rusev has more untapped potential than anyone in the WWE, as he’s legitimately one of the funniest people on the show, and he’s a hoss in the ring. That’s a nice return.

Winner: Raw. The Miz deserves it for what he’s been doing these past six months, but the only reason that people don’t think Rusev hasn’t been doing just as good stuff on the microphone (his promo where he called out Cass and E for calling themselves Big before calling himself Handsome Rusev belongs in the Smithsonian), just with a Bulgarian accent. Raw leads 16-5

3. Raw trades Charlotte Flair to Smackdown for Alexa Bliss
Kayfabe Logic: One former champion for another.

Raw Logic: Let’s face it. This had to be part of getting Mickie James for Tamina earlier. I love Alexa Bliss, but she’s no Charlotte.

Smackdown Logic: Uh, yeah, definitely do what you can to get Charlotte on the roster. I love Sasha an uncomfortable amount, but Charlotte has been the MVP of the Women’s division as long as it has been around.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 16-12)

2. Raw trades Kevin Owens to Smackdown for Dean Ambrose
Kayfabe Logic: This is probably the most straight forward trade, as each side is trading their secondary champion in order to mix things up. And yes, this trade should probably be listed as number one, but as a writer, I needed a grand finale, and the final trade is way more hilarious.

Raw Motivation: Getting Dean Ambrose means that they have all three former members of The Shield on their roster, which will lead to endless speculation about the Shield reforming.

Smackdown Motivation: They get a better pure wrestler for their pure wrestling show, and he’s also better on the microphone, and he’s also not Dean Ambrose.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown leads 20-16)

1. Raw trades The New Day to Smackdown for Bray Wyatt
Kayfabe Logic: Bray has supernatural powers, and The New Day have the power of friendship.

Raw Motivation: Here’s what Raw has going for it. Bray Wyatt could win the World Title and give Raw both of the top titles on their show, which is especially valuable since there ain’t no way Brock Lesnar is defending that thing on Raw. Also, while trading three guys for one may seem excessive, Bray keeps pooping out new members at random times, so maybe he can bring in The Drifter or a darker version of No Way Jose? I don’t know.

Smackdown Motivation: They got three guys for one, and now their show is no longer booty. Creepy cult leading Bray Wyatt was cool, supernatural, maggot loving, Bray Wyatt is stupid. I’m not even a big fan of The New Day’s work these past six months, but I’d still rather have Big E alone over Bray Wyatt. Getting Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods along with him is a massive win for Smackdown.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown wins 29-16)

Although Raw won the minor trades, when it came to the top talents, Smackdown dominated their competition, and I’m actually incredibly excited about the future of Smackdown. It’s been putting on much better shows for a while, but with the influx of talent they have now, they could blow Raw away, and that is definitely not booty.

The 41 Best Matches of WrestleMania 33 Weekend - 41-31

I am about five months younger than WrestleMania. After 30 years of being a wrestling fan, I made my first trip to WrestleMania out in San Jose/San Francisco for WrestleMania 31. It was pretty damn incredible. I know that makes me a giant nerd, and I am totally cool with that. Wrestling doesn't need to be cool, because it is hilarious and occasionally awesome. Two years later, it came to Orlando, and since that is less than two hours away, I knew that I would be making my second WrestleMania trip. Starting on Thursday, I saw WrestlePro, the WrestleCon Supershow, NXT Takeover, and of course, WrestleMania 33. Although I may be a nerd about wrestling, even I have to tap out after four nights of events, so I chose not to go to Raw or Smackdown. But I still saw a hell of a lot of wrestling, and here are the beginning of my rankings, working from worst to 31st.

41. WrestleMania - Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt

This match could have reached its ceiling of unmemorable garbage, but instead, they decided to be memorable which turned a boring match into a laughably bad match. I don't know what projecting maggots, worms, and cockroaches on the mat of the ring was supposed to do, but whatever it was, it didn't work, for the crowd or Wyatt. Honestly, at first, I was kind of angry about how bad it was, but looking back in a year or ten, I think I will be glad I could say I was there for one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling history. 

40. NXT - Peyton Royce defeated Aliyah 

This was a match taped for the weekly NXT show. Outside of Peyton Royce hitting a Perfect Plex, I remember nothing about this.

39. WrestleCon Supershow - Sandman def Joey Ryan to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship

I mean, I thought an active Sandman was as bad as that guy could look, but no, he looked far worse as he made his six minute entrance to the ring. By just walking by me, he made our entire section smell like a bar, which was kind of impressive. But he beat the King of Dong Style with one kendo stick strike to the head to become the new HeavyMetalWeight Championship.

38. WrestlePro - Chris Payne def. Tommy Dreamer

This was a Falls Count Anywhere match, and those are always kind of terrible, because you can't see most of the action. It's nice for the people in the cheap seats, but I ponied up the extra $15 for reserved seating, so it didn't benefit me any. I don't know, Tommy Dreamer has never done it for me, although he seems like a real nice guy. This match wasn't bad, but it was a nostalgia match where I didn't really care about any of the nostalgia.

37. WrestleCon Supershow - Joey Ryan defeats Swoggle to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship
This preceded the Sandman match, and it's higher just to see the highest of highs for Swoggle turn to the lowest of lows for him.

36. WrestlePro - CAQ def. Craven Varro

Craven was like a heavy metal rocker, as he had long hair, and was skinny enough to be on copious amounts of drugs. Speaking of, CAQ was a mental patient who barely felt pain. CAQ won to stay undefeated, so I felt like I was seeing the early stages of a Goldberg-like streak. 

35. WrestlePro - The Taboo Crew def. Team Espana and Apple Corps

I really liked the Apple Corps, get it, like the Marine Corps, mostly because they kept screaming Apple Corps, and I like when people yell easy things that I can also yell. But maybe the most important part of this match is that each team had a manager, and all of the managers got involved in cat fights, even though one of them was a fella in a cat fight. The Taboo Crew were also fun enough where I wasn't disappointed in their victory.

34. WrestleMania - Intercontinental Championship Match - Dean Ambrose (c) def. Baron Corbin

A lot of people wanted to majorly shit on this match, but I didn't find it offensively bad. It was a Dean Ambrose match, what did you really expect? It was fine.

33. WrestlePro - Beefcake Charlie won a Scramble Match

Well, the internet was not great at getting me the information on what guys were in this match, but Beefcake Charlie is a fat guy in a pink singlet, and because of that, he was a crowd favorite and deserved to win. there was also a guy that dressed up as a Power Ranger who probably had the most long-term potential in the match. This was a very good indy match for unknown guys, but it's kind of tough to compare to some of the top notch talent that was involved in a lot of the other matches.

32. WrestlePro - Tag Team Championship - The Heavenly Bodies def. Da Hit Squad

This was a fine tag match, where Da Hit Squad came out hot and destroyed everything in sight. Then they ran out of gas late in the match, and The Bodies were able to win. Still, the biggest highlight was Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions, LAX, coming out and wrecking house on everyone, and then Konnan cutting a promo. I'm never going to be mad at the K-Dogg showing up.

31. NXT - Heavy Machinery defeated The Bollywood Boyz 

These are two tag teams that I like way more than I should. Seriously, that Bollywood Boyz entrance where they mimic a camera is amazing. Also, if you can't get behind Heavy Machinery, I don't want to be your friend. Fat guys doing fat guy stuff and having fun with it will always put a smile on my face.

The Ultimate WWE Fantasy Draft - Review

Now that we have completed the ultimate WWE fantasy draft (Part one, part two, and part three), it's time to figure out the most interesting picks and hopefully get Jonah to admit my dominance in fantasy wrestling drafts. We had a long conversation, and shockingly, nothing was decided, but here are our thoughts.

Joe: Jonah, the draft is over, and I think you feel good about your roster, and I know I feel good about my roster. But the question that I'm most curious about is at the top. Did I make the right decision with Seth Rollins?

Jonah: Rollins is a good pick to have as the face of your brand.  He's got the look and the in ring skills of a star and gets a reaction from the crowd.  I feel like his heel work has been a little one dimensional but in the near future he will show whether or not he can be a little more original.  If you were in my position and rollins was off the board would you have gone with the other two shield members or gone a different way?

Joe: I did have Reigns in my top three, but I am super low on Dean Ambrose compared to most people. I understand that people really like him, but I knew there was no way I was going to end up with him in this draft. No, instead, the guy that I had at number two, and has the best argument to be number one is the doctor of Thuganomics, John Cena. I didn't take Cena with my next two picks, because right before I was about to pick him and Cesaro, I flashed back to Cesaro and Sami Zayn matches and realized that I couldn't separate those two. Why did you let Cena keep falling?

Jonah: Age and fear of injuries.  He's been banged up for a long time.  Also love for Kevin Owens.  He will be wwe champ within the year.  He does everything so well.  He's consistently the best week in and week out.  AJ Styles is fresher in terms of the wwe.  Basically anyone he faces off with is a fresh match people want to see and I think he's incapable of putting on a bad match.  Cena was next on my list I just had those few guys rated ahead of him.  We both love Brock Lesnar but are you worried you used such a high draft pick on someone that may wrestle one or two matches on your show at most?

Joe: Cena is a freak when it comes to injuries, so I'm not too worried about that. Also, he is BY FAR the biggest star in the WWE. And we really shouldn't forget that Cena had his best year as a wrestler before his injury. He often had the match of the night when defending the US Title, and the guy is a star who does a ton of charity. We hate John Cena, because we realize he is who we want to be.

I love Kevin Owens, but I think that his body does make him a tough sell to a casual wrestling fan. And AJ Styles is a great wrestler, but his potential is not leading a company.

As for Lesnar, he may only wrestle once or twice on Raw, but he's got 4-6 matches in PPVs, which will only happen with my guys. And I also get the benefit of Paul Heyman hanging around doing promos. And when Lesnar is wrestling, he is the main event (unless he's wrestling somebody shitty like Dean Ambrose, ZING). How far would you have let Lesnar fall? Also, out of your top 10 picks, who do you think was the best value?

Jonah: Hey I'm not hating on John Cena, I would have taken him if you didn't in the next round.  He does seem to be moving down the card a bit, but it was a great pick.  I do disagree on AJ, he carried TNA on his back, and I know they've become a complete joke but they were a decent company for awhile and that was the time that AJ was employed by them.  Lesnar likely wouldn't have fallen past my next two picks, I was just thinking that he doesn't wrestle on free tv, which does make it a little tougher for him since we're drafting for shows.  Paul Heyman, personal friend and follower of The Jonah Show is always entertaining.  I really like my top 10 picks, so it's tough to pick one.  Randy Orton is a veteran star who has been main eventing for a decade.  Rusev should already be in the main event, but he's working his way up due to terrible booking.  The New Day may be the best pick for me out of the top ten.  Big E will be a main eventer for at least a decade.  Kofi and Xavier are entertaining as hell, and they're both great in the ring too.  Kofi's a veteran who has been in main event feuds and shown he can hang.

So Joe, you were the first to pull the trigger on the women's division.  Why did you feel that was the right time to take the two women, and why was Charlotte your pick?  Everyone understands that Sasha is the best so I don't need any explanation on that.

Joe: On why I chose the women when I did, it was actually interesting, because you came to me with this idea, and about ten minutes later I was ready to draft as I just quickly ranked everybody. On my original list, I had New Day over Charlotte and Sasha, but when it came time to draft, I went with the ladies. Part of that is that picking Kofi and Xavier that early when I had never cared about them before had me very concerned. I felt like Big E was worthy of that pick, I mean, he is a Hawkeye, but New Day is starting to lose its luster, and even though they are still great, I don't know where things go for them in a year. I also factored in positional scarcity, and it was clear that this was the right choice. These two are a clear cut above everyone else in the division. Sasha is obviously phenomenal; I mean, I'm 31-years-old and cannot help dancing every time her music comes on. It makes me feel like a Boss. And Charlotte is so good in the ring that she has gotten two great matches out of Natalya (Takeover and Roadblock), and Natalya is only slightly more useful than a wet fart. And Charlotte is still getting better in the ring, and she's taking some baby steps on the mic. I feel like with these two picks, all I needed to add were warm bodies, and I would have the more entertaining women's division. Obviously, you're going to feel different, so what are your thoughts on your women's division?

Jonah: Well, I agree that Sasha is the absolute best, and that her music is the absolute best.  I feel she is head and shoulders above everyone on the main roster.  Charlotte is very talented in the ring, but honestly dreadful on the mic.  It's not that Charlotte is a bad pick, I just feel that she is equal to Becky Lynch.  The only difference between the two is a push.  Becky is just as talented in the ring, and she's better on the mic.  I was able to get Becky more than 10 picks later.  I was concerned about the strength of your women's division, but I feel like mine stacks up well against yours.  Becky is at worst equal to Charlotte, I later got Paige who is the true catalyst for the women's revolution.  She came in, wrestled like a champ, and demanded attention.  She's just been lost in the shuffle for some reason, that reason being the WWE writing team can't book more than two women's feuds at a time or else their heads will explode.  I'm far from a big Nattie fan, but she does put on quality matches the majority of the time so she's very useful.  Nikki Bella is underrated in the ring because she's a Bella.  She's not a horsewoman, but she puts on good matches.  Alicia Fox and Naomi are underrated and underused, but plenty talented enough.  Tamina isn't that special, but she's a good enforcer in the women's division.  My women's division is deep and talented.  I feel like Chris Jericho fell further than I would have expected.  Is there a reason you didn't want him?

Joe: First off, you owe me a new laptop, because saying that "Becky is at worst equal to Charlotte" was so laughable that I did a spit take and now my monitor is covered in smoothie. I'm hoping you don't believe that, because nobody in the world thinks Becky is equal to Charlotte. Becky is really good, but Charlotte is the Brock Lesnar of the Women's division. She's bigger, stronger, and more athletic than any woman they have. Becky Lynch is good, but she's more on the Paige/Emma level than the Sasha/Charlotte/Bayley tier.

I mean my reasoning behind not taking Jericho is that his schedule is inconsistent, and he's not around long enough to truly have a compelling feud, because you know the other guy is going over. This is the longest he's been around in what, five years? He's not a full-time wrestler, and although this iteration has been great, it started out with him calling New Day "Rooty Tooty Booty" and proceeding to spend the next month defending that as genuinely funny. Jericho has been very good, but he can also be very bad. With the limited schedule, I didn't think the risk was worth it.

Speaking of part-timers, how early did I jump the gun on The Rock? Keep in mind, there is at least a one percent chance that he gets Vin Diesel to show up with him one time.

Jonah: Well now my feeling are hurt, I do think Becky is equal to Charlotte.  Charlotte is a great wrestler, but she is awful on the mic.  Maybe Brock Lesnar is a good comparison.  He's awesome in the ring, but he's not a great promo.  Jericho seems like he's back for awhile and he's been doing great work.  His first feud with The New Day was terrible, but he's been money since.  My love for the Rock is well documented, but it was too early for him.  If you're lucky he shows up twice a year and wrestles one match, again not on free tv.  I hope he brings Vin Diesel with him, I'd buy them as tag team champs all day.  He's the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, but I'm pretty sure he's got 18 movies to film with Kevin Hart, he's going to be busy.  Speaking of part timers, how long do you figure Shane is sticking around?

Joe: I don't know how involved he will be, but I'd be pretty surprised if he wasn't back with WWE, at least on a part-time basis, and the more they talk about it, I think he's likely to be fairly involved. It was also at this point where nobody has huge potential on the wrestling side. I'm a little bummed I missed out on Tyler Breeze. Any picks that stand out for you in part two of the draft?

Jonah: I do love Tyler Breeze.  I see that I took Titus O' Neil very early, but I think he's got a ton of potential.  Do you think his recent push is because the WWE reads our columns?  I'm also very happy with my pick of Fandango.  That guy can wrestle and he's all charisma all the time.  I think he's a great value.  I like your pick of the Vaudevillians.  So who's your favorite Social Outcast?  Which on of them will you book as the breakout star of the group?

Joe: Yeah, The Vaudevillains were a team that just kept falling, but they're both fun in the ring, and Aiden English having the ability to sing is something that that could be a huge help in getting them over. As for my favorite Social Outcast, Heath Slater is great at what he does, taking beatings in an entertaining way, Curtis Axel is hilarious, even if it is sometimes unintentional, but the cream of the crop is Bo Dallas. I know it's been two years, but Bo Dallas may be the best promo in NXT history. He was the absolute best, and despite being buried since being called up, he still gets a reaction. He is a FAR BETTER promo than his brother, as Bo could actually keep things fresh, and Bray is as stale as it gets. 

Moving on, I was the guy to jump on the non-wrestlers and lock down my announce team of Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves which could be the steals of the draft for the impact they will have on my television product. I'm interested to hear your plan as Booker T only does occasional PPVs with his schedule, and Renee is pretty rough with announcing matches. So Jonah, what the hell are you going to do with your announcers that will not make me want to change the channel?

Jonah: Renee Young might as well be El Dandy because I will never doubt her.  I think she'll be great.  Even if she's not, she's still a great interviewer.  I have Michael Cole who is the voice of the WWE, so that's a solid announcer.  Tom Phillips has been good in NXT, he plays off Graves well and his delivery helps Graves stand out.  Byron Saxton is already a RAW announcer, he's not very good, but he's good enough to talk on the flagship show every week according to the WWE.  With just those three I have plenty of announcing talent.  Don't forget I also have Funaki, the number one announcer, plus Jerry Soto on the Spanish announce team.  So your superstar women's division includes wrestling legends like Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes.  How can you make them not complete wastes of space?

Joe: Step one: Put Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes in an hour long Iron Woman Match.

Step two: Start the match and let the crowd reign down with boos.

Step three: Brock Lesnar's music.

Step four: Annihilation

Outside of that, Eva Marie has become serviceable in the ring. She's still bad, but if you told me I had to watch an hour of Eva Marie or five minutes of Natalya, I'm All Red Everything. Rosa Mendes dated Gary Barnridge a couple years ago, so I will use her to identify fantasy football sleepers.

I don't really feel like doing a deep dive into the end of this thing, so who was your favorite pick, and who were you most disappointed about a guy that you weren't able to get?

Jonah: Well I know you'll disagree with this, but Bray Wyatt at 22 is an awesome pick.  Despite terrible booking he still matters and is still over.  If they put the slightest effort into him he'll be a main eventer.  He's also very good in the ring.  I was disappointed I missed out on Neville.  That guy is awesome, hopefully when he makes his return they'll stop booking him into obscurity.  I thought he'd last longer.  What about you?  Who was your favorite pick and who are you sad you missed out on?  

Joe: I mean, the big thing for me was how things fell for me at the beginning of the draft, as I got five of my top six rated guys, only missing out on Roman Reigns. But for deeper down the list, picking Apollo Crews and Neville back-to-back was a real highlight and I was also really happy to get Emma as she has been incredible since going back to NXT. I'll be excited to see her come back from injury. 

The biggest guy that I missed out on was Rusev, as he's just so damn cool. If he didn't have a Russian accent, he'd already be in the main event scene, as he's legitimately one of the five funniest people in the WWE. Some of the later picks I would have liked to get are Tyler Breeze and Darren Young with Bob Backlund. Backlund during an election year should prove to be entertaining.

But that'll wrap up the main roster talk. Next week is NXT Week where Jonah gets that coveted first overall pick.

The Ultimate WWE Fantasy Draft

With Smackdown moving to a live show on Tuesdays, there are plenty of rumors about an upcoming brand split for the WWE. Instead of waiting for the WWE to pull off a disappointing draft routine, the ultimate tag team, Lukewarm Jonah and Hott Joe, came together this past week to have an old fashioned WWE Fantasy Draft. Our goal is to create the best possible roster to create a successful, moneymaking product.

Some things to know before we get started is that you draft guys for what they are likely to do in the future. The Rock is in this draft, but you don't get to draft him as a full-time wrestler, but he can be used 1-2 times a year to talk for a half hour and boost ratings. Another thing is that wrestlers automatically got their managers with them, so Miz comes with Maryse. Also, tag teams must be taken in pairs, and they must be taken with the first of your two back-to-back picks since we did a snake draft. For New Day, they would take up the person's next three picks, but they would stay together. And to create this list, we used the list of WWE personnel on Wikipedia, so our main roster included 118 picks. And that does not include NXT Superstars (Supplemental Draft) or Mr. McMahon, who is ominpresent for our purposes.

Since Jonah is a true gentleman, he offered me the first pick, and from there, we will have two picks each through the rest of the draft. Let's get it going with part one.

1. Joe selects Seth Rollins
Is this a homer pick? Well, I do share a hometown with Rollins, so you could say so, but he's the best pick to go with if you are creating a brand. He's shown he can be a top heel, and I think people forget how good he is in the ring, because he hasn't been held back from shining. The only thing that's held him back is that he actually wrestled like a heel so he held back from some of his most entertaining moves. There's nobody I'd feel more confident in leading my brand.

2-3. Jonah selects Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose
With Rollins gone, I went with the other two members of The Shield.  Sure Roman Reigns is getting booed into oblivion, but he’s already been in two Wrestlemania main events and just needs to be booked correctly, and I’m just the man to do it.  If you don’t believe me read the article I wrote about how to book Roman Reigns.  Dean Ambrose is super over.  He’s been putting on better matches recently, honestly he’s not my favorite guy but the crowd absolutely loves him, he cuts a great promo, and I feel his in ring work has really stepped up in recent months.  Plus these two fighting each other once Reigns turns heel is a Wrestlemania worthy main event.

4-5. Joe selects Cesaro and Sami Zayn
So Jonah took the other members of The Shield, which was fine by me. I'm not a Dean Ambrose guy, and the internet seems to hate Roman Reigns, so I went with a couple guys that the internet loves in Cesaro and Sami Zayn. Let's not forget that these two may have had the best match in NXT history with their 2-out-of-3 falls match. I actually had Cena and Cesaro ranked highest on my list, but I couldn't resist the chance to pair Cesaro and Zayn, which basically means that I'm going to have the best main events imaginable.

6-7. Jonah selects Kevin Owens and AJ Styles
Joe taking Cesaro and Sami Zayn hurt, but I just like Joe too much to steal Cesaro from him with one of my first two picks.  Zayn is awesome, but I would put Kevin Owens ahead of him.  The work he’s done is main event level.  I gave serious thought to picking Owens with one of my first two picks so I’m very happy to get him here.  AJ Styles is older, but still very fresh in the eyes of the WWE and they’ve already made him a main eventer.  Styles has already had amazing matches with Reigns and Owens, he can fight anyone, put on a fantastic match and the crowd will care.

8-9. Joe selects John Cena and Brock Lesnar with Paul Heyman
Needless to say, I was pretty happy to get the face that runs the place with the eighth pick in the draft. He probably should have been the first pick in the draft, but I'll gladly reap the benefits. There are so many John Cena haters that people forget that he is BY FAR the biggest star in the company and also puts on great matches when he is up against great wrestlers. To top it off with Brock Lesnar who I would watch wrestle anybody and I get the services of Paul Heyman makes it well worth it, even if Lesnar is only around about a third of the year. Just think about Lesnar vs. Cesaro or Sami Zayn, or a triple threat match, or a fatal fourway with Rollins. Oh man, I'm fantasy booking my fantasy wrestling team; this may be nerd overload.

10-11. Jonah selects Rusev with Lana and Randy Orton
Obviously both Cena and Lesnar were high on my radar.  I’m a little worried about Cena returning from this injury.  He’s getting up there in years, but if he was here I definitely would have taken him.  Same with Lesnar, but I went with year round top performers over the great Lesnar.  Anyways, Rusev is awesome.  The guy is one of the most entertaining promos in the company, he looks like he could kill you, and he puts on good matches.  He should already be in the main event and he will pair nicely with all the other talented, entertaining guys I have on my roster.  Lana is a nice plus, she’s shown athleticism in the ring, and was super over before they turned her American then back to Russian.  Randy Orton is a well known veteran.  He’s pretty solid in the ring, and it’s good to have a veteran presence on the roster.  Really he’s been presented as Cena’s equal and rival for a decade.

12-13. Joe selects Charlotte and Sasha Banks
This is where having back-to-back picks can either set you up or absolutely kill you. I took the top two women's wrestlers and instantly made my division dominant over his, no matter what he is able to acquire from here on out. I, like the rest of the internet, love Sasha Banks, and Charlotte is an absolute freak. I knew I was setting up Jonah for his next pick, but I felt like locking down women's wrestling was worth the risk of being Booty.

14-16. Jonah selects The New Day
I was sad that Joe took Charlotte and Sasha, or really, just Sasha.  Here’s the thing about the New Day though, Big E is a future world champion.  Great look, tons of charisma, great matches, it’s pretty simple.  Kofi has been solid for a decade, and Xavier Woods went from being absolutely nothing to being part of the best group going today.  He’s still plenty young and can go in the ring, I’ll book him a new, cooler looking finisher and he’ll be good to go for years.

17-18. Joe selects Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio
It's really tough to argue with anybody in the top 16 picks. They're the biggest stars in the company. I selected Dolph Ziggler, who could be higher and could be much lower, but it's Dolph Ziggler, and even though it's been a little more miss than hit lately, he has the potential to rising back up. Also, Ziggler/Lesnar sounds like an incredibly fun match to me (Note: Lesnar/Insert Wrestler Human Here always sounds great to me). After that, I went with Alberto Del Rio, mostly because I remember how totally awesome Alberto El Patron was, so I know what kind of incredible potential he has.

19. Jonah selects The Miz with Maryse
I am a big fan of Dolph, and have a “Saving Dolph Ziggler” booking article working, but he just didn’t fall to me.  The Miz is really underrated.  I’m not sure how he’s been able to do it, but he’s been a main eventer, mid carder, and jobber, and really he does them all well.  He’s a veteran who can work with anyone and actually put on decent matches.

20-21. Joe selects Enzo and Big Cass
Enzo is the type of guy that could go into a monastery and get the monks to cheer for him. You can't teach that.

22-23. Jonah selects Bray Wyatt and Sheamus
The previous pick was the realest pick in the room.  I waited a little longer on Bray Wyatt than I normally would have knowing that Joe doesn’t like him.  The Wyatt family was about to destroy the League of Nations before Wyatt’s injury and it was the first time anyone made any noise during a League of Nations segment.  Wyatt is a guy I genuinely believe will be a main eventer, just needs a little bit of a gimmick change.  Whoops sorry Sheamus don’t read that sentence about how much the League of Nations suck.  Sheamus is still a multiple time world champion, including as recently as just a few months ago.   He’s a big brawler, should be a good heel, but for some reason generates no heat.  My booking team will fix that.

24-25. Joe selects Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
So far, Gallows and Anderson have been fairly pedestrian. They didn't get the best feud as they are more of a sideshow than a main attraction. Still, there is no better bad guy tag team to have around, so at best, you can run them as champions, and at worse, they are enforcers who just come in and kick ass.

26-27. Jonah selects Kalisto and Becky Lynch
Kalisto should be the new Rey Mysterio.  Instead they’ve been having him wrestler super boring matches against big guys.  I’ll have him fight guys who can keep up with him and sell millions of Kalisto masks to kids.  Becky Lynch is as good as Charlotte.  There I said it.  I know Charlotte’s the champ, but Sasha is the cream of the women’s division in the WWE now, and Charlotte and Becky Lynch are 2A and 2B.  Lynch is as good in the ring as Charlotte, and it may just be me but I’d rather listen to Lynch’s accent then Charlotte shout random words during a promo.

28-29. Joe selects Apollo Crews and Neville
It was at this point where I realized how stupid deep WWE's roster is. I know they have some injuries, but how are they struggling to fill three hours with this many great wrestlers? I'm not totally sure what they are doing with Apollo Crews, but I think that there is no wrestler who would benefit more from a brand split. Hopefully they continue his feud with Sheamus, as even in a loss, it could help elevate him. Neville is basically a better Kalisto without the mask; people forget that. Had he not gotten hurt, he could have truly elevated things in the Ladder Match at WrestleMania, but he could be a ton of fun against just about anybody on my roster.

30-31. Jonah selects Chris Jericho and Paige
Jericho really went later than he should have.  His work since he’s come back is his best in years and if you don’t believe that then you’re a stupid idiot.  He’s still very good in the ring, he’s always been great on the mic, and he can host the Highlight Reel.  He’s back to put wrestlers over, but he’s still a recognized threat.  Pairing someone lower on the totem pole with him will elevate them even if Jericho wins to keep his threat.  Paige is awesome and has been buried for some reason.  She’s in her early 20s, and is still one of the top women’s wrestlers in the company.  Grabbing Paige after Lynch is my way of making sure my women’s division is legitimate.

32-33.  Joe selects Luke Harper and Triple H
Luke Harper = Great Wrestler; that's all you need to know. Triple H will probably be around as a wrestler for two months, but he can benefit everything by throwing his weight as an authority figure behind a younger wrestler.

34-35. Jonah selects Baron Corbin and Titus O'Neil
I was disappointed that Joe took Luke Harper.  Harper really should be the WWE’s new monster.  He’s like the old monsters except better in the ring.  Since Joe took Harper I needed to take Baron Corbin as my new monster.  Guy hates indy wrestlers, small wrestlers, whoever.  He’s got a bright future ahead and I love his entitled gimmick.  Titus O’ Neil is probably a bit of a shock, but I like what he does in the ring even though it’s not overly complicated.  His bark is entertaining to the crowd and he provides incredible PR.  You’re looking at the Celebrity Dad of the Year and he’s on my roster.

36-37. Joe selects Big Show and The Rock
These are my spectacle picks. Big Show is the largest athlete out there, and you can always use that to legitimize guys by temporarily turning him into a monster. I also drafted The Rock, because even though he is probably only showing up 1-2 times a year to cut a 30 minute promo, it will boost my ratings and brand appeal.

38-39. Jonah selects Kane and Braun Strowman
Joe took the Big Show, so I felt I had to strike back with Kane.  I’ll be honest, I’d book him both as the monster Kane and as Corporate Kane.  Two faces of Jacobs is almost as good as three faces of Foley.  He’s a veteran, has absolutely no problem losing to anyone, and was a very entertaining backstage figure.  Strowman is raw.  He needs time to develop.  However his size, strength, and intensity are a great base.  By keeping him with Wyatt for a bit, Strowman should be able to actually develop into another new monster.

That's all for part one, we'll be back with part two tomorrow.

Fantasy Booking the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

In my neverending quest to be employed by the WWE, I have come up with a new plan.  Not a lot of people know that Vince Russo started out his career by fantasy booking for the WWE under the name Vic Venom.  While I lack the racism and non-sensical writing style of Vince Russo, I feel I can provide well thought out stories that actually accomplish things like getting wrestlers over.  With that in mind I present my fantasy booking to be presented as a job application to the WWE.

I'm going to start it off with a bang and fantasy book the World Title scene.  The WWE needs this advice, I sincerely hope they take it.

I actually had to rewrite this a bit, but the main points remain the same.  Reigns continues to act like a tweener while people boo the hell out of him.  At Payback he and Styles fight a hard fought match where towards the end there’s a ref bump, Styles accidently catches the ref with a boot while hitting the Phenomenal Forearm.   Styles has him pinned but there’s no ref to count.  Styles tries to get the ref up then Reigns hits a superman punch.  All three men are down when Anderson and Gallows come out.  The crowd is going crazy assuming they’re going to attack Reigns and make Styles the champ.  Instead, they pick up Styles and hit him with the Boot of Doom.  They slide out, Reigns makes the cover and retains.  He gives Anderson and Gallows a confused look, then smiles.  All three men beat down Styles after the match and pose as the show goes off the air.

On RAW the next night, Reigns comes out with Gallows and Anderson and cuts a heel promo about how the crowd didn’t like him, so he went out and got two of their favorites from Japan, so how do you like him now?.  He goes full crazy and calls the group the New Shield.  Reigns then calls out Ambrose.  He says Ambrose is his brother and he wants him in the New Shield.  Ambrose says he still loves Reigns but he can’t support what he did, he can’t join his group.  The New Shield brutally beatdown Ambrose and hit him with a triple powerbomb.  Styles comes out to make the save and is beatdown too.  This sets up the next few months of main event program with Ambrose trying to take down Reigns, but eventually falling to the numbers game, even with Styles help.  Styles also gets his chances but suffers the same fate as Ambrose.

After a few months, Reigns is in the ring doing a heel celebration with his New Shield.  Ambrose comes out on the ramp with Styles and challenges Reigns to a multiman tag team match where if their team wins, they get a Fatal Four Way Match for the title in Hell in A Cell.  Reigns cockily responds that it doesn’t matter who Styles and Reigns find in the back, no one can hang with the three of them.  Cue the hard hitting guitar and out comes Seth Rollins.  They go down and clear the ring.  The crowd goes nuts.  When the match happens, Rollins is the equalizer that Ambrose and Styles have been looking for and Reigns is pinned after a curbstomp.  This sets up the main event at Summerslam, a Fatal 4 way for the WWE Title inside Hell in A Cell.

Reigns is entrenched as a heel who is actually over, meaning that his eventual face turn will be actually well received.  It gives him a reason to turn heel which the WWE has needed for months, but they couldn’t exactly have him join the Authority since they were fighting each other.  It gets Ambrose in the main event where he belongs judging by the crowd’s reaction to him and keeps AJ Styles in the main event where he should be for the rest of his career.  Anderson and Gallows are also elevated as a clearly dangerous tag team that should be near or on top of the division for years to come.  Seth Rollins gets to make his triumphant return where he will clearly get a huge face reaction and you have a huge main event for Summerslam to push buys of the network.

I had written this before Anderson and Gallows had been interacting with Styles.  If I had complete control, there would have been no mention of the three and their history before Payback, making their appearance more of a surprise and more of a big moment.  Now it seems that Anderson and Gallows will almost definitely be involved in the match in some form, but you can still follow the story the rest of the way and make sure that everyone involved is elevated.

Breaking Down The Betting Odds For WrestleMania 32

It’s the most wonderful time of the year as I, Lukewarm Jonah, make a surprise return to tag team with Hott Joe and dole out WrestleMania betting advice.  According to Suze Orman, this is the year to get rich off betting on predetermined outcomes, so let’s get going.

Streetfight:
Brock Lesnar 4/9
Dean Ambrose 9/4

Jonah: Let’s start it out with a good old fashioned streetfight.  “Crazy” Dean Ambrose taking on “Man built specifically for hand to hand combat” Brock Lesnar.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been going back and forth on who is going to win this match.  It makes sense to have Ambrose win and really elevate him to the main event scene.  It also makes sense to have Lesnar win because he’s Brock Lesnar.  I’m taking the favorite Lesnar here, with the old “Ambrose looks strong in defeat”.  I guess go for a Bret Hart/Steve Austin type finish where Ambrose won’t quit but the ref stops it.

Joe: So, it's a Street Fight? Anytime I hear that term, I always think back to the Road Warriors challenging Lex Luger and Sting to a Chicago Street Fight. Luger accepted the challenge and then asked Sting, "What's a Chicago Street Fight?" Lex Luger was a really great heel before the nWo showed up. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, Ambrose and Lesnar. I'm going to take Lesnar as he's kind of reached the level that you should always bet on him, because it makes no sense for him to ever lose.

Team BAD and Blonde vs. Total Divas
Team BAD and Blonde +340
Team Total Divas -400

Jonah: It’s a thrilling preshow match with women who don’t like each other for some reason.  In the buildup to this match I thought Team BAD and Blonde would win and I’m sticking with that prediction even though they’re underdogs.  Lana was the featured diva in this buildup so I think her team wins with her getting the pinfall.

Joe: You're wrong, dude, and I'll fight you about it. How dare you think Team Total Divas are going down. With Daniel Bryan, John Cena, one of the Usos, the guy with no body hair, and the big goofball on their side, there's no way these ladies lose. I'll take Eva Marie by pinfall over Lana with interference from Jeremy (I assume one of the dudes on Total Divas name's is Jeremy).

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles
Chris Jericho -105
AJ Styles -135

Jonah: Very surprised that this match is a pick em.  I’ve got to go with AJ Styles.  Styles has come in with a bang.  He’s over with the crowd and is putting on fantastic matches.  They’ve got a main eventer here if they don’t blow it.  Jericho has been really good in his most recent run, but he has no problem putting guys over and Styles is the smart safe pick here.

Joe: This version of Jericho is the best he's been in at least half a decade. The WWE finally found a good match with him, a true face that the fans love that can go out and have good matches. Jericho has always been entertaining in the ring, but he is somebody who could use a good counterpart. Still, I'm with you on this one. Crazy that this is a pick em, I mean, you've got to think that AJ Styles is due for his Fandango-level WrestleMania moment.

Women’s Championship Match:
Charlotte 7/4
Sasha Banks 1/2
Becky Lynch 7/1

Jonah: Joe and I have already talked a bit about this match, and it’s no surprise that the heavy favorite here is Banks.  She’s phenomenal in the ring, phenomenal at promos, and even has our favorite entrance music.  Whenever I’m feeling down, I just put that song on repeat and remember that I’m a boss.  The shock here is that Lynch is a 7/1 dog.  In my opinion, she’s the second most likely winner, I think there’s a much better chance of her winning than Charlotte retaining.  The evil heel who cheats to win will finally get her comeuppance on the biggest stage of them all and one of her Horsewomen running mates will be victorious.  I’m torn, I do think Banks will win, but there’s always some surprises at Mania and 7/1 are such sweet odds.  I’ll be boring and take Banks winning by theme song domination.

Joe: And I'm going with Charlotte retaining. If it was one-on-one with Sasha Banks, I would definitely take Sasha. But with the triple threat, Charlotte can beat Becky (likely by nefarious means) and brag about how great she is. And this sets up Bayley finally joining the main roster. She can lose her title to Asuka on Friday night, and then there is really no reason for her to be in NXT. She could debut at the following night's Raw, or she could even debut at Mania to make a save (I could see Becky turning heel and joining Charlotte if that were the case). There are lots of options, but almost all of them involve Charlotte retaining her title. Guess what? I had a change of heart. I'm picking Sasha to take the title. With rumors of a Women's Title replacing the Divas Championship, they need a new champion, and they could still do all of that Bayley debut thing with Sasha, but more as a badass face (Sasha) vs. beloved face (Bayley) confrontation on Monday's Raw.

US Title Match
Kalisto -140
Ryback +125

Jonah: The US Title match is close to a pick em, with Kalisto being a slight favorite.  This means you just need to pick whoever you think is going to win this match.  I’m going with Kalisto.  The WWE used to have a little guy who wore a mask and did cool moves.  It worked out really well for them before.  Ryback now has done a random heel turn that no one cares about as well.  Look out Kane and Big Show, there’s a new big guy who randomly turns face and heel.

Joe: I kind of like the idea of an entitled Ryback winning the title, because he "looks" like a champion. He's actually been kind of good in this role in that he's not mean, it's just the way that it is. Ryback wins after reading the entirety of The Secret and Kalisto falls asleep like a little baby and gets pinned.

Hell In A Cell For Control of Monday Night Raw:
The Undertaker 8/11
Shane McMahon 9/4

Jonah: This is my favorite match of the evening.  I mean look how many words it took me just to write out what was going on in this match.  It’s also my favorite match for making money.  I’m on Team Shane O’ Mac 100%.  I was shocked when I looked at the odds and saw he was an underdog.  I mean the only logical way for the story to progress is to have Shane win and take control of Raw.  He’s also got some secret to tell that he hasn’t spilled the beans on yet.  Shane wins via interference from Dolph Ziggler or Sting or Roadblock or someone and you get paid out at better than 2/1 on your money.  Here Comes The Money indeed.

Joe: I'm taking Shane as well, but I see a different ending. I think the logical move here is that Shane throws everything he has at the Undertaker, but he gets hit with the tombstone. As Vince celebrates and yells at Taker to pin him, Taker pauses, incensing Vince. Then Taker does the honorable wrestler thing and goes out on his back. Vince announced this would be his last match, so Taker goes out on his back, pulls an unconscious Shane over him to screw over Vince and give Shane control of Monday Night Raw.

How Is This Match Happening, Let Alone on WrestleMania?
The Usos 2/5
The Dudley Boys 7/4

Jonah: So, what an underwhelming match we have here.  I mean I guess the Usos are favorites because the bad guys have been getting the upper hand the whole feud.  They’ve been around for awhile, but the crowd is just so apathetic towards them.  I’m going upset Dudley Boys here, but the real question is, who cares?

Joe: I care. The Dudley Boys won a bunch of tag titles when I wasn't watching wrestling, and The Usos are fine, like I don't really get why they are any more popular than The Ascension, but they're fine. That is why this match is so important. It is a match. Oh, wait, I guess you're right. I don't care either. I'll pick The Usos to win with help from the entire cast of Total Divas (outside of the important people like Cena and Daniel Bryan).

The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal:
Braun Strowman 4/5
Bray Wyatt 5/1
Kane 13/2
Mark Henry 8/1
Randy Orton 8/1
Erick Rowan 25/1
Big Show 33/1
Samoa Joe 33/1
Bo Dallas 125/1
Curtis Axel 125/1
Damien Sandow 125/1
Fandango 125/1
Goldust 125/1
Heath Slater 125/1
Jack Swagger 125/1
R-Truth 125/1
Tyler Breeze 125/1

Jonah: So remember two years ago when this match started?  It was treated like a huge deal.  Now, it’s a preshow match.  It’s the Royal Rumble, but without any of the excitement or interest.  Anyways, I was hoping Strowman would be longer odds because he’s been protected really well and seems like a great guy to have win the battle royal and make himself important.  But I’m not picking the favorite in a match like this.  Samoa Joe is an interesting inclusion at 33/1, but I’m going longer odds.  I am legitimately picking Jack Swagger.  He’s been winning more, he and Mark Henry won a multi team match to be in the Royal Rumble and he was the face they chose to fight Chris Jericho in Canada.  It’s a great way to revamp a talented wrestler who isn’t very good on the mic, but still has a lot of years and is a good hand in the ring.  He’s probably one of five guys I’d pick to win the match and his odds are 125/1, I’ll take that all day.

Joe: I pick the same person to win this thing every year, and I don't see any reason to change now. Cesaro is scheduled to be on the European Tour that is right after WrestleMania, so he's either making a comeback at Mania or the next night on Raw. I think the next night on Raw is far more likely, but my heart will always pick Cesaro. Since he is off the board, and I'm supposed to help people win money, go with Tyler Breeze, because Breeze is fantastic and deserves to be treated as such (don't go with Tyler Breeze if you want to win money; go with Braun Strowman).

Tag Team Match:
The New Day 7/5
The League of Nations 1/2

Jonah: Wait a minute, The New Day are underdogs to the League of Booty?  Seriously?  I expected big odds the other way.  Honestly, I’m not sure why the odds are this way besides the fact that The League has lost so many times that maybe they’re due for a win?  But no, I’ll take the entertaining, charismatic group, over the half awesome half crap group any day.

Joe: Well, there are four of them. That should give them quite an advantage. I'm not sure what the end game is with this match. Like, who cares if League of Nations wins? Isn't that just a giant shrug from the crowd? And if New Day wins, we celebrate, but we don't actually care. This is a garbage match on paper, and there are a lot of fun guys in this match. I'm not going to just up and forget how much I love Rusev, but I can't really see any reason for New Day losing, so I'll go with the unicorns.

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match:
Kevin Owens 2/5
Sami Zayn 2/1
Dolph Ziggler 10/1
The Miz 25/1
Sin Cara 33/1
Zack Ryder 50/1
Stardust 50/1

Jonah: The dastardly heel who has been winning by the skin of his teeth is the overwhelming favorite?  Kevin Owens is a great character.  He’s a great wrestler.  He’s a surefire main eventer as long as they don’t screw it up, so it’s almost guaranteed that they’ll screw it up.  Anyways, I’m going with Dolph Ziggler.  I love Ziggler, but man they love to start and stop his pushes like crazy.  Still, Ziggler has a great chance of winning this match and he’s 10/1.  Too good of odds to pass up.  I do hope that Sin Cara, Zack Ryder, or Stardust somehow win the match, but that’s not very realistic.

Joe: If this were a one-on-one match between Owens and Zayn, then I would definitely be picking Sami Zayn to win the title. With everybody involved though, I do think Kevin Owens finds a way to retain. It only makes sense for Owens to retain, brag about it, but then get stuck in a one-on-one match with Sami Zayn where he finally loses the title.

World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Triple H 4/1
Roman Reigns 1/5

Jonah: Two years ago I made the mistake of betting against Cena when he was an underdog because it made sense in a storyline for him to lose.  Last year I made the mistake of betting against Triple H when he was an underdog because it made sense for him to lose.  I’m not making those mistakes again.  Against all wresting logic, against trying to get their own guy over, I’m going with Triple H.  If you don’t think that somewhere in Triple H’s mind he needs to go over at the largest attended WrestleMania in history then you have more faith in him than I do.  Maybe after he wins he’ll give him a condescending handshake and tell him “You did good kid” but Triple H somehow stands tall at the end of the night.  The other, much more likely scenario, is that Rollins comes down, Triple H thinks he’s going to help him win, but he takes Triple H out and The Shield reforms so that the crowd can cheer and go home happy and actually support Reigns.

Joe: Well, you stole my thunder with the surprise Seth Rollins appearance, but I do kind of expect that one to happen. There are a lot of rumors about him starting to work out in the ring, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was closer to coming back than people expect. Still, I don't really see the benefit of him helping either side at this point. So I'll predict that Roman Reigns wins, gets booed by the Mania crowd, and then gets attacked by Seth Rollins to huge cheers and everybody goes home happy.

Surprises You Can't Bet On:

Jonah: Dolph Ziggler will be involved in the Undertaker Shane McMahon match.  I think he’ll interfere on behalf of Shane, but it’s still possible he interferes on behalf of The Authority and turns heel.  Either way I think that makes him a good bet for the Intercontinental Title Match.  I’m also predicting appearances from Stone Cold Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels.  I mean it’s Texas after all.  Finally, my greatest prediction of all.  I believe GOP frontrunner, the possible next president of these United States, Donald Trump will make an appearance as well..

Joe: Although I mentioned an appearance from Cesaro, I'm really leaning towards that happening at Raw the next night. The return that I could see coming is the one I just mentioned with The Architect, Seth Rollins. Let's be real here; that main event match needs something to happen, and I think a Rollins run-in (back-to-back years) is just what it needs.

I'll also say that Sasha Banks is escorted to the ring by Snoop Dogg, and I think there is enough pomp and circumstance for her to have the best WrestleMania entrance this year (last year's winner was obviously Rusev on a tank).

My final prediction is that The Fabulous Freebirds attempt to show how not racist they are, but they do it in blackface, which ruins their intended purpose.

Happy WrestleMania everyone!

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: March 2016

This is all about positive, but just three months in, and the WWE is definitely challenging my patience. Absolutely nothing has happened in this last month, and still, I find myself incredibly excited for WrestleMania. They pull out all the stops for Mania, and when I look at the card, I do see great potential for every match on the card. I mean, even Ryback/Kalisto could be a lot of fun. For a reminder, here's how February looked, but now it's time to look at what happened in March.

1. Kevin Owens (Last Month: 4)
Owens worst nights are good, but man, when he is on, it is truly some incredible stuff he is pulling out. He's able to get good matches out of anybody, and his plan of having a triple threat of jobbers to get a shot at the Intercontinental Title was wonderful. Also, it brings up his poor history in ladder matches, as that is how he lost to Finn Balor for the NXT Championship. But this 7-way ladder match has me excited for everybody in this match (except for Sin Cara), and it's my pick for match of the night for WrestleMania.

2. Triple H (Last Month: Unranked)
I am a giant Triple H hater, you could even call me a HHHater, if you were so inclined. Still, he's had an important month. He took out Roman Reigns, had a nice feud with Dean Ambrose that ended in a really entertaining match. He had another entertaining match with Dolph Ziggler, and he's taken some Roman Reigns beatdowns along the way. Triple H has become a far more entertaining in-ring performer since he retired, and it's why I actually think the main event will be good, although I definitely think there are going to be some hijinks involved.

3. Dean Ambrose (Last Month: 7)
Ambrose has been on fire these last few months, and even though I have been down on him in the past, he's starting to make a believer out of me. He had a fun two-week feud with Triple H that further developed his character, not as a crazy person, but just as a tough dude who doesn't care about how much of a beating he's going to take. That sets up nicely for his feud with Brock Lesnar, where it is a street fight, and that actually adds a chance that he could beat Lesnar, especially as he has gotten help from hardcore legends the last few weeks. The only downside this month was his match with Braun Strowman, which was..not good.

4. Jonathan Coachman (Last Month: Unranked)
I am one of the world's biggest Coach marks. In fact, if you factor in my love for the 1990s sitcom starring Craig T. Nelson and Damon Wayans Jr.'s character on New Girl, I may be the biggest Coach mark. So yes, I was very excited to see Coach back on Raw, and yes, I also considered putting him at the top of this list, so consider putting him at 4 as me showing restraint.

5. The New Day (Last Month: 2)
I feel like the reason the New Day is this low is not that they have taken a step back, but our expectations have taken a step forward. There are rumblings of people getting tired of them, and I am not there yet. I still sit up and pay attention when they are doing something, but a 3 vs. 4 feud that doesn't seem to have any point outside of New Day becoming good guys just doesn't excite me in any way. And although it seems like it was months ago, I'm pretty sure they had their tag match against Jericho and Styles in the last month, and that was probably the best match this past month. New Day still rocks; their current feud though? Not so much.

6. Chris Jericho (Last Month: Unranked)
I am so happy that I can actually put Jericho on this list. I was a huge mark for Jericho growing up, but he has seemed to get less and less appealing every time he comes back. This most recent time he has found a good niche, and he's showing why he was so good for so long. The guy can still put on good matches, but with great character work, he can still be one of the most valuable assets the WWE has, even in a part-time role.

7. AJ Styles (Last Month: Unranked)
AJ Styles has been in a ton of good matches this month, and he's made a seamless transition to the WWE roster. Even though I'm enjoying this new version of Jericho, you already know that Styles has to win the feud, because Jericho is likely gone shortly after Mania. We'll see if he can take a step forward and get in a more prominent feud after that.

8. Sami Zayn (Last Month: Unranked)
I have made no secret of my love for Sami Zayn, but I still can't put him any higher than this for the month. I'm excited for what's going to happen, but I'm not necessarily excited with what has happened. Although Sami got a taste on Monday, so far he has just been chasing down Kevin Owens. Next month is when he likely catches him, and that's what I'm excited about.

9. Charlotte (Last Month: 8)
She has had some really good matches this past month, even having a really fun match with Natalya, someone who I usually do not care about at all. The thing that hurts the Divas division is that they have just drug things out and made them unnecessarily complicated. It's kind of the same thing everywhere, as they have to announce matches early enough to hype them for WrestleMania, but they struggle to keep things interesting in the weeks between the announcement and the match actually happening.

10. Shane McMahon (Last Month: 5) 
Makes the list for dropping that elbow on The Undertaker on Monday night. I'm still not really looking forward to the match, but I'm not dreading it as much as I thought I would be. That's a little thing called progress.

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: February 2016

Another month and more of the same from the WWE. I had a fascinating conversation with my brother after Fastlane. He enjoyed the PPV, where I could barely pay attention to anything outside of the main event. The reason behind this is that I watch Raw every week, and he hasn't watched Raw in months. The repetitive nature of just about every damn match on that card meant that nothing meant anything, but if it was fresh, it was probably pretty enjoyable (outside of the six-man tag, obviously). WWE has enough talent to have engaging storylines every week, but they don't give anything enough time to actually develop. They want immediate returns instead of planting the seeds for something great down the line, and that is why the product has been stale. But this is an article that celebrates what WWE does well, because it's too easy to do the opposite. Without further adieu, the 10 best things in the WWE for February 2016:

1. Brock Lesnar (Last Month: Unranked)
Anytime Brock Lesnar is on screen, I sit up and pay attention. Everything is brought to a higher level with his presence. He may not get the credit, but he might be the best professional wrestler ever. No, he's not the most technically skilled, but he could be wrestling anyone, and I would give it my full attention. I can't think of a single wrestler he wouldn't put on a great match with. Like, is anyone out there really saying they wouldn't LOVE to see him smash Hornswoggle? I'd probably get physically ill if he chose to destroy Bayley, but I'd watch, and deep down inside, a part of me would enjoy it. He not only put himself at the top of this list but also propelled the other guys in the match along with him.

2. The New Day (LM: 1)
The New Day still rocks, and even though they are likely on their way to becoming good guys, I'm still excited for their future. Feuding with The League of Nations would build some interest, because no other tag team is a viable matchup until American Alpha comes up and takes down everything in their path.

3. Roman Reigns (LM: 6)
It is very hard to be objective with Roman Reigns. Either you follow the WWE's lead and are convinced he is the super savior that this generation needs, or you're a smark who decides that WWE can't tell them who to like and only focus on what he doesn't do well. I'm somewhere in the middle, and closer to the former than the latter. Roman Reigns is fun to watch in his matches, and he continues to have really good matches on big stages. I'd rather appreciate what he does well than what he doesn't.

4. Kevin Owens (LM: 4)
He won back his Intercontinental Title in about the most meaningless way possible, and then he wrestled Dolph Ziggler for the 35th time this month. I still find him to be consistently entertaining, and I am hoping the WWE utilizes him to the full extent for WrestleMania.

5. Shane McMahon (LM: Unranked)
I was never a big Shane O'Mac fan. He's fine and definitely the best wrestler of the McMahons, but he was by no means a good wrestler, just someone willing to take bumps, which, admittedly, is more than I'm willing to do. And I can't say that I'm excited for his match at WrestleMania, because he's kind of old, and The Undertaker is even older. With all that being said, he made a hell of an impact in his first segment, and it did raise my interest in anything the McMahons are doing. I think the play here is that Shane McMahon puts up a good fight with Taker, and after Taker tombstones him 1-3 times, Taker lies on his back and drags Shane over him to purposely lose. That's the way you have to play this, right?

6. Sasha Banks (LM: 2)
She's still great. She'll put on an entertaining match with Becky Lynch next month before moving on to face Charlotte at WrestleMania. They may actually keep my interest in a two-month build, as Sasha was continually building towards things with her feud with Team BAD, followed by taking on Becky Lynch to prep for a match for the title. That is nice work.

7. Dean Ambrose (LM: 7)
Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar actually has me excited. Sure, it's more for the latter than the former, but still, I'm excited. Ambrose has been on fire these past two months where his wackiness hasn't just been stupidity, but he's more of a crazy person who won't quit. I could get behind that. Still, we'll keep him around here and stay cautiously optimistic.

8. Charlotte Flair (LM: 9)
Sure, she's no Sasha Banks, but she is an effective women's champion. She is the biggest, strongest, most athletic Diva they have, so it's very easy for her to be disliked. Her speaking is a little rough, but she still has the highest potential to do something insane with her athleticism, and she continues to be solid. This is good.

9. Bo Dallas (LM: 5, as member of Social Outcasts)
Bo Dallas breaks into his own this month, as he is always the highlight of the Social Outcasts. Sure, what they're doing is still essentially meaningless, but it's worth paying attention to which gives him an advantage over most of the roster.

10. Dolph Ziggler (LM: 8)
The WWE is bound and determined to make me less and less excited about Dolph Ziggler, but I'm not ready to quit him yet. He had some really good matches with Kevin Owens, but it just wore me down seeing it every week.

And that wraps up this month. Falling off the list is Rusev (LM: 3) who didn't do anything of note, and Sami Zayn (LM: 10) who disappeared after his Royal Rumble appearance.