The Quintessential Breakdown of Brawl for All - Part 3

Brawl For All was one of the most fascinating ideas in WWE history. It's when the WWE took the reality era to a logical place, having real fights, under extraordinarily stupid rules. You may think the WWE did this to capitalize on the popularity of the UFC, and I'm sure that was kind of the case, but there was just one problem. WWE is always like five years behind on things, so instead of the UFC being fresh and exciting, it was actually at its lowest point in popularity since starting in 1993. It was literally the worst time to have Brawl For All, but as it turned out, there was never going to be a good time to have Brawl For All.

Finally, we have made it to Round 2. In round one, we saw Steve Blackman, Bradshaw, Savio Vega, Bart Gunn, Dr. Death Steve Williams, Dan Severn, and 2 Cold Scorpio win their matches. that's only seven, as Hawk and Darren Drozdov fought to a draw, so it was impossible to know who would be advancing in that one. Actually, it was nearly impossible to know who was going to advance in any of the matches as we will get to as we move through a totally nonsensical second round.

Round 2: Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. Bart Gunn
This was the most memorable fight in Brawl for All, as Dr. Death was the guy that the WWE wanted to win this thing, as they could then push him forward like a legitimate badass, much like he was when he was successful in Japan. Dr. Death started out well as he easily landed a takedown in the first few seconds of the match. He actually didn't do that bad in the boxing aspect of that first round either despite having his hips as far back behind his body as possible and leading with his head while throwing all of his punches, which is probably the worst possible striking strategy as you will have no power and your chin will be completely exposed to counter strikes. Even in the second round, Bart Gunn didn't do much striking wise, but he did surprise Williams with a takedown near the end of the round. Then the third round happened, and towards the end both guys started throwing as many punches as possible, and Gunn eventually landed with a left hook that turned out the lights on Dr. Death.

Brawl For It All Fight 6 by xusername26x
Looking back, I think the rules really hurt Dr. Death. Anytime they were in the ropes they broke, and in fact, anytime that Dr. Death worked a tie up so he could go for a takedown, the ref immediately broke things up, because he had no concept of how most takedowns occur. Had Dr. Death been allowed to work his strength, he could have won, but Bart Gunn instead would move on to the semifinals. .

Round 2: The Godfather vs. 2 Cold Scorpio
You may remember The Godfather from his loss to Dan Severn. Dan Severn withdrew from the tournament after dominating his first match, which was kind of nice, because now we wouldn't know who was definitely going to win the damn thing. Nearly as sad was 2 Cold Scorpio, who won his match, but they didn't bother televising it and only showed highlights. Still, the pre-match was fantastic as The Godfather offered Scorpio all of his hoes if he would walk away from competing in Brawl for All. Scorpio declined, and we were left with black-on-black violence. The Godfather actually looked rather impressive in this fight, as he he utilized his jab, pushed Scorpio back to the corner and really worked the body over when he got him there. On top of that, he had his hoes rub him down in between rounds to keep him fresh. That's a pimp move.

Brawl For It All Fight 7 by xusername26x

Round 2: Darren Drozdov vs. Savio Vega
Drozdov fought to a draw in his opening match against Road Warrior Hawk, who was battling alcoholism in real life at the time. Drozdov moved on, because the WWE decided they would exploit Hawk's issues with alcohol into a television storyline. It's almost as uncomfortable as watching promos of Chris Benoit stealing Woman from Kevn Sullivan. Savio Vega at least won his first round match.

The first round was fairly even, although not all that good, as Savio Vega kept slipping, and neither guy really landed anything of significance. Savio had cleaner boxing, but Droz's hooks were finding their mark, and Savio got a little too obsessed with takedowns, as his wrestling was not good enough to secure them. Droz started going for takedowns in the second and third round, and that was more than enough to secure his victory. They both only won one match, but Drozdov won his at the right time and moved on to the semifinals of Brawl for All.

Round 2: Bradshaw vs. Marc Mero
"Marvelous" Marc Mero had the chance to be the third guy who did not win his first round match to somehow, inexplicably, make it to the semifinals of Brawl for All. He lost to Steve Blackman, who outside of Dan Severn, probably looked like the favorite after the first round but had to withdraw from injury. So he took on the big Texan, Bradshaw. These guys probably had the best staredown, which was good, because that was the only thing they were the best at.

In the first round, Marc Mero basically lit him up on the feet as he was the only one who could land any sort of significant strikes. But Bradshaw got a takedown, so they went into round two all tied up. The second round was basically the exact same thing. Round three was when controversy hit, as Mero totally lit up Bradshaw on the feet again, Bradshaw clinched, the referee wanted a break, started counting, got to three and then Bradshaw got a takedown. The ref counted the takedown which meant that it was all tied up at 15 at the end of regulation.

Mero was rightfully pissed, especially since he would lost in overtime after Bradshaw hit a takedown and I'm not sure if either guy landed a punch int he fourth round since they were both completely winded from three one-minute rounds.

Brawl For It All Fight 8 by xusername26x

And we have made it to the end of round 2. Onto the semifinals where half of the contestants didn't win their first round match, another one only won his second round match on an illegal takedown, and one guy who had a legitimate knockout, but no worries on that last one as his story will get some kayfabe added into it to make this a complete shitshow. I love Brawl for All.

The Quintessential Breakdown of Brawl For All - Part 1

Brawl For All was one of the most fascinating ideas in WWE history. It's when the WWE took the reality era to a logical place, having real fights, under extraordinarily stupid rules. You may think the WWE did this to capitalize on the popularity of the UFC, and I'm sure that was kind of the case, but there was just one problem. WWE is always like five years behind on things, so instead of the UFC being fresh and exciting, it was actually at its lowest point in popularity since starting in 1993. It was literally the worst time to have Brawl For All, but as it turned out, there was never going to be a good time to have Brawl For All.

The rules allowed punching and takedowns with most punches landed in a round worth five points, each takedown worth five points, and a knockdown being worth 10 points. The entire fight was three one-minute rounds with 30 seconds rest between each round.

Before we get started with the "fights," I'd like to point out that this tournament is officiated by a 70 year old dude who seems pretty spry. That's because he's Danny Hodge, a legend in amateur and professional wrestling, and I would probably pick him to beat at least half of these guys. And that's not in his prime. That's 70-year-old Dan Hodge just schooling fools. In his prime, he wins the whole tournament.

1st Round - Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman
This was probably the most interesting fight of the first round on paper. Marc Mero was a Golden Gloves boxer and Steve Blackman was some sort of kickboxer who seemed to be good with numbchucks. Unfortunately, there were no numbchucks allowed for this one. I'm guessing the WWE thought this would be a good slugfest to get things going. Instead, Blackman put on a wrestling clinic, and there were only about seven punches thrown in the fight, as Blackman landed ten takedowns over the three minute fight. Honestly, Blackman's blast double looked pretty good, and he believably could have fought some real fights. I'd totally take Blackman over CM Punk in a fight. Unfortunately, the crowd booed the fight the entire time, so it was not an ideal start to things. Also not ideal, Blackman got hurt training for his next match and Mero got put back in the tournament despite losing his first fight 65-0.

Brawl For It All Fight 1 by xusername26x

1st Round - Mark Canterbury vs. Bradshaw
Canterbury was formerly in a white trash hillbilly gimmick as Henry O. Godwin (HOG, get it?) but wanted to go by his real name, so he could get all the fame from winning Brawl For All. Bradshaw thought he was the toughest guy in the WWE but would later get punked out by ECW announcer Joey Styles. This was more what the WWE was looking for, but it was still fairly shitty. These guys came out swinging for the fences and throwing haymakers but generally not looking like they knew what they were doing. After about 30 seconds, they came to a scary realization: Fighting is super tiring. So they both rested for the second half of the first round. Then Bradshaw threw some decent punches in the second round and rocked Canterbury, but it still wasn't enough to get a knockdown. Before the third round, the fans had started a "Boring" chant, and the third round delivered on that chant as neither guy had any energy.

Brawl For It All Fight 2 by xusername26x

1st Round - Brakus vs. Savio Vega
Poor Brakus. He was a massive German who had the look that Vince McMahon loves. They had vignettes building him up, but he got put in the Brawl for All and got his face smashed by Savio Vega, because Vega was a legitimately tough Puerto Rican. He fought like you would expect a bodybuilder to fight, big punches with thuds but no snap in them, and Savio was much quicker and repeatedly punched Brakus in the face. He tried using his strength for takedowns, but that only worked in the first round. Then, Savio adjusted, and repeatedly punched the guy in the face. This was basically the end for Brakus.

1st Round - Hawk vs. Darren "Puke" Drozdov
This may be my favorite fight of the entire tournament. It wasn't good by any means, but it was hilarious. Hawk was a tag team wrestling legend, and Darren Drozdov could puke on command. Hawk came out as Hawk with full wrestling attire and face paint for his fight. I think all UFC fighters should start wearing face paint, because it is totally awesome. Then to start this fight, it looked like Drozdov did not want to throw punches. Then Hawk kept punching him in the face, and Drozdov just kept taking punches. In the second round, Drozdov just repeatedly threw right hands but they connected a good amount and he rocked Hawk a couple times to win the second round. Then, they both threw punches in the third round. Since Hawk had the cardio of an obese 70 year-old, he had to spit his mouthpiece out to breathe, and Drozdov decided to do the same. They threw more punches at each other, and it was bad but mildly entertaining. Then, the most amazing thing happened. They called it a Draw. In the third round, they landed the exact same amount of punches. No fourth round, no nothing. I have no idea how they planned to decide who was going to move on. Luckily, Hawk was injured in the fight, so they had to keep Drozdov in the thing.

Brawl For It All Fight 3 by xusername26x

This is just the first half of the first round. There is so much more to come.

Savio Vega Is Mr. In Your House

Shawn Michaels earned the moniker of Mr. WrestleMania as he put on a ton of legendary performances on the biggest stage of all. Now, I find it more than slightly debatable than The Hearbreak Kid is the true Mr. WrestleMania. Since I am a lifelong Hulkamaniac, I obviously put Hogan very high on the list, and Undertaker could definitely make a claim. Still, it got me thinking about who would be the guy known as the embodiment of other pay per views. After thinking about the impact that people had and what those PPVs meant, there was really only one clear choice to take that honor. And that is why Savio Vega is Mr. In Your House.

Think about it: In Your House is probably one of the worst PPVs that the WWE has ever had, and that sounds like I am demeaning Savio Vega. In a way, I am, but any PPV is better than no PPV, and although I was never a huge Savio Vega guy, it is better to have Savio Vega instead of nobody at all.

And don't get it twisted, this man made an impact at many of the In Your Houses. He debuted on it to help out Razor Ramon, and proceeded to personify a dark period in WWE history. Savio was a good guy, because the WWE decided you should cheer for him. He was an honorable dude, but he never really did anything. He was basically Rocky Maivia without the looks and charisma. He was the transitional WWE Superstar, to get people doing more important things, much like In Your House was a transitional PPV to get to something that was actually important.

He hung out with Santa Claus for In Your House 5, and Million Dollar Man tried to buy Savio, but Savio wouldn't let him, because of his belief in Santa Claus. Then Santa Claus attacked Savio, as he had been bought by Million Dollar Man. It turns out that it was actually Xanta Klaus, who is from the South Pole and steals presents. Xanta Claus lasted one other night, which is about the most In Your House thing possible.

If you think that was the end of his run against Million Dollar Man, you would be sorely mistaken. First, he lost to Stone Cold Steve Austin, but he vowed revenge in a Caribbean Strap Match. Ted DiBiase was so confident that he said he would retire if Savio won. Well, Mr. In Your House took it to Stone Cold and won the match to boot DiBiase over to WCW. Vega managed to do this a month before Stone Cold won the King of the Ring and began his ascension to superstardom. Stone Cold may have been great, but he was not Mr. In Your House.

Oh, and in one of the most In Your House things ever, he literally had the same feud with Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw that he did with Stone Cold in that Bradshaw won their first match, and then Vega beat him in a Caribbean Strap Match. Yes, Savio Vega could definitely be called, Mr. Caribbean Strap Match.

Instead, he became Mr. In Your House. A forgettable superstar matching a forgettable string of Pay Per Views. But In Your House was a Pay Per View, and Savio Vega was a WWE Superstar. Savio Vega embodies the importance of just making it there. His career may be forgettable for a WWE Superstar, but it is still more memorable than 99.9% of the general population. Mr. In Your House may not be Mr. WrestleMania, but it's still one hell of an impressive accomplishment.

Adam Bomb Should Have Been More

How was Adam Bomb not a bigger deal? He was a big dude who could believably crush people, and yet he never really got any sort of push into a title picture. Instead, he just kind of existed.

The dude was huge, jacked, and he had cool sunglasses. I mean, is that name stupid? Objectively, yes, it is an awful name and it is impossible to deny the stupidity. So, yes, it was stupid...stupid awesome. Think about it as if you were a child. His last name was Bomb. This guy should have had sold a shit-ton of merchandise.

Could he talk? Not really, but most big guys aren't that great of talkers and managers were still a normal thing to pair with a big guy who wasn't quite polished yet. He started off with Johnny Polo, but Polo dumped him on Harvey Wippleman to focus on the Quebecers. Harvey Wippleman dumped him so he could manage Kwang, who was best known as being a secret character in the video game WWF Raw for the 32X (I got a 32X like three years after it came out for ten bucks and that game for another 5. I would say I got my $15 out of the investment, but nothing more).

After that, he kind of became a good guy, but people stopped caring, and it didn't help that he would do a pose and the WWE would shoot up green smoke behind him, which made his Adam Bomb look like he just farted. Considering he would be released a few months later, it was kind of a fitting image.

That's where Adam Bomb effectively died. He became Wrath in WCW, but then went by his real name of Bryan Clark to tag with Brian Adams as KroniK. They won the tag titles a couple times, but it was during the Vince Russo era, so it doesn't really count as success at that point. He had a brief cup of coffee in the WWE, but injuries quickly ended that run, and after bouncing around in independents and Japan, he retired in 2003.

It's pretty clear that Adam Bomb wasn't destined to carry a company, but it seems like he could have done more. In an era when guys like Marty Jannetty, Ahmed Johnson, and Marc Mero became Intercontinental Champions, it sure seems like Adam Bomb could have been more. Adam Bomb should have been more.