Thursday, March 20, 2014

Suits Power Rankings - Yesterday's Gone

Not gonna lie, Suits did not start off with a bang, outside of Harvey and Scottie, HEY-O! Still, plot lines are developing. There is love between Specter/Scott, Ross/Zane, and the hottest of all, Litt/Sass. But this was a week where the past is influencing the future. Still, I am always focusing on the future, which is why last week's top two picks don't even make the list this week. Scotty doesn't make it since she's in England, and Mr. Ross doesn't make it, because he's still been dead for 20 years. Now onto this week's rankings which are just in time to get you pumped for tonight's episode:

1. Mike Ross - Although this show is focused around Harvey and Mike, Mike rarely gets to shine and spend time at the top of the rankings. Right now, it's a damn good time to be Mike. He is smitten with Rachel, but he loves bubble wrap even more. It is always good to be comfortable enough to let your woman know that she is involved with a person with the mental capacity of a child. Mike is being harassed by Louis about his past, but he gives a crafty fake confession to Louis and at least throws him off the scent of the actual truth. Still, Louis wants to turn him in, but Mike stays optimistic, and sure enough, things end up working out thanks to an impassioned speech by Harvey. On top of that, Harvey didn't even deny that him and Mike are friends. Oh yeah, and to put a little caramel on top of his sundae, he cut out of work early with Rachel for a thorough evening of lovemaking. Not too bad for a child who plays with bubble wrap.

2. Harvey Specter - Gives a $12,000 bottle of scotch as a gift, so he can drink it himself. That is pure baller. Outside of that, he really took a secondary role this week. He helped Jessica see the error in her ways, and he tried to help Mike by threatening Professor Girard. That backfired, but he was still able to manipulate Louis with friendship. For anybody else, this would be a good week, but for Harvey, I expect more, especially since he let his slampiece ditch him to go party in Amsterdam.

3. Lisa - Or as Jessica referred to her, Li$a. But then, Lisa showed that she's not a money grubbing whore, she's just stupid. Still, she was able to keep the company and hopefully they will sell the drug to someone with the financial resources. Once she does that, the only ALS she will be worrying about will be her two cabana boys, Albert and Alfred.

4. Quentin - He's gone, but he's still driving ladies crazy. For him, ALS stood for All Ladies Succumb. Good work, playa, both with the ladies and the progress you made with a life-saving drug.

5. Rachel Zane - Are we sure that Rachel isn't just in this Mike relationship for the money? I'm not saying that in a bad way, but it just seems like it's a definite possibility. Rachel is a very logical thinker, and as long as Mike can keep his secret, he's going to make a shit-ton of money. By being Harvey's associate, he's on the fast-track to partnership. She comes from money, but that may just mean that she is used to a certain lifestyle that she is not ready to give up. Again, not saying it like it's a bad thing, but I could practically see the dollar signs in her eyes when she realized that Mike was okay.

6. Jessica Pearson - She was an emotional lady this week, as her ex-husband, who cheated on her, passed away. She blames Li$a for everything, and does some backhanded maneuvers out of anger. But then she talks to Li$a and realizes that her name is actually Lisa and that she is not a gold digger, and her heart is in the right place. Luckily, she then gets her strength back and totally owns Tim, the bad-haired lawyer and remains executor of the estate.

7. Louis Marlo Litt - It may be time to see Louis for what he is, and that's a sucker. He has a lot of bluster, but he is constantly manipulated by people, so he never is able to follow through on anything. He was played by Daniel HARDMAN, Nigel Nesbitt took away his associates, and Harvey constantly makes him aware that he will always be number two. This was his chance to exact some revenge. Louis had Mike, but he got manipulated, because although he loves his firm, he loves the law a little more. Although he loves honor and ethics, he loves friendship just a bit more. So, yet again, Harvey and Mike win and Louis is stuck sitting through a lecture from Professor Girard.

8. Donna Paulsen - Donna supplies wisdom to Harvey and Rachel, but again, she doesn't actually matter. I'm guessing that Donna has a blog. I bet every entry starts with, "You're not gonna believe what happened to me today..." and then just goes into other people's lives, because nothing ever actually happens to her.

9. Tim, The Bad-Haired Lawyer Guy - Pissed that he doesn't get to be an executor, but he should be more angry about that $5 haircut. He gets owned, but he didn't even seem surprised, as that is what happens every day. He seems like one of those nerds that brags about being a Michigan Man. Tim, you're never going to execute a will, and you probably can't even execute a backhand technique while pleasuring yourself in the shower.

10. Professor Henry Girard - This guy is the worst, and it really makes me wish Franklin and Bash went to Harvard as they may have given this guy a stroke with their shenanigans. He tries to clown on Harvey for taking settlements despite never practicing law himself. This would be like a baseball coach, who, mind you, has never played the game, going up to Mike Trout and laughing in his face at how awful he is for not hitting a home run every time. There is no honor in base hits.

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