Monday, June 22, 2015

Rick Rude Is The Most Underrated Wrestler In History

Everybody remembers Rick Rude, but I'm not sure people remember how great Rick Rude was. I'm honestly not sure if there was a better heel during his era, as it was impossible to cheer for Rick Rude. He was better than everybody else, and there was nothing more that he loved to do than shove that fact right down their throats. Still, he is not remembered for being as great as he was, and now that Macho Man is in, Rick Rude is definitely the most deserving person to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.

The guy had it all. Rick Rude was amazing on the mic. In his debut match, he set the tone for what his schtick would be:

Sweathogs is an insult that is not used nearly enough. It elaborates enough on a simple pig comment by not only saying you look like a hog which takes care of fat and ugly, but you both look and smell disgusting with the sweat added in. Underrated in this clip is Vince McMahon commenting on Rude as he disrobes, "Well, pretty good abs, traps not too bad," and then the camera flashes to a fat kid, and McMahon gets completely flustered. It's all perfect.

And then, after his match, he kisses a woman so passionately that she faints from the experience. If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me...I would have like 25 cents, although I think the girls may have just pretended to pass out to prevent any funny business. Either way, I'm a helluva kisser. Underrated part of after the match is that Rick Rude would then stand over the woman and gyrate his hips. I really should have tried that maneuver to show the ladies that I'm a bonafide stud.

But it wasn't just on the mic that Rude was a stud, as he could flat out wrestle. He succeeded in WWE, WCW, and in Japan while excelling in every style. This man could not only have great matches with other great wrestlers; he managed to not only get a good match but good matches out of the Ultimate Warrior.

That alone should be enough to make him a Hall of Famer. And the guy was a heel through and through. Rude used to just flex his ass in the middle of the ring or gyrate his hips and get boos rained down on him. He was a total heel in that every bit of his offense made you think this was a bad guy. It was full of headlocks and sleepers and punches to the gut. That slow offense makes it impossible to cheer for a guy. But even when he would add some flash and hold suplexes, there was always that little bit of him showing off that made people hate him.

Oh yeah, and the man loved to show ass. There is nobody in history that got depantsed more than Rude.

And although he never became World Champion in the WWE, he did manage to do it in the WCW.

He not only beat Flair for the title, but he also managed to make out with one of Flair's many different women. As far as I know, he may be the only guy who can claim the latter. He had an incredible career where he not only managed to look great, but he always made his opponents look great as well. After finally becoming a World Champion, he actually never lost the title. Unfortunately, he injured his back in a freak accident in a match against Sting in Japan and was forced to retire. But Rick Rude was pure money both in and out of the ring.

That being said, had he just gone to the ring in his custom made tights, he still would probably be one of my 20 favorite wrestlers of all time. Here are the top five things that Rick Rude had airbrushed on the front of his tights:
5. His Face
It's an incredibly great way to peacock. I mean, if Mystery is armed with a top hat and a boa, you're going to blow him out of the water with custom made tights with your face on the front. A great pickup gambit would be asking a girl to kiss you on your airbrushed lips.

4. Championship Belt
Since you can't wear your title belt at all times, it is best to just airbrush it on there to let the ladies know that anytime you put on your pants, you're a champion. They'll learn later that when you take off your pants, you're even more of a champion.

3. Regis and Kathie Lee's Faces

Yep, just Rick Rude making a woman pass out from the passion of his kiss, and then showing off Kathie Lee's airbrushed face on his front side, while using his backside to make Regis animated when he flexed his ass. This is a very boss maneuver for whenever you are invited on to a talk show, and I think more people should follow Rick Rude's lead.

2. His Opponent's Face
I mean, how demeaning is that? Just your face is right on his dick. That has to be one of the most alpha maneuvers anyone can possibly pull off.

1. His Opponent's Wife's Face
This is the most alpha maneuver. His opponent had a woman? Yeah, Rick Rude's going to put that woman's face right over his dick. Imagine somebody doing that to you. If somebody put my wife's face on their pants, I'd have no choice but to fight them. Like, I couldn't just let them keep wearing those pants. But man, if I saw somebody doing that to somebody else's wife, I would applaud that dude for the gumption. Basically, I am just saying that this is one of the greatest heel maneuvers ever, and I really want a wrestler to bring it back.

After his wrestling days were over due to a back injury, he still had one of the most memorable moments of the Monday Night Wars when he showed up on both shows at the exact same time. Since Raw was pretaped every other week, Rude was there for the taping, but his contract ended and he showed up on a live episode of Monday Nitro.

Yeah, if this isn't 100% the reason that Rude isn't in the WWE Hall of Fame, then it is at least 99% of the reason. He not only screwed over WWE, but then he buried them on their competitor's show. A couple years after this, Rick Rude died at the age of 40 from heart failure. He was a wrestler in the 80s and 90s, so he undoubtedly lived a hard life, but one that still ended far too soon.

Basically, if I was going to be a pro wrestler, I would want to be Rick Rude. Great look, great mustache, and could live like a heel in every aspect of life. Rick Rude's one of the greatest wrestlers of all-time; he's criminally underrated, and WWE needs to put him in the Hall of Fame immediately. It's long overdue for an all-time great.

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