Thursday, April 26, 2018

The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #1 Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan
And so we've come to the end of the road. Surprise, surprise, Michael Jordan made the top spot of the most important players to the Chicago Bulls dynasty. Here's the problem with Michael Jordan: What can I say about Michael Jordan that hasn't been said at least a thousand times before? Everybody already knows how good Michael Jordan was. Most consider him the greatest ever, so breaking down his stats is a waste of everyone's time. Luckily, I'm smart enough to know that my words in this scenario are overrated, so let's consult YouTube and look at some of his greatest career highlights.

Since Jordan was known for his high flying ways, let's start off by looking at his five best dunks. That seems a little broad, so instead of just going with overall dunks, let's only focus on the five best occasions of Michael Jordan dunking on very good NBA player, Armen Gilliam.

My favorite thing, outside of the fact that somebody made a cut up just to shame Armen Gilliam, is that Michael Jordan not only has five AMAZING dunks on Gilliam, but he did it while Gilliam played for three separate teams. It's like Jordan looked forward to the schedule to see when he could punk out poor Gilliam, and that 100% seems like something Michael Jordan would do.

MJ was known for his insane competitiveness as no matter what was at stake, he simply refused to lose. And this may be the greatest embodiment of that as Chris Paul said that if Michael Jordan missed three of six shots, every kid at the basketball camp would get a free pair of Air Jordans.
Of course, Michael Jordan couldn't miss three shots, or two shots, or even a single of the six shots he took, because he's Michael Jordan, and he has to win. My favorite part of the video is that in the cut up you can hear the kids get more and more depressed as he keeps hitting shots. The man is ruthless. After Jordan made all six shots, Chris Paul gave them a second chance to give out the shoes if he could make all six shots, but he missed his third attempt. MJ's got to keep them profit margins on point.

As you can see, Michael Jordan is an over-competitive assho...uh, jerk. That's what made him great. But he also had a softer side as he could be charming and fun to be around when he wanted to be as shown in the below video where he throws a football 65 yards, but the best part is him interacting with kids.

Some kid says that he heard that Michael Jordan threw three no hitters when he was a kid, and Jordan's response is pretty great, "I did? Where'd you find that out; I think they asked my father that. He kinda lied. That's okay. It's in the book. It's record now." Also, let's ignore the fact that if those kids were Michael Jordan's neighbors, they are probably hedge fund managers now and likely horrific scumbags.

Finally, let's wrap things up with a couple of MJ's endorsements. First, Gatorade, where one of the most memorable jingles of all time was established, as everybody wanted to be "Like Mike."

I cannot help but smile when I watch that commercial.

And one last commercial, where Michael Jordan and Larry Bird compete for $4 worth of fast food.
Word has it that they made all of these shots on the first try, but sorry Larry, there's no way you were getting Michael's Big Mac. When you actually consider it, is it fair to say Michael Jordan is the greatest commercial actor in history? It's tough to think of anybody who can match up with him. But that's just a part of his story. The bigger part of the story is that he is greatest basketball player of all time, and that is why he was a no-brainer for the greatest Chicago Bull of their 1990s dynasty.

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