I Would Make Love To Mrs. Renfro

Mrs. Renfro may be the sexiest woman in the world. This, despite me never laying my eyes on anything more than a picture of her. But just a picture of her basically makes her the Sunny of my adulthood (although hopefully less racist). And even though I have never seen her flesh, I have tasted her, and oh my, her taste is impeccable. But enough buildup, feast your eyes on this beauty:

I don't know about you, but I'm all boned up over here.

But let's get down to brass tacks, Mrs. Renfro's Habanero Salsa is the hot sauce that I use for all of my Mexican needs and even some other needs like burgers or straight snacking. It's amazing. It's got a good kick to it without making you feel awful, and the taste is absolutely delicious. It's the only hot sauce worthy of my fantastic meals, and it's at least partially responsible for my wife agreeing to marry me.

But that's not her only amazing product, as the Ghost Pepper Nacho Cheese Sauce should be banned for being highly addictive. The only place I have found it is at a Fresh Market, and even then, they were sold out 2/3 of the time, so when I did see it in stock, I quickly made sure that they would be out of stock by the time I left. Imagine the best nacho cheese sauce you have ever had. Now add ghost peppers. That is what this sauce is. This is what the song Hurts So Good is about, as the taste is amazing, and that burn keeps you wanting more.

I have very strong feelings about Mrs. Renfro and their amazing products (They have tons of stuff, but the only other thing I have tried is the Ghost Pepper Salsa, which is also great). So Mrs. Renfro representative, feel free to leave a comment, hit me up on Twitter (@HottJoe) or email (uncensoredwriting@gmail.com) and bless me with some product or some sweet swag, as I will gladly wax poetically or become a walking billboard for Mrs. Renfro and her wide array of quality products.

Natural Light, I Love You

Outside of the WWE, there is no #Brand that I have more affection for than Natural Light. I have waxed poetically about Natural Light here, here, and here. Oh, and also here. And how could I forget here? And then there's here. That should do it...wait, here's one more (there are actually more where I dropped in compliments; these are just the most prominent posts).

I love Natural Light. Nearly all of the most fun times I have had in my life have had Natural Light prominently involved. Is it the best beer I've ever had? No, it's not. But it is the best beer to have. It's perfect in so many ways.

It falls in this beautiful area where it's cheap but the Hipsters really haven't attached themselves to it. Not only that, but it's always easy to call out posers when they try hate on Natural Light. I have had this exchange every time I have Natural Light.

Poser: Natural Light, ugh, I can't believe you can drink this stuff.
Me: It's awesome beer, why is that so hard to believe?
Poser: It tastes like shit.
Me: Natural Light barely tastes like anything. You've never had Natural Light, have you?
Poser: Uh...
Me: Yep, that's what I thought.

AND SCENE.

Also, Natural Light is a great way to make friends. Good, salt of the Earth people have gone through some weekends of pounding back some Natural Lights. They may have lost their way as the years went on, but they are always excited to see a guy going to a backyard BBQ or Rose Bowl with 12 Nattys by his side.

Finally, I've mentioned this before (probably numerous times), but nothing bad happens when you drink Natty Light. You can have 1, you can have 10, you can have 100, and you can only reach a safe level of drunkeness that keeps you fully aware of the good times with the ability to impress the ladies.

I love Natural Light, and I want Natural Light to love me. I know that the good people at Natty Light Headquarters can't send me 30 packs as a gift, but I know they have swag. Sweet, sweet swag. Maybe a t-shirt, maybe a hat, or maybe a gi (which would be THE coolest thing ever), but come on Natty Light representative, show me some love. Hit me up on Twitter (@HottJoe) or by email (uncensoredwriting@gmail.com), as I have already pledge my allegiance but want to walk proudly in swag to let everyone know that I'm ALL NATURAL...Light.