Showing posts with label TNA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TNA. Show all posts

Friday, February 7, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... EC3

Why does the WWE hate EC3 so much? It’s the weirdest thing in that with limited exposure in WWE as Derrick Bateman, he still found a way to be very entertaining. Then, they released him, so he turned himself into a star as Ethan Carter III. Once he was a star for Impact, they resigned him again, and he immediately got over with the Full Sail crowd and was sent up to the main roster where he...sometimes chases the 24/7 Champion? I just found out in my research that he is actually a four-time champion. His reigns may not have lasted a combined minute, but four-time champion in the WWE is something that Roddy Piper can’t say.

But EC3 seems like a perfect WWE superstar. Good look, charismatic on the mic, probably only fine in the ring but definitely good enough. I like to take a look back and see how they have used guys. EC3’s last win on Raw or Smackdown was February 4, right after Dean Ambrose said he was leaving the company. They capitalized on that momentum by immediately having Ambrose get his win back the next week in under four minutes. His ONLY OTHER singles match on Raw was in September where he got beat by Rusev. It’s not like he’s been buried; it’s that they weighted him down and threw him to the bottom of the ocean, hoping to never see him again. He has been dealing with a concussion recently, but by far his high point of his time on the main roster was the one time Alexa Bliss briefly checked him out.

So my biggest way to improve EC3 is to...use EC3. Just putting him on television would be a great starting point. If you want to get fancy with it, you could actually let him talk on a microphone to accentuate his charisma, and eventually put him in a singles match with John Cena at WrestleMania. I mean, letting those two guys go at it on the mic is a perfect way to have a feud without Cena getting physical. That’s really not asking much, and using John Cena to put over a charismatic talent is probably the best use of both guys’ skill-sets.

EC3 vs. John Cena - Book it!

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
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Monday, January 20, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... AJ Styles

I still can’t believe how long it took for the WWE to realize that AJ Styles might be pretty good at this whole professional wrestling thing. But after proving he was great for like two decades, he finally did make it on the WWE roster, and overall, it’s been a tremendous success. He has been seen as the best wrestler in the world for part of his run, and his greatness is undeniable.
But it seems like the momentum has slowly come to a halt. He’s still great in the ring, but I’m just not as inspired by it. It’s partially being paired up with The OC. Don’t get me wrong, I think that pairing is a great idea, but the execution has been terrible. They had one night where they truly looked awesome together, and that is when they beat the hell out of the Undisputed Era at the beginning of an NXT episode. They looked like monsters who could destroy you with the strength of their teamwork, but that has never shown up on the main roster.
And really, that’s all I’d want to see changed with Styles. Make that group more viable and threatening and everything they do will seem more important. This probably helps The OC more than Styles, but it gets Styles to that vaunted tier of guys that could legitimately main event WrestleMania, something that Styles has more than enough all-around ability to do. A good heel faction bashing skulls and having lolz is just what this WWE roster needs.
Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
Akam
Aleister Black

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Monday, December 17, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Bobby Roode

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we take a look at the GLORIOUS, Bobby Roode.

Bobby Roode truly came out of nowhere to burst onto the NXT scene and become the NXT Champion. He was never an indy darling and appears to have stopped wrestling on the independent scene after getting a couple matches in the WWE in 2004. Yep, between then and his NXT debut in 2016, he only wrestled a handful of matches in New Japan. But outside of that, it appears he was just chilling, definitely not doing anything of note in any organization.

Anyway, the important thing is Bobby Roode came in and talked about how awful and poor the fans were in order to generate heat. The man was made to be a heel as even his smile makes him look like an asshole. He got that cheap heat, but fans also LOVED his entrance theme, and the WWE heard this love of his entrance theme and thought, "Bobby Roode, what a classic babyface." This was a bad decision.

He quickly won the United States Title after being called up, but since he was WWE's version of cool, he really sucked ass and nobody cared, so his only discernible characteristic was saying glorious a lot. He lost the title, nothing important happened, he tagged with Chad Gable because they didn't have anything important for either guy, and then for some reason they just won the tag titles on Raw last week.

Winning titles would seem to indicate the WWE is doing something positive with a guy, but no, this title reign is stupid, because the team isn't very good, and they pinned the manager of the tag champions to win the belts, so it doesn't even make sense why they are champions.

So what should the WWE do moving forward? First off, find new tag champions. I'm fine with AOP winning them back, I'd love to see The Revival as champions, and hell, since they won them in an asinine way, they can lose them in an asinine way if Lucha House Rules are in effect. But no matter how it happens, Bobby Roode must attack Chad Gable after the match and finally turn heel.

Then, if you want to push Roode to any sort of title level, he needs friends. Roode has charisma, but his ring work is only solid, so that isn't enough to help him stand out. He's best as a cowardly heel, and a cowardly heel can't do it alone. The easiest pairing would be to have him help AOP win the titles by turning on Chad Gable, and building his heat by destroying Drake Maverick. Then he has two bruisers who can be the tag champs while having Roode as their mouthpiece, and they can help Roode in his matches to make him a more legitimate contender.

I think you can start him off by abusing Chad Gable with his newfound muscle. Then Gable gets help from his old friend, Jason Jordan, and they reunite American Alpha to take on AOP to get Bobby Roode out of that feud and onto his own thing. Then just let him be a heel, maybe get him an Intercontinental Title match on occasion and just see where things go. But at least let the guy be a heel.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Pro Wrestling Is Back

My brother told me that TNA was going to compete against Monday Night Raw to reignite the Monday Night Wars that made wrestling so great back in the day. My response, "Who cares?"

I had written it off. The storylines were lame, the main eventers weren't good wrestlers or all that good on the microphone. Nothing about it made me stop channel surfing so I could find something better. After 20+ years, pro wrestling had lost its appeal to me.

Still, I decided I would give it a shot, maybe it was Hulk Hogan wrestling again that made my inner-child need to see it, maybe it was just morbid curiosity on how far pro wrestling had fallen.

So I watched. And HOLY SHIT. TNA Impact was awesome last night.

The show opened with Hogan and Abyss in the ring, and they called out Ric Flair and AJ Styles to START the show. They decided to put the main event right at the beginning. Bold move, TNA, very bold move. So they're fighting, and all of sudden, the lights go out, and STING comes out to help Hogan and Abyss. At least that's what Hogan and Abyss think. Bad move guys. I've watched enough pro wrestling to know that there was something evil lurking in Sting. Sting turned on Hogan and Abyss and repeatedly hit them with his baseball bat.

Sting leaves and pushes a woman into a wall. She must have spilt his coffee.

Just Needed An Excuse To Post This Video Again


Back to Hogan, he and Abyss challenge Flair and Styles again for the end of the show, but this time there would be no disqualifications. Excellent job, TNA, two main events from the same wrestlers. Hulk Hogan ensures my television viewing. I've even watched Brooke Hogan's show when Hulk was on, so there's no way I'll be missing the main event.

All of a sudden, without warning, this man appears:

That's right, Eric, Motherfucking, Bischoff. Why is he around? I don't know, nor do I care, but he makes an X-Division Three-Way Title Match. It was solid, and I think the champ retained his belt. Then Shannon Moore, excuse me, SHANNON MOORE, came out and beat up the champ to set up their match. I had trouble getting as excited as Tazz was for Shannon Moore, especially since he has adopted a punk rock gimmick after being in one of the greatest musical acts of all time.

Party on Forever 3 Count

Then there was a chick match. Yep.

So then the bitch that got knocked down by Sting (who is apparently the new Jack Tunney, as she is president of TNA) decided to make Sting fight a mystery opponent. Old school wrestling taught me one thing, and that is that all mystery opponents will be Savio Vega. Needless to say, I was shocked when I found out that they got star of the hit movie, Wrong Side of Town, RVD. RVD beats Sting in about fifteen seconds with a Five-Star Splash, because he is Mr. Monday Night. Then RVD makes a crucial mistake. He decides to celebrate on the ropes, turning his back on a man that has a baseball bat lying next to him. Sting hits him, not once, not twice, but eleven times (I rewatched the video) with a baseball bat. Also, he hit a couple refs, a security guard, and Hulk Hogan twice. I quickly flipped to RAW for a second to see what was going on, and Dave Batista was in his dressing room watching TV. What was he watching? Probably Sting beating the crap out of everybody with a baseball bat because it was awesome.

Then Scott Hall steals the show as only someone who oozes machismo can. He and Sean Waltman challenge Kevin Nash and Eric Young. Then Eric Bischoff pops up again, and says that if Hall and Waltman win, they get a TNA contract, but if they lose, they're out of TNA forever. Scott Hall responds with, "It's a dealdo." Somehow, he found the coolest way to say deal, and mixed it with the coolest way to say dildo. It was amazing. Nash then says he'll see them at the PPV, and Hall responds with, "I'll be the one that looks like Elvis." If any TNA executives are reading this, MORE SCOTT HALL PLEASE! Not only is he in the best shape of his life, but he's got street cred too.
He May Need To Let More Machismo Ooze

Then Hall and Nash leave, and Waltman and Young have a match, and Waltman loses.

Who's next? Oh, you know, just the US ARMY, bitches. They come out in support of the American Hero, Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Angle. He has a problem with some Mr. Anderson dude, and I didn't really care, until I realized that Mr. Anderson is the fake name for a different Mister, Mr. Kennedy...Kennedy. Fucking sweet. Kennedy gets his ass kicked by Angle, and by America. Bad night for him, great night for the USA, I'm surprised Ricky Stanzi didn't jump in and beat his ass.

Then Jeff Jarrett loses to two guys in a match reffed by Mick Foley, but the big takeaway from this match is the fantastic head of hair that Jeff Jarrett is sporting.

He Definitely Uses Conditioner

Then we finally get to the main event where Flair and Hogan actually took the bulk of the action throughout the match. Both men were busted wide open, and it was awesome. It looked like Flair and Styles may win the match when Abyss started shaking, and then Hogan started shaking, and then I realized, HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST ON THE CROSS JESUS FUCKTARD SHITDEMON, it's a double psychup! Unheard of since the MegaManiacs tagged together. They did their thing, won the match and the crowd went wild. Some punkass bitch tried to attack Hogan and Abyss, but they were eventually saved by Matt Hardy. That would have been a good spot for Macho Man, but unfortunately he's still in hiding.

Overall, this was an AMAZING night of wrestling. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking about ending your life. Usually, I would give this advice:


But luckily, Spike is replaying it on Thursday at 8:00 CST. Don't miss it, because the Monday Night Wars have brought Pro Wrestling back.

-Joe

P.S. DJK must have missed wrestling, because he was busy tweeting this.

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