Monday, March 7, 2016

It's Time To Charm MusclePharm

I know what you're thinking. You thought that this Adonis-like body was all natural. Unfortunately, at age 31, I need a little help to keep up my image as the personification of perfection. Since I'm too cheap to pay for the good stuff (steroids), I turn to my good friends at MusclePharm. They make a wide variety of products, but I keep it simple with a daily vitamin, pre-workout, protein powder, and protein bar. Luckily for me, MusclePharm makes great products in each of these categories.

Daily Vitamin: Armor-V
Daily life is hard, as there are always people trying to take you off your game, whether it be giving you extra assignments at work or shooting you, Armor has everything you need to survive the day. It gives me both inner and outer strength, and I feel much better when I have had my daily vitamin.

Pre-Workout: Assault
This is where we get into the awesome names that make you feel manly and give you an uber-workout-boner. Assault is what I do to any weight that dares stand before me thanks to the energy boost I get from this product. The other great thing about it is the price continues to drop on Bodybuilding.com, so it's a super cheap pre-workout supplement. That is very important to me, as I'm not exactly setting the world on fire with my cash flow, so being reasonably priced is real nice for a fella like me. Oh, and like all pre-workouts, make sure you build in some time after taking it to take a dump before working out.

Protein Powder: Combat
Combat Protein Powder is a tasty treat in both chocolate and vanilla (I'm a very plain flavor sort of guy when it comes to my proteins). I'm a believer that protein powders are basically all the same, so if you like the taste and it comes cheap, you should go for it. The only one I wouldn't recommend is some brand that has a Jay Cutler sponsorship. It was the bodybuilder, not the quarterback, but I feel like the stink of the quarterback got involved in the flavor making process, so it'll leave you pouting on the sidelines.

Protein Bar: Combat Crunch
I know I said I was a big fan of MusclePharm products, but this one is off the chain by any standards. If you want a premium protein bar, it does not get any better than this. I scoff at people who are eating Quest bars like they are any good. Combat Crunch Bars (Peanut Butter flavor) are better than crack. I've never had crack, but I feel pretty safe in saying these are better. It's basically like eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that is topped with a nestle crunch bar. These are the one MusclePharm product that is a little costly, but it is well worth the price, as they are that damn good.

The only downside with MusclePharm is that they aren't sponsoring me. I mean, I'm not a professional athlete, but I lift, train in MMA, and go for runs and would gladly be a walking/rolling/running billboard for their company for the low cost of some free products and some swag to stroll around in. So MusclePharm representative, add me to your stable of sponsorships by reaching out on Twitter or by email. Together, we can have a beautiful relationship. 

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