The WWE Is Ruining... Bray Wyatt

I got nothing on this one. Bray Wyatt has a fascinating character that was pushed to the top of the pile, and everybody still seems pretty on board with it.

My only concern is what they do once he loses. I’m hoping his weakness is found out to be water, and Roman Reigns very wet hair is enough to debilitate him. This is why Seth Rollins was so tough, but he didn’t quite get his hair wet enough to win.

But this is the issue. What happens when the unbeatable gets beat? Even people without super powers like Goldberg lost all their momentum when he was beaten by the use of a cattle prod. Asuka just kept losing, and we found out she was easily distracted by people cosplaying her. So how they make him dangerous but not unstoppable will determine the long-term success of The Fiend. But for now, you really can’t fault what WWE has been doing so far.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
Akam
Aleister Black

Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Buddy Murphy
Carmella
Cesaro
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lacey Evans

Lana

Lio Rush

Luke Gallows
Luke Harper

Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

R-Truth

Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio

Rezar

Ricochet

Ronda Rousey

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shelton Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura
Sonya Deville

Tamina

Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder

Who Won the WWE's Superstar Shakeup?

Pro wrestling is still real to me, damnit. So I wanted to look at all of the Superstar Shakeups to see the reasoning that each show would have to make these moves. I matched up guys in the most logical sense, and then ranked these trades from least to most important, marking a winner for each trade. There were basically nine trades, so the least important will receive one point, and the most important receiving nine points to see whether Daniel Bryan or Kurt Angle (who might be kayfabe racist, but we’ll get to that later) is the superior general manager of their show.

9. Raw trades Jinder Mahal to Smackdown for Curt Hawkins
Kayfabe Logic: Here is how I imagine this conversation went.
Side A: I will literally trade this guy for anybody on your roster.
Side B: Anybody?

And so it was written, the jobbers switched shows to lose to different guys.

Raw Motivation: They get rid of Jinder Mahal.

Smackdown Motivation: They get rid of Curt Hawkins.

Winner: Raw, although maybe Smackdown if Jinder Mahal shares his fitness tips with the rest of the roster. (Raw leads 1-0)

8. Raw trades Tamina to Smackdown for Mickie James
Kayfabe Logic: Neither of these ladies were able to make it to the top in limited opportunities, let’s switch it up and see what they can do.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle’s been gone for a really long time. This may be the only women’s wrestler that he recognizes. He may have initially tried to trade for Trish Stratus, something that I endorse 100%.

Smackdown Motivation: I guess Daniel Bryan wanted more size on his women’s roster.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 3-0)

7. Raw trades The Shining Stars to Smackdown for Rhyno and Heath Slater
Kayfabe Logic: Rhyno and Heath Slater have fallen off the map recently, which is something you never have to worry about the Shining Stars, because you can always find them in Puerto Rico.

Raw Motivation: Rhyno and Heath Slater were over for a very short period of time. Will it happen again? Probably not, but being over once is more than The Shining Stars can say.

Smackdown Motivation: Daniel Bryan is interested in a timeshare in Puerto Rico? Daniel Bryan had already traded for Jinder Mahal and knew that he had to get rid of Heath Slater, so he could avoid 3MB chants when Drew McIntyre gets called up? Those are my two best explanations.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 6-0)

6. Raw trades Sin Cara to Smackdown for Kalisto
Kayfabe Logic: Raw wanted to boost their Cruiserweight division, and since Smackdown doesn’t have one of those, it made sense to get a bigger guy who also fills their affirmative action of guy in a mask.

Raw Motivation: Yeah, basically boost up the cruisers, because this is where Kalisto should have been the entire time.

Smackdown Motivation: Um, Kalisto framed Daniel Bryan?

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 10-0)

5. Raw trades Sami Zayn to Smackdown for Apollo Crews
Kayfabe Logic: Two tremendous wrestling talents that can’t seem to find a way to win on their current show, so it’s a challenge trade to see if either guy can reach their potential on a different night of the week.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle went from a guy in Zayn who talks too much to a guy in Crews who has never said anything memorable. Also, not sure if you noticed this, but this is the first white person that Kurt Angle has traded, and even Zayn is a Canadian. Actually, looking through the roster, he traded away one white American, every other person he traded was a foreigner or a minority, many times both. Meanwhile, Apollo Crews is the only minority that he traded for in the Superstar Shakeup, and every single one of his picks are Americans (not counting managers). I did not notice this until I got to this point when writing, and it’s got me shook. Kurt Angle is a kayfabe xenophobic racist.

Smackdown Motivation: Sami Zayn is basically new age Daniel Bryan, so this move couldn’t make more sense for their side.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 10-5)

4. Raw trades Rusev with Lana to Smackdown for The Miz with Maryse
Kayfabe Logic: I can’t lose a dude with a hot chick without getting a dude with a hot chick in return.

Raw Motivation: The Miz has been doing some of his best work and part of that should be attributed to Maryse who has really helped elevate the stakes for The Miz. Also, John Cena’s the biggest superstar in the WWE, so if you can’t get him, you might as well get his number one impersonator.

Smackdown Motivation: Miz couldn’t get the job done against John Cena, so at this point, is he really worth the hassle for Daniel Bryan? Rusev has more untapped potential than anyone in the WWE, as he’s legitimately one of the funniest people on the show, and he’s a hoss in the ring. That’s a nice return.

Winner: Raw. The Miz deserves it for what he’s been doing these past six months, but the only reason that people don’t think Rusev hasn’t been doing just as good stuff on the microphone (his promo where he called out Cass and E for calling themselves Big before calling himself Handsome Rusev belongs in the Smithsonian), just with a Bulgarian accent. Raw leads 16-5

3. Raw trades Charlotte Flair to Smackdown for Alexa Bliss
Kayfabe Logic: One former champion for another.

Raw Logic: Let’s face it. This had to be part of getting Mickie James for Tamina earlier. I love Alexa Bliss, but she’s no Charlotte.

Smackdown Logic: Uh, yeah, definitely do what you can to get Charlotte on the roster. I love Sasha an uncomfortable amount, but Charlotte has been the MVP of the Women’s division as long as it has been around.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 16-12)

2. Raw trades Kevin Owens to Smackdown for Dean Ambrose
Kayfabe Logic: This is probably the most straight forward trade, as each side is trading their secondary champion in order to mix things up. And yes, this trade should probably be listed as number one, but as a writer, I needed a grand finale, and the final trade is way more hilarious.

Raw Motivation: Getting Dean Ambrose means that they have all three former members of The Shield on their roster, which will lead to endless speculation about the Shield reforming.

Smackdown Motivation: They get a better pure wrestler for their pure wrestling show, and he’s also better on the microphone, and he’s also not Dean Ambrose.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown leads 20-16)

1. Raw trades The New Day to Smackdown for Bray Wyatt
Kayfabe Logic: Bray has supernatural powers, and The New Day have the power of friendship.

Raw Motivation: Here’s what Raw has going for it. Bray Wyatt could win the World Title and give Raw both of the top titles on their show, which is especially valuable since there ain’t no way Brock Lesnar is defending that thing on Raw. Also, while trading three guys for one may seem excessive, Bray keeps pooping out new members at random times, so maybe he can bring in The Drifter or a darker version of No Way Jose? I don’t know.

Smackdown Motivation: They got three guys for one, and now their show is no longer booty. Creepy cult leading Bray Wyatt was cool, supernatural, maggot loving, Bray Wyatt is stupid. I’m not even a big fan of The New Day’s work these past six months, but I’d still rather have Big E alone over Bray Wyatt. Getting Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods along with him is a massive win for Smackdown.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown wins 29-16)

Although Raw won the minor trades, when it came to the top talents, Smackdown dominated their competition, and I’m actually incredibly excited about the future of Smackdown. It’s been putting on much better shows for a while, but with the influx of talent they have now, they could blow Raw away, and that is definitely not booty.

The 41 Best Matches of WrestleMania 33 Weekend - 41-31

I am about five months younger than WrestleMania. After 30 years of being a wrestling fan, I made my first trip to WrestleMania out in San Jose/San Francisco for WrestleMania 31. It was pretty damn incredible. I know that makes me a giant nerd, and I am totally cool with that. Wrestling doesn't need to be cool, because it is hilarious and occasionally awesome. Two years later, it came to Orlando, and since that is less than two hours away, I knew that I would be making my second WrestleMania trip. Starting on Thursday, I saw WrestlePro, the WrestleCon Supershow, NXT Takeover, and of course, WrestleMania 33. Although I may be a nerd about wrestling, even I have to tap out after four nights of events, so I chose not to go to Raw or Smackdown. But I still saw a hell of a lot of wrestling, and here are the beginning of my rankings, working from worst to 31st.

41. WrestleMania - Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt

This match could have reached its ceiling of unmemorable garbage, but instead, they decided to be memorable which turned a boring match into a laughably bad match. I don't know what projecting maggots, worms, and cockroaches on the mat of the ring was supposed to do, but whatever it was, it didn't work, for the crowd or Wyatt. Honestly, at first, I was kind of angry about how bad it was, but looking back in a year or ten, I think I will be glad I could say I was there for one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling history. 

40. NXT - Peyton Royce defeated Aliyah 

This was a match taped for the weekly NXT show. Outside of Peyton Royce hitting a Perfect Plex, I remember nothing about this.

39. WrestleCon Supershow - Sandman def Joey Ryan to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship

I mean, I thought an active Sandman was as bad as that guy could look, but no, he looked far worse as he made his six minute entrance to the ring. By just walking by me, he made our entire section smell like a bar, which was kind of impressive. But he beat the King of Dong Style with one kendo stick strike to the head to become the new HeavyMetalWeight Championship.

38. WrestlePro - Chris Payne def. Tommy Dreamer

This was a Falls Count Anywhere match, and those are always kind of terrible, because you can't see most of the action. It's nice for the people in the cheap seats, but I ponied up the extra $15 for reserved seating, so it didn't benefit me any. I don't know, Tommy Dreamer has never done it for me, although he seems like a real nice guy. This match wasn't bad, but it was a nostalgia match where I didn't really care about any of the nostalgia.

37. WrestleCon Supershow - Joey Ryan defeats Swoggle to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship
This preceded the Sandman match, and it's higher just to see the highest of highs for Swoggle turn to the lowest of lows for him.

36. WrestlePro - CAQ def. Craven Varro

Craven was like a heavy metal rocker, as he had long hair, and was skinny enough to be on copious amounts of drugs. Speaking of, CAQ was a mental patient who barely felt pain. CAQ won to stay undefeated, so I felt like I was seeing the early stages of a Goldberg-like streak. 

35. WrestlePro - The Taboo Crew def. Team Espana and Apple Corps

I really liked the Apple Corps, get it, like the Marine Corps, mostly because they kept screaming Apple Corps, and I like when people yell easy things that I can also yell. But maybe the most important part of this match is that each team had a manager, and all of the managers got involved in cat fights, even though one of them was a fella in a cat fight. The Taboo Crew were also fun enough where I wasn't disappointed in their victory.

34. WrestleMania - Intercontinental Championship Match - Dean Ambrose (c) def. Baron Corbin

A lot of people wanted to majorly shit on this match, but I didn't find it offensively bad. It was a Dean Ambrose match, what did you really expect? It was fine.

33. WrestlePro - Beefcake Charlie won a Scramble Match

Well, the internet was not great at getting me the information on what guys were in this match, but Beefcake Charlie is a fat guy in a pink singlet, and because of that, he was a crowd favorite and deserved to win. there was also a guy that dressed up as a Power Ranger who probably had the most long-term potential in the match. This was a very good indy match for unknown guys, but it's kind of tough to compare to some of the top notch talent that was involved in a lot of the other matches.

32. WrestlePro - Tag Team Championship - The Heavenly Bodies def. Da Hit Squad

This was a fine tag match, where Da Hit Squad came out hot and destroyed everything in sight. Then they ran out of gas late in the match, and The Bodies were able to win. Still, the biggest highlight was Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions, LAX, coming out and wrecking house on everyone, and then Konnan cutting a promo. I'm never going to be mad at the K-Dogg showing up.

31. NXT - Heavy Machinery defeated The Bollywood Boyz 

These are two tag teams that I like way more than I should. Seriously, that Bollywood Boyz entrance where they mimic a camera is amazing. Also, if you can't get behind Heavy Machinery, I don't want to be your friend. Fat guys doing fat guy stuff and having fun with it will always put a smile on my face.

Breaking Down the Betting Odds of WrestleMania 33

Lukewarm Jonah: It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Wrestlemania season and that means Wrestlemania betting odds.  Joe will be there in person, but just in case he wants to pay for his ticket by winning a bunch of bets on one of the most underwhelming Wrestlemania’s in recent memory we’re going to look at the odds for the matches at the grandest stage of em all.

Joe: Let's face it, the WrestleMania 33 card looks like ass on paper. The main events were basically designed to give me the least excitement possible, so if I can't see a great WrestleMania card, maybe I can at least make some money off of this thing. Let's break down the odds and find the best bets for this Sunday.

AJ Styles (1/7)  vs. Shane McMahon (11/2):

Lukewarm Jonah: Remember last year when I picked Shane McMahon to win since he had to win in order to continue the storyline?  Well they showed me by mentioning it briefly on RAW the next day then never speaking of it again.  Anyways, AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the company by far and best all around performer.  So he’s been rewarded with dropping the world title and having a match with a non wrestler whose last name is McMahon.  If the WWE does anything besides have Styles run over McMahon after Shane jumps off of something they’re stupid.  That being said, they are very stupid.  I’m still sticking with Styles winning as he pretty much has to, but never doubt a McMahon winning a match for no reason.  

Joe: Yeah, AJ Styles pretty much has to win this match. The only conceivable reason that Shane would win is to get AJ on Raw, which I wouldn’t be totally opposed to, but the only reason I won’t boo is if the Mean Street Posse comes out to help Shane win it. Maybe a Shield style triple powerbomb with the help of Joey Abs and Pete Gas?

Neville (4/11) vs. Austin Aries (15/8):

LJ: This should be a fantastic match.  I know Joe isn’t a big fan of Aries but he was really coming into his own right as he was hurt.  Neville has been great as the King of the Cruiserweights.  They should tear the house down and have a really fun match, but I’m actually taking Aries the underdog.  He’s fresh and he’s getting big reactions from the crowd.  How am I going to bet against the Greatest Man Whoever Lived?

Joe: I am looking forward to this match as this is finally an opportunity for us little guys to shine. The cruiserweight division debuted with a wet fart, but Neville came in to save the day. I think they ride with Neville as the leader for a while longer, and he gives me at least one, “Holy shit” moment.

John Cena and Nikki Bella (1/7) vs. The Miz and Maryse (6/1)

LJ: Miz and Maryse have been carrying this feud like crazy and are doing incredible work.  That being said, those odds are probably not long enough for them.  Cena and Bella are going to win this match and have a big Wrestlemania moment.  There’s a prop bet later that I’d like to talk about, which I think all but ensures Cena and Bella’s win.

Joe: I hope this is the main event, just to give everyone horrific flashbacks to when Miz and Cena main evented a WrestleMania, and it was awful...wait a second, I’m going to be there. This is probably not a wise thing to wish upon myself. I’ll go with Cena and Bella too.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal:

Braun Strowman 1/8	Tye Dillinger 25/1	Neville 50/1
Finn Balor 7/1	Karl Anderson 25/1	Zack Ryder 50/1
Samoa Joe 7/1	Apollo Crews 25/1	Tyler Breeze 50/1
Big Show 7/1	Shawn Michaels 25/1	Titus O'Neil 50/1
Sami Zayn 11/1	Austin Aries 25/1	HHH 50/1
Big Cass 12/1	Randy Orton 25/1	Bo Dallas 66/1
Luke Harper 14/1	John Cena 25/1	Jimmy Uso 66/1
Kurt Angle 20/1	Dean Ambrose 25/1	Heath Slater 66/1
Elias Samson 20/1	Big E 25/1	Charlotte 66/1
Mark Henry 20/1	AJ Styles 25/1	Jey Uso 66/1
Kofi Kingston 22/1	Luke Gallows 25/1	Goldust 80/1
Shinsuke Nakamura 22/1	Kevin Owens 25/1	Curtis Axel 80/1
Dolph Ziggler 22/1	Sheamus 25/1	R-Truth 80/1
The Miz 22/1	Jeff Hardy 33/1	Darren Young 80/1
Kane 22/1	Kalisto 33/1	Jack Swagger 90/1
Rusev 22/1	Roman Reigns 33/1	Batista 100/1
Seth Rollins 22/1	Chris Jericho 33/1	The Undertaker 100/1
Baron Corbin 22/1	The Rock 33/1	Brock Lesnar 100/1
Cesaro 22/1	Hulk Hogan 33/1	Conor McGregor 150/1
Hideo Itami 22/1	Stone Cold Steve Austin 33/1	CM Punk 200/1
Bobby Roode 25/1	Xavier Woods 50/1	Ronda Rousey 250/1

LJ: Always some interesting and fun odds on the Andre The Giant memorial Battle Royal.  Good odds on anyone not named Braun Strowman.  It’s easy to see why, he’s a monster and he just lost some of his heat by being beaten by Reigns.  The two names I’m interested in are two guys who were interesting in the Royal Rumble, Finn Balor and Sami Zyan.  I think they hold off on Balor’s return to help Seth out so I’ll go with good old underdog Sami Zyan to win it.

Joe: Looking at this list, it’s pretty shocking how many great wrestlers have nothing important to do at WrestleMania. Braun Strowman has been awesome these past few months, Samoa Joe has been eating people’s hearts, and Sami Zayn is my (insert heart emoji). Oh yeah, there’s also Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, and THE ENTIRE NEW DAY. They should, like, put all of those people in a Money in the Bank match for my own happiness. Instead, they’re probably all in this battle royal, and I guess I’ll go with Sami Zayn, as I don’t see any surprise debut appearances, and eventually Sami Zayn needs to win something.

Kevin Owens (2/7) vs. Chris Jericho (3/1) United States Title Match

LJ: By far the best booked storyline going into Wrestlemania.  The Kevin and Chris friendship express was extremely entertaining for months and the Festival of Friendship was one of the best segments in years.  Owens is the favorite here since he’s the full time guy and rumor is Jericho might be going on tour with Fozzy soon.  I’m actually taking the underdog Jericho here to win and redeem himself by getting revenge on the guy who screwed him over.  I’m guessing there’s an Owens destruction the next night on RAW but I’m taking Jericho to pull off the win here.

Joe: This is definitely the most interesting storyline, and that’s because it’s from two of wrestling’s most entertaining performers. Even as a Jerchoholic, I’ll admit, I did not see Jericho having this sort of run again. He has been so phenomenal this past year, and it’s truly incredible that he has found a way to reinvent himself yet again. And that’s not taking anything away from Owens who is relentless in and out of the ring, and he will literally just wear you down with everything he does until you are entertained. Still, Jericho deserves to get one up on Owens so I’m going to agree with you and take Jericho to get the win.

The Club (11/10) vs. Enzo and Big Cass (7/5) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro (5/2) RAW Tag Team Title match.

LJ: The Club has been booked terribly since coming to the WWE and they continue their terrible booking by attacking their partners in a handicap match ensuring that they’ll be in a triple threat at Wrestlemania.  But Enzo and Big Cass are the picks here, the WWE wants to push them and they should.  They’ll give them their Wrestlemania moment of winning the tag team titles here.  Probably after The Club lays down and lets them beat them because they’re just tired of carrying them around.

Joe: Well, Monday night, to build interest in this tag match, it was turned into a ladder match, but I was already excited, mostly because it has my man Antonio Cesaro in it. Now that there’s a ladder involved, expect Cesaro to do something incredibly dangerous and/or incredibly strong in this match. I still don’t think him and Sheamus are winning, as I agree that it’s probably time to put the belts on Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady.

Bayley (1/3) vs. Sasha Banks (3/1) vs. Charlotte (8/1) vs. Nia Jax (14/1).  RAW Women’s Title match.

LJ: How terribly has this been booked?  It’s really how terribly Bayley has been booked.  He have a dominant heel champ with a PPV unbeaten streak and the biggest PPV of the year coming up.  We also have an organically over babyface in Bayley that basically everyone loves.  Let’s have the babyface win the title on RAW by interference, and break the PPV streak at a nothing PPV by interference.  Perfect.  Anyways,the one part of this feud that’s been booked decently is the fact that Sasha Banks should be turning heel soon and I think she turns heel at Wrestlemania.  Charlotte was right this entire time and Banks screws over Bayley at Wrestlemania and takes the title.  The good news going forward is that RAW has almost no face women, but hey who cares right?

Joe: I agree that Bayley has been booked terribly, but this is the match that I am most confident in delivering an awesome performance. It’s kind of crazy how much women’s wrestling has changed in the past couple years. Two years ago, Paige had the main women’s match, and I’m pretty sure it was against Nikki Bella but not totally sure. Either way, it was totally forgettable. Of course, two nights before that, Sasha Banks and Charlotte tore it up at the NXT show, and it is absolutely criminal that that match is not available for viewing, because it was pretty damn awesome. Anyway, Charlotte and Sasha Banks are the two best women’s wrestlers around; Bayley isn’t far behind (but she is behind), and Nia Jax plays an important role of just getting to ragdoll little girls like Sasha. But I agree with you, Bruce Springsteen (The Boss) wins the title here.

Alexa Bliss (5/2) vs. Becky Lynch (5/2) vs. Mickie James (6/1) vs. Natalya (9/1) vs. Carmella (14/1) vs. Naomi (5/4) vs. ???

LJ: So, it’s the Smackdown women’s title match Alexa Bliss taking on all available Smackdown women.  There are odds on a few more women, and Asuka is one of them at (16/1).  The smart money seems to be on Naomi returning and winning the belt she never lost.  Becky Lynch is always a threat and Mickie James has some attractive odds as well.  Carmella is definitely more likely to win this match than Natalya so I like her odds as well.  The “All available Smackdown women” comment from Daniel Bryan has to mean that someone unexpected will win the match.  I’ll go with the favorite Naomi to make her return and take back the title.  

Joe: Here’s my surprise for Mania. Asuka wins the Smackdown Women’s Title. I think she loses her NXT title on Saturday night, and then makes her surprise debut in this match and wrecks worlds.

Seth Rollins (1/4) vs. Triple H (7/2) Unsanctioned match

LJ: First question, what the hell is an unsanctioned match, and if anyone’s in one why is it the CFO of the company?  I honestly don’t know if this means it’s a No DQ match or what, but Rollins should really win.  Triple H is always the biggest, toughest, coolest guy in feuds and he’s pretty much dominated Rollins to this point.  But Rollins is his guy, Triple H really likes him so I’m going to do something that’s bitten me in the ass before and think that Rollins picks up the win here.  He probably gets a Samoa Joe beatdown afterwards to write him off while he recovers, but I think he pulls it out.

Joe: Jonah, don’t you get it? All other WrestleMania matches are sanctioned, but this match, this match is unsanctioned. Triple H wrote up an ironclad contract (thanks to help from Big Johnny) that means that Seth Rollins can’t sue no matter what Triple H does. Triple H is known as The Game. What’s the world’s most dangerous game? That’s right, hunting fellow human beings. Triple H is going to shoot Seth Rollins, but it’ll be fine, because it’s unsanctioned. Seth Rollins still wins, because DAVENPORT, IOWA RULES!

Roman Reigns (2/7) vs. The Undertaker (5/2)

LJ: Don’t worry everybody, the WWE heard your demands for a dream match and put the top face against The Undertaker, that’s right it’s John Cena oh crap I mean Roman Reigns.  It’s the Big Dog’s yard now everybody.  Also, please call him the Big Dog and wear my super illegally designed Big Dog Roman Reigns shirt while you do it.  Rumor has it, this might be The Undertaker’s last match.  I don’t think it is, but who knows.  It sure looks like this is when Roman Reigns finally turns heel because you know he’s getting booed out of the building if he beats The Undertaker.  Instead, Roman probably beats The Undertaker, Taker shakes his hand and passes the torch to him and crowds continue to shit all over it.  Big Dog for the win.

Joe: Oh man do I not give a shit about supernatural characters. I’ll take Undertaker, because he’s due for a win at Mania. He hasn’t gotten one in a year.

Dean Ambrose (+350) vs. Baron Corbin (-600) Intercontinental Title match.

LJ: I’m a little surprised by these odds too.  I mean it makes sense that they want to push Corbin as the new monster and give him a good title win, but he dropped a forklift on Ambrose and it sure seems like he should get his revenge.  So screw it, I’m going with Ambrose getting that revenge on Corbin and winning at Wrestlemania.

Joe: I’ll agree that these odds are surprising. I thought I could make good money off Corbin, as I think it makes sense for him to win, mostly because a small child could produce more believable offense than Dean Ambrose. So let’s stick with the Lone Wolf to go 2-0 at WrestleManias and make a real run at Undertaker’s streak.

Randy Orton (4/11) vs. Bray Wyatt (13/5) WWE Championship match.

LJ: This is actually a bit of a tough one to call.  Orton’s storyline is that he couldn’t beat Bray so he joined on him and then turned on him and burnt down his house.  Wyatt got his revenge by rubbing dirt on himself.  The conclusion of this storyline should be Orton winning and finally overcoming Wyatt.  However, Wyatt just won the title a month ago and is getting very strong reactions.  Also, he did get his house burnt down, so the WWE’s 50/50 booking should get the win.  It’s a tough one, but I’m taking the favorite Orton.  The WWE sure loves them some Randy Orton so he probably gets his redemption and wins the title.

Joe: Oh man do I not give a shit about supernatural characters. Let’s go with Bray Wyatt winning with help from Sister Abigail who will be portrayed by noneother than Sunny. Now that’s a prediction.

Brock Lesnar (1/9) vs. Goldberg (9/1) WWE Universal Title match.

LJ: Here it is folks your main event of the evening.  Which part timer will win the championship?  Obviously, Goldberg has completely dominated this feud going back to the time they fought years ago.  This means Lesnar basically has to win the belt.  At least he can last more than two minutes in a match.  The real question is whether he walks out with the belt, or if we get some shenanigans to get the title on someone who actually appears on RAW.  Could be at Wrestlemania, could be the next night on RAW, or he could just hold the belt, appear every couple of months and eventually lose it to Roman Reigns.

Joe: Holy shit, they really need Lesnar to win this thing. I hope it’s a shoot and we see who the better real fighter is. But if they want to make it interesting, you have Lesnar win, and then you have the man who never lost the title, Finn Balor, come out, challenge Brock Lesnar to an impromptu match and win the title before the night ends. It makes everybody happy, except for Goldberg’s shirtless child, but judging by that belly, the sweets he’s been eating should keep him fat and happy.

Prop Bets:

LJ: My favorite prop bet of the night is whether John Cena proposes to Nikki Bella at Wrestlemania.  Yes is (4/9) and I’m betting this happens for sure.  The angle has been about Nikki Bella being unable to get Cena to propose and you know Cena wants to do it at Wrestlemania.  Also, wasn’t The Big Show supposed to fight Shaq?  It looks like this match isn’t happening but you can bet on whether or not Shaq (4/1) will appear in the ring at Wrestlemania, so if it does happen you can bet on it and win some money.  There’s also a prop bet for whether or not Finn Balor (4/9) appears in a ring and I think that’s almost guaranteed so that’s a safe one too.  There are no odds for a Smackdown Tag Team title match, but The Usos will probably retain against American Alpha.  

Joe: I’m not sure about prop bets, but I already predicted an appearance from Asuka. Also, I say Hulk Hogan makes his triumphant return, and we also get appearances from The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Vin Diesel. Since there should probably be an NXT guy in the battle royal, I’ll go with Tye Dillinger maybe getting the permanent callup at this point. And finally, I’ll say that Dolph Ziggler pays homage to Rick Rude and air brushes Jake Roberts’s wife on his crotch. Where can I get odds on that?