Thursday, March 5, 2015

Suits Power Rankings - #SuitsFinale

And so we have reached that time, another Suits season is in the books. Since they split these seasons into small little bursts of episodes, I think this is the end of season 56. You can check out my recap of the penultimate episode here. It has been a great run, and there is no better way to pay homage to the best show about lawyers playing with my first ever power rankings done entirely in Haiku.

1. Harvey Specter
From hot shot lawyer
To being the grizzled vet
He has ev'rything.

2. Donna Paulsen 
Hunts for young lawyers
The best barista around
Never pays for drink.

3. Rachel Zane
No one respects her.
She tries exposing secrets.
Now she's got a ring.

4. Mike Ross
Has a hot GF
Decides to drop to one knee.
Uh, Mike, that's her job.

5. Marcus Specter
Just a simple man.
With a PokerStars account.
Damn offshore gambling.

6. Sean Cahill
Have you seen the cash?
Hey man, where's all that cheddar?
Can't find the money.

7. Charles Forstman
Screws people over.
"Shoe's gonna be on the other foot"
is what losers say.

8. Jessica Pearson
She's running her firm
Because that is all she's got
And lots of dresses.

9. Louis Marlo Litt
Louis has to grieve
Better to have battle-axe
Than just an axe wound.

10. Jeff Malone
A true mailman
Jeff knew how to deliver
Never on Sundays.

11. Eric Woodall 
Woodall has problems.
Joke about mental illness?
I think I will pass.

12. Norma
Norma, oh Norma
It is time to go to work.
Death is no excuse

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