Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Suits Power Rankings - Endgame

Last week, Harold came back and Harvey beat up Stephen. Now that they finally figured out the rights to Mikado, it is time to focus on smaller cases, like murder charges. There was one big case, as Louis went toe-to-toe with Harold, but we'll get to that later. Check out last week's rankings here, now onto this week of murder, betrayal, and rope climbing:

1. Jessica Pearson - Uses the Hessington Oil case to get out of their merger with Darby, if they can win the trial. Jessica brings over a bottle of booze to rebuild her and Harvey's relationship. And she uses her knowledge of their relationship to expose Cameron and Darby to do what she wants. She is getting her firm back, and she's clearly a pretty boss lawyer, as Darby had no choice but to stop practicing law in the United States with his plea deal. Jessica is back in charge and not taking shit from anybody. She won her firm, won the case, and probably just filled up that fancy bottle of booze with well whiskey that she obtained from Buckshots in Austin, Texas.

2. Cameron Dennis - Cameron does go after bad guys, but he needs proof from Harvey before he is going to do him any favors. It's always nice when a lawyer actually uses logic. He ends up putting bad guys away and winning. He still couldn't turn that into a partnership with Pearson Specter, but hey, a guy's gotta try. Cameron's love to win was definitely going to carry over to his celebration that night, and the lucky thing for the ladies is that in Cameron's Mustache Rides, everyone's a winner.

3. Harold Gunderson - Oh shit, he's back again. Louis tries to yell at him, but Harold grew a backbone, used some valid lawyer reasoning and straight up owned Louis. He then sues one of Louis's companies, just to rub Louis's face in it. Louis then thought he put Harold in his place, but Harold pulled one over on him. It was just nonstop ownage. Louis was trying to end Harold's career, but Rachel reasoned with Louis, so Harold got everything he wanted. I will be shocked if he is not given another chance at Pearson Specter. The only real question is whether they will change the name to Pearson Specter Gunderson. Harold gonna Harold, ya'll.

4. Donna Paulsen - She got her heart broken, but she gets to be the arresting officer for Stephen Huntley, so that's pretty cool.

5. Harvey Specter - Harvey found out that Stephen is a murderer, but he has no proof, so that is kind of an issue, except every person at Pearson Darby sees how clear the evidence is, but their proof is not law proof, so they must find proper law proof, you know, for the law. He calls Stephen to the witness stand. He starts getting somewhere, but the judge said he was on a short leash, and instead of pulling a Peter Bash and being arrested for contempt, he backs off like a real life lawyer. So everything completely blows up in his face. Still, him and Jessica come up with a plan to get Darby to bury Huntley, and they are barely able to hide their glee as Darby falls for it.

6. Mike Ross - Mike goes undercover to hang out with Mariga. He tries to use scare tactics on Mariga, but nobody like Mariga will ever be scared of a Mike Ross. After dealing with Mariga, being confronted by Harold barely altered his stride as he went on to the murder trial. Mike gets Clifford to help him, because Mike broke the law to get him out. If there is one thing this show has taught me, it is break the law all the time. Because if you do, somebody will owe you, and you can get a huge favor from them down the line. I can't wait to guilt trip my friends into killing someone for me, because I once ran a red light to get them food from McDonalds when they were really drunk. After winning the murder trial, Mike decides to sex Rachel after Harvey turns him down (this really happened).

7. Harold's Mother - Always so happy as she watches him work.

8. Rachel Zane - Rachel reasons with Louis early on, but that's a losing battle. Finally, she puts him in his place for being a bully to Harold. Why did she stick up for Harold? Let's just say that Mike isn't the only guy that she mixed business and pleasure with, except Harold dumped her when she tried stalking him. It got really bad. Finally, he changed his last name from Jakowski to Gunderson to avoid the harassment. Mystery solved.

9. Ava Hessington - Ava might be put in prison for murder, and she's not real happy about it, especially since she used to be Darby's pretend girlfriend, so Darby could use his power bottom to get some of that Papa Hessington Man Oil. Justice prevails in the end, but she still wasn't real happy. Lighten up, lady.

10. Louis Marlo Litt - Louis is back to abusing associates again, but that is only because he misses his true love, Mikado. Louis breaks into Harold's office and gives him the truth on why Harold got fired. This, of course, backfires, as Harold sues one of his companies. Finally, after Harold owns him a few times, Louis stops making it about business and starts making it personal to ruin Harold's career. Then we find out that he only did this, because he couldn't climb the rope in gym class, and Harold was actually an Olympic rope climber, but he would never show Louis the secret.

11. Edward Darby - Darby is a coward, because he didn't want to know how Stephen got things done for Hessington Oil. Then he lost the Pearson side of the merger, because he had to keep Ava out of jail for pretending to be his girlfriend during his gay sexcapades.

12. Stephen Huntley - Darby fires Stephen, because, yeah, murder is not good. But even worse, Harvey's fists apparently caused Stephen to get pink eye, so good luck picking up chicks with that. Still, Stephen does give a pretty good line to Jessica and Harvey when he says, "I don't give threats; I give've been warned." He then declined to answer a bunch of questions and made Harvey look like a bitch. Still, he decided to hang around the United States where he has no family, no friends, and no job. This gave the local police enough time to arrest him for murder. Whoopsies.

13. Colonel Mariga - Mariga is a wise man who is not intimidated by Mike. He then lies on the stand, because Mariga got paid, made, and as long as he doesn't get caught, laid. They never address that the new deal probably means that he is going to be sent back to his home country and murdered. For all of the talk about how they didn't want to see someone get killed, they seem totally fine with this guy probably going through some hellacious torture before he is killed. I don't think he'll be making another appearance on these rankings. 


  1. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you need to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Get your ex back with TEXT messages?