Ranking Al Snow's Worst Gimmicks

Al Snow is known for being a jobber. That sounds bad, but he is probably the most successful jobber in history. Barry Horowitz rode being a jobber to a little success, but Al Snow rode being a jobber to a full career, one in which he won far more than his jobber status would have you believe. Although he is most remembered as the guy who brought a mannequin head out with him, that was sadly the highlight of his gimmicks, as things were far, far worse before that. It's time to take a look back at the gimmicks that Al Snow rode to legendary jabroni status.

5. Al Snow
Yes, sadly, this was Al Snow's best gimmick. He is most famously known for his work in the JOB Squad. I looked up on YouTube to try to find a relevant video, and this is what I found:

This video contains:
Al Snow losing in strip poker to a deer head.
Nicole Bass giving mouth to mouth to Val Venis.
Hardcore Holly.
Al Snow wrestling a mannequin head.
Al Snow missing a moonsault onto said mannequin head.
Al Snow winning the Hardcore Championship from the mannequin head.

And this was Al Snow's BEST gimmick. Ladies and gentleman, The Attitude Era.

4. Steve Moore
Have you ever heard of Steve Moore? Yeah, you probably shouldn't, as he was just used to get squashed in 90s WWE matches. That still makes it his second best gimmick. Yeah, things are about to get real ugly from here on.

3. Shinobi
A year later, he wrestled as Shinobi, a guy who wore a ton of different masks. He was supposed to be the answer to beating Shawn Michaels, but shockingly, he did not win that epic match on Superstars. Shinobi's most amazing moment was when he lost a match on Raw, and then they started advertising a match for The New Rockers. Speaking of The New Rockers...

2. Leif Cassidy
Remember The New Rockers? The New anything is just a really awful idea in wrestling. LOD 2000 is probably the best example of this, but The New Rockers aren't far behind. The Rockers were a tag team carried by Shawn Michaels until Shawn became too big of a star and turned on Marty Jannetty. A few years later, Jannetty brought in Leif Cassidy, which was basically just another Marty Jannetty. They never won a tag title despite the following teams becoming tag team champions during this period.

The Quebecers - A couple Canadians.
Men on a Mission - Just had a really fat guy, which made them unstoppable in this era of the tag team division.
The Bodydonnas - They did have Sunny; they did not have talent.
1-2-3 Kid and Bob Holly - they weren't even together long enough to get a tag team name, and it involved two guys who weren't even to their most memorable gimmicks at this point.
1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty - This is basically The New Rockers, but they decided 1-2-3 Kid was good enough to put the strap on, for the SECOND time, where Leif Cassidy was never that important.

How does it get worse from here?

1. Avatar
Avatar is not only the worst Al Snow gimmick ever. It may be the worst gimmick ever. I remember having Raw playing in the background while aggressively blogging to my heart's content. I fully admit that when I heard Vince McMahon say the words, "And coming up next, we have a new superstar making his debut, Avatar," my ears perked like they had never perked before. I have never heard the name Avatar before, so I was pumped. He looked kind of karate like, and I immediately knew he was somebody, but it took me about 1.5 seconds before I realized that it was Al Snow.

Yes, Al Snow was Avatar. But it gets better. He came down as a dude, and then got in the ring and put on a stupid mask. It would be like if Finn Balor came to the ring as Finn, and then laid in the ring for two hours while he was "transformed" into The Demon. It kind of kills the effect of the mystery behind the mask. As I sat there with my mouth agape, I realized that no matter how bad things would get for Al Snow, it could never be as bad as Avatar.

Adam Bomb Should Have Been More

How was Adam Bomb not a bigger deal? He was a big dude who could believably crush people, and yet he never really got any sort of push into a title picture. Instead, he just kind of existed.

The dude was huge, jacked, and he had cool sunglasses. I mean, is that name stupid? Objectively, yes, it is an awful name and it is impossible to deny the stupidity. So, yes, it was stupid...stupid awesome. Think about it as if you were a child. His last name was Bomb. This guy should have had sold a shit-ton of merchandise.

Could he talk? Not really, but most big guys aren't that great of talkers and managers were still a normal thing to pair with a big guy who wasn't quite polished yet. He started off with Johnny Polo, but Polo dumped him on Harvey Wippleman to focus on the Quebecers. Harvey Wippleman dumped him so he could manage Kwang, who was best known as being a secret character in the video game WWF Raw for the 32X (I got a 32X like three years after it came out for ten bucks and that game for another 5. I would say I got my $15 out of the investment, but nothing more).

After that, he kind of became a good guy, but people stopped caring, and it didn't help that he would do a pose and the WWE would shoot up green smoke behind him, which made his Adam Bomb look like he just farted. Considering he would be released a few months later, it was kind of a fitting image.

That's where Adam Bomb effectively died. He became Wrath in WCW, but then went by his real name of Bryan Clark to tag with Brian Adams as KroniK. They won the tag titles a couple times, but it was during the Vince Russo era, so it doesn't really count as success at that point. He had a brief cup of coffee in the WWE, but injuries quickly ended that run, and after bouncing around in independents and Japan, he retired in 2003.

It's pretty clear that Adam Bomb wasn't destined to carry a company, but it seems like he could have done more. In an era when guys like Marty Jannetty, Ahmed Johnson, and Marc Mero became Intercontinental Champions, it sure seems like Adam Bomb could have been more. Adam Bomb should have been more. 

How Shawn Michaels Became The Heartbreak Kid

As I go through the years of pro wrestling on WWE Network, one of the most fascinating aspects is watching how wrestlers are able to change over the years. The physical changes are obvious, but the personality changes are far more interesting. Shawn Michaels is one of the most fascinating character changes over the years. The most well-known characters that Michaels portrayed was a bland babyface as one half of The Rockers, and his portrayal as the cool guy sex symbol as The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. But in between there was a period where he was neither, as he switched from a babyface who didn't quite yet know how to be a heel.

Although throwing your tag team partner through a plate glass window is a great way to get heat, Shawn Michaels didn't yet know who his character really was beyond, "Bad guy." Everybody could see that he had way more potential than Marty Jannetty, but I'm not sure if anybody really knew where it was going. But he kept getting time, first with his interview show, The Heartbreak Hotel, but even then he was a little stiff. The most important thing that happened to him was when Macho Man left, and he was allowed to take over commentary on Raw for several weeks.

When he first started on commentary, he knew to take the heel perspective but didn't quite know how to talk it out. Vince McMahon may have been shitty at commentating wrestling matches, but he was always willing to set up his broadcast partners. Now some, like Rob Bartlett, took the ball and ran it into his own end zone, laid down, and shit his pants. But, Shawn Michaels slowly warmed up to talking during the matches. It started as the bad is good, good is bad trope that is easy and predictable, but he went from arrogant bad guy to conceited, self-absorbed, sex symbol bad guy, and the latter led to a very long shelf life.

I think that people remember Shawn Michaels as a great talker from his career, but that was never his greatest strength. I mean, it's not like you remember any great HBK lines outside of the lyrics to his song (which was written by Jimmy Hart). Where his real strength lied was in reacting to things as he was always comfortable giving the proper reactions whether it be with words or looks. Too many people in wrestling will agree with the guys on their side and disagree with the guys against them, but Michaels actually used some nuance. Him, Diesel, and Undertaker were going to tag together against Yokouzuna, Owen Hart, and British Bulldog. They had a promo together and Shawn and Diesel are keeping things lighthearted, and Undertaker takes it to a way darker place, and HBK gets a WTF look on his face, and then Undertaker finishes, and he goes into the "Yeah, what he said," reaction. It's subtle, but it makes him relatable instead of a caricature of how a person would react.

Although I still frequently listen to Sexy Boy, I'm not the biggest mark for HBK. Still, he had one of the ten most successful wrestling careers of all time, and that never would have happened had he not been given the chance to fail. He wasn't great at first, and had he not been able to refine his act subtly during commentary, he may never have caught on like he did.

WWE usually uses one wrestler to do commentary for one segment during Raw each week. Letting different guys take over an entire show and helping them find their voice may lead to some awkward moments, but it could also help WWE uncover the next great superstar. 

How's Your Sleep Going?

People always ask about work, why not sleep? Spend roughly the same amount of time and the stories are usually just as interesting. And since everybody asks about work, it becomes so repetitive. Once I tell a work story once, I am completely over it, because even good stories get old quick. I mean the best story from work I have had recently is going to take a piss, and when I was washing my hands, watching a guy walk into the bathroom with his lunch and just lingering around, clearly waiting for me to leave so he could eat his lunch. I don't know if he was going to go after it at the sink or take it into the stall. I don't want to know, but needless to say, I now walk across the street in order to go to the bathroom in another building. I don't want to relive that every time somebody asks about work

Meanwhile, sleeping has been way more exciting. I've been sleeping real well. I have this plan where I turn on an old episode of Raw, and Marty Jannetty instantly puts me to sleep. It's amazing. Also, last week, my wife was out of town, and my dog insisted on snuggling, but where she usually likes to kick my wife in the middle of the night, she didn't move an inch for me. Unfortunately, my wife came back and was a blanket stealer, so there is some drama in the household. 

See? There's a story of triumphant sleep, unconditional love, and drama, all in a week's time. Sleep is way more exciting than work. 

And if you think this is just a long-winded way of saying I still haven't found a full-time job? Well, you'd be right. Thanks for reading.