Showing posts with label Rob Gronkowski. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rob Gronkowski. Show all posts

Friday, May 15, 2020

WWE Is Ruining... Riddick Moss

Riddick Moss has a record for longest title reign in the WWE. That would have been an unfathomable statement just three short months ago, but he quickly got called up to be Mojo Rawley’s bodyguard, turned on him in a matter of weeks to steal away the 24/7 title and held it for a record 41 days before losing it while jogging to R-Truth.

I do respect that he not only defends the title at all times but also wears it at all times.

Moss was the greatest athlete at the WWE Performance Center due almost entirely to the Riddick Regimen which is a combination of...well, they never really let that gimmick get off the ground so I’m not sure what it consisted of. But he is one hell of an athlete.

He’s shown flashes of personality, great athleticism, but has never really put anything together in the ring. He’s fine, but nothing he does stands out. Luckily, I have the greatest idea in history for Riddick Moss and a few other guys.

Moss will be in a stable with Titus O’Neil, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, Rob Gronkowski, Tino Sabbatelli, Babatunde, Dio Maddin, Cal Bloom, Dan Matha, and Omari Palmer (we lost a couple guys, but I think the WWE could bring them back with this billion dollar idea). They’ll be called The 11, and they will just talk about how nerdy pro wrestlers are and football players are better athletes and superior to pro wrestling fans in every way. Every time they win, they will do a super pose as if they just scored a touchdown. It will be aggravating and wonderful, and it takes 11 guys that nobody cares about and turns them into one of the most powerful groups in pro wrestling history.

Now that is a damn good use of Riddick Moss.


Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
Brock Lesnar
Buddy Murphy
Carmella
Cesaro
Chad Gable

Monday, November 5, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Mojo Rawley

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I am getting hyped to talk about the WWE's incompetence, but the question is whether I can stay hyped as I talk about Rob Gronkowski's best friend, Mojo Rawley.

Mojo Rawley is a bunch of charisma, but his wrestling prowess leaves something to be desired. He's basically like a big puppy stomping around with feet that are too big for his body. Sure it's cute, but there is only so much you can do when it's constantly shitting all over the place.

He's probably shown his best charisma as a heel as he can believably show disdain for flashy good guys who deserve beatings. But he doesn't have the technical skills or overwhelming power to be the believable badass that he would need to be.

I think he would be a perfect mid-level babyface in the 1980s. I know this may sound weird, but he basically reminds me of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. He has a lot of energy, not great in the ring, but he has enough charisma to get cheered as long as we occasionally remind people that he's friends with Hulk Hogan.

Now, obviously, I would like to make Brutus Beefcake the father of Mojo Rawley, but since I just did that last week with Norman Smiley and Alicia Fox, I probably shouldn't go back to that well just yet. Seriously, if I was on WWE Creative, my first response for any new character would be to make someone from late-90s WCW their biological father. My first recommendation would always be La Parka.

Okay, got a little sidetracked there. Back to Mojo Rawley. Since nothing stands out about Mojo Rawley to me, I think you just use him as a jobber to elevate more important talent. If you're looking to maximize Mojo, put him in a tag team with a great worker. If you kept him as a good guy, tagged him up with Sami Zayn, you could have a pretty great team where Mojo can just come in as the hot tag guy and dominate for two minutes while Zayn handles the heavy lifting. I do not believe this is the best use of Sami Zayn, so I'd keep Mojo as a jobber.

Since Rawley does not get my mojo rising, I consulted Lukewarm Jonah for his take on the situation.

The WWE is ruining Mojo Rawley.  He won the Andre The Giant Battle Royal when he eliminated Jinder Mahal.  If you had told me one of the final people in that match would be a world champion I would have guessed Gronk.  Then after that battle royal, they did pretty much nothing with him.  The WWE did something right with Mojo Rawley, turn him heel.  He was pretty unlikeable as a face, as his gimmick of I have a famous friend isn’t a great one to relate to the wide audience.  I got to witness heel Mojo before anyone else, at an NXT house show he worked as a heel and thrusted a bunch.  Just so much thrusting.  One thing his current character is missing is that thrusting.  Another way that the WWE could get Mojo over is by completely flipping his face character.  Face Mojo didn’t get hype, he stayed hype.  Heel Mojo should be as low energy as possible.  I suggest a saying of I don’t get melancholy I stay melancholy, or morose.  Then he could be Triple M, Melancholy Morose Mojo.  Also his entrance music should be The Simpsons Monkey pressing the computer and making it say “Pray For Mojo” set over “Melancholy and The Infinite Sadness”.  He also needs an NFL friend, but not Gronk, he’s too hype.  Luckily, there’s the perfect low energy NFL star who has tons of time on his hands, Jay Cutler.  Cutler can come to shows and look uninterested while Mojo wheels himself to the ring.  Cutler can also throw things at Mojo’s opponents to distract them, but he’ll hit Mojo about half the time, because he throws a lot of interceptions you see.  Super low energy Mojo will be a huge hit and get over like crazy, the crowd will boo like crazy when he low energy thrusts.
Yeah, it's probably best to make Mojo a jobber; it's up to the audience on whether they want Jay Cutler to be his manager or not.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox

Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston

Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce

Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

What It's Like To Attend an NXT Taping

So, although I have gone to a couple of NXT house shows since moving to Florida, I still had yet to make it to the promised land. That, of course, being the Full Sail Arena where the NXT tapings and Takeover events take place. Although I wasn't able to get tickets for Takeover (those things sell out fast), I was able to get general admission tickets for the tapings of the next four episodes of NXT. Instead of going over the wrestling I saw, I wanted to go over the experience of seeing NXT live.

Logistics
As I said, tickets for the Takeover events sell out super fast, but for the tapings, it wasn't too hard to get tickets. I think they had tickets up until about two weeks before the show. There is plenty of parking, so that was nice. Also, they allow you to bring in food and drink but no bottle caps. You would have a better chance of getting a gun in there than a bottle cap, but, like, don't bring a gun. Be cool, it's supposed to be a positive place.

The Arena
So I knew that the Full Sail Arena wasn't big, but it definitely looks better on the WWE Network than it does in person. The bleachers only go back ten rows, so it is impossible to have a bad seat. I thought the show started at 6:00, so we got in line at 5:15, thinking doors would open in 15 minutes, but it turned out doors didn't open until 6:00. We were still only about halfway up the line, but we ended up getting third row seats in the bleachers. Even had we shown up at 6:00, we still could have gotten quality seats, as it is a very fan friendly venue.

The Matches
Although I won't go into specifics on the matches, what I will say is that the show does a good job of going fairly quickly, considering they are producing about four hours of wrestling content (the backstage segments are not done during the tapings), as they go through matches fairly quickly, empty the ring, and start the next match. In between shows, there is maybe a three-minute break, so there is very limited down time. What I would say is that the matches were good, not great, as they save the big stuff for the Takeover shows. Still, the matches are fun, and as a fan of old school wrestling, it was nice to see a couple matches just set up to be the classic good wrestler vs. jobber squashes.

The Fans
The fans can basically be broken down into five distinct groups, which is more diverse than I would have expected. Anyway, here are those groups:

People Who Like/Love Pro Wrestling
This is the category I identify with and what I was expecting a lot more of. There were still a decent amount of these people who were just looking forward to watching some good wrestling, cheering the good guys, booing the bad guys and having a good time with it. We understand it is predetermined, but that doesn't mean we don't get lost in the moment from time to time.

People Who Like/Love WWE
I was standing next to an affable gentleman in line, and we got to talking about WWE, and it was pretty clear that we are very different wrestling fans. I like who I like, but this guy liked exactly who the WWE wants him to like. He's a Cena fan, and he thought his match against Rusev at Payback was the match of the night; I thought it was hot garbage. I liked the tag match from Payback, and I'm pretty sure this guy didn't give a shit about that match. Hey, to each their own. These are the fans the WWE wants, and they probably enjoy wrestling more than I do since their favorite wrestlers actually matter.

Super Smark
These people care about pro wrestling, but they, unfortunately, don't know how to love. Instead of embracing everyone for their individuality, these people are there to point out what is wrong. A wrestler got a "Headlock City" chant going, and someone near me yelled out, "That's a chinlock." Dude, the chin is part of the head, it's a form of headlock. There were also lots of people telling a returning wrestler who is not very skilled in the ring. Plenty of people told this guy how awful he was when he did anything, even when it wasn't bad, they had already predetermined that it was going to suck. These are not fun people to be around.

It's Still Real to Me, Damnit
The people who take wrestling way too seriously. I had one of these super fans right in front of me, and she loves Blake and Murphy. Apparently, one of them is dating Alexa Bliss. Also, apparently one of them will say that he is this lady's husband. She is, um, not attractive, so this is definitely not a genuine thing, but she acted as if it was. She was like a 35-year-old adult who defended those guys no matter what they did. Wrestling is very real, and if you say anything bad about Blake and Murphy, she will threaten to fight you and/or have them fight you. This woman was a treasure.

Gronk
The last set of fans are Gronks. As in, Rob Gronkowski, because he was there. They show up late with 20 mostly gigantic people in Mojo Rawley shirts, where they sit in the front row that was blocked off for them as other people are forced to stand due to there not being enough seats because of Gronk. They wait for Mojo's match, cheer, celebrate, and leave to go Gronk up some other place.

Gronks are the worst, but really, everything else about the NXT experience is pretty great. If you happen to be stuck around Orlando for any period of time, I promise there is no better $10 spent than seeing NXT live.