Thursday, March 12, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Samoa Joe

When it comes to Samoa Joe, the WWE is edging. They almost go full climax with Joe, but then they pull back, and they’re stuck with their pud in their hand as everything peters out. 
He’s been close to world titles but never been able to capture one. He finally won a title, the US Title, but that was from R-Truth, and it wasn’t even in a one-on-one match as it was a Fatal-Fourway involving Andrade and Rey Mysterio Jr. After he won the title, he was 1-2 in singles matches, beating Ali and losing to Kurt Angle and Mysterio. After holding onto the title for two months, Mysterio beat him a second time to win the title. 
As of this writing, Seth Rollins and his gang of cronies are continually beating Joe, Kevin Owens, and the Viking Raiders, and it’s just tough to get excited about Joe’s prospects. 
So how do you get things turned around? I mean, Joe is this insane badass, so you could go all the way with it, have him jump over to Smackdown and choke The Fiend unconscious at the end of an episode and fade to black like Joe just murdered him. Maybe you could do it in support of Roman Reigns at Mania. That way, when Roman Reigns wins the title, you just have Samoa Joe nuke him too so he’s the one standing tall at the end of the night and everybody goes home happy. 
That’s obviously the biggest solution, but Joe can be this scary badass without all of the kiddie shit of being dead or a demon. He’s just a badass, no bells and whistles necessary. That sure as hell sounds like championship material to me.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
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Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Races Suck

I ran a race last week for the first time in like seven years. I remembered that I hated running races, but this was the Skyway 10K where you get to run on a bridge over the Tampa Bay that would be illegal to run on any other time so I thought it would be worth it since I could run some place cool. Plus, it had been seven years, maybe races weren’t as bad as I remembered.

They were not as bad as I remember; they were definitely worse.

First off, this was a race for military families. That’s not a big deal as helping people is always good, but when you put military anything into something, you know you’re going to deal with some bullshit. This was especially true when it came to the sounds of the race. The Star Spangled Banner, although an objectively terrible song, was unsurprisingly played before the race. But then along the course, there was absolutely nothing but country music played. Like, I would have been ecstatic with some Springsteen at that point, and it’s not like most people realize that Born in the USA is against military interventionism; they just sing the chorus and move on.

And yes, I brought headphones, but I’m not trying to blow out an eardrum to drown out crappy music. They should be the ones to change, because their musical tastes are terrible.

They had a staggered start for the race, and I am in the fourth group to begin. So I get to the starting line, packed in with a bunch of runners and walkers and wait for this thing to get going. The cannon blasts (because military stuff), and we’re off. Well, other people may have been off. I was just chillin. Relaxin. Hangin’ out. But then, EXCITEMENT. We start slowly walking. Neat. By the time I get up to the actual start line, we are starting to be at a brisk walk or incredibly slow jog. HOORAY!

I’m already irritated and looking for every gap I can find to get some sort of space to start moving. I dart in and out, in between, and to the outsides so I can actually run. Finally, I get a little bit of space, and I’m off. Here is my internal dialogue once I finally got going.

“I’m going too fast.”
“There is no way I can keep this pace up.”
“I really need to slow down.”
“Oh man, this is not good.”
“Again, you really need to slow down.”

But no matter how many times I told myself to slow down early on, I couldn’t do it. I hate being in crowds so much that I just needed to bust out any way I could. I’m basically like a much, much, much slower Steve Prefontaine in that all I want to do is front run so I don’t have to have the feeling of being trapped. The fun with this race was once I busted out, I just ran into more crowds, because I caught up to previous start times. I never really got any stretch of just open space and enjoyment.

Not shockingly, I was already feeling like shit by the time I hit the bridge. Going down the bridge was okay, but still, there were so many people that I could never fully open up and let go of things. I thought the view would be cool, but I barely remember it, because I was constantly surrounded by people. I don’t think I ran too poorly, but I definitely didn’t run well either. I tried checking my time after the race, but they hadn’t posted anything yet. Honestly, I don’t particularly care since I haven’t actually measured distance or time on my runs in years. I just run to run.

To top it all off, the food spread was an insult. First off, they promised water on the bus back, and mine didn’t have any. Then, when we got back, I was looking forward to a spread of donuts, popsicles, gatorades, and some delicious complimentary food. Instead, there was water, doritos, and plain bagels. Nothing like gnawing on a raw bagel after a hard race. They at least had bananas. Oh, and there was complimentary food provided by...Taco Bell! When I saw that announcement, I thought they were pranking people, but NOPE, turns out that Taco Bell was their idea of the perfect food after a hard run. I thought about having some since my body was craving calories, but I knew that my whole digestive system would make me pay for that later.

On the positives, there was at least a couple free beers in it for me, but considering I had just done a race, and there was no real food to go along with it, I drank half of one and called it a day.

I’m never running another race. Instead, for my next run, I’m going to pick a beautiful stretch along the water, take the dog out, and fully enjoy every second of it while only seeing people for a moment as we pass in opposite directions. When I get back to the car, there will be water for both of us and a couple bananas to give me the nourishment I need before heading back to my house and downing a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

If someone ever makes a race like that, sign me up.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Zelina Vega

Zelina Vega is somebody who has been on television quite a bit but still hasn’t gotten a chance to really shine with wrestling. Here’s a fun fact: Zelina Vega is undefeated on the main roster in singles matches at 2-0. Her last match was in August of 2018 so nearly a year and a half ago, and both of her matches were against Lana, but still. 2-0!

Other than that, it has been a lot of mixed tag and just weird matches with many women involved like battle royals. She’s shown enough aerial moves to at least be intriguing and she has enough experience where she should be plenty good enough in the ring for the main roster.

I do think WWE has the right idea keeping her away from her dominant singles run. So let’s put her in a tag team. Luckily, I have the perfect partner for her, Nia Jax. Big and small is always a great tag combination, and Zelina Vega and Nia Jax are a perfect pair. They can start off by feuding with Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross since that rivalry is already built in between Jax and Bliss and then take off from there. It turns Vega’s diminutive size into an asset instead of a barrier to her success.

If that doesn’t work, just extend that unbeaten singles streak to Goldberg levels, as that is clearly what they have been building on for almost two years.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
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Friday, March 6, 2020

XFAlpha Podcast - Week 4 Review

Either Jonah and I are in a huge fight or we couldn't get our schedules to line up. You decide. But I'm going solo this week with a review of week four and previewing everything you need to know about week five. My notes and download information are below.

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Reach out to us at the following places:
Email: xfalphapod@gmail.com 
Twitter:  @XFAlphaPod


Defenders vs. VIPERS
Jacques Patrick was a guy I had mentioned as somebody to watch out for, and I’m hoping his performance this week gives him a more significant workload over De’Veon Smith, even though both backs had over 100 yards. 
A lot of fun misdirection in the run game that took advantage of an overzealous defensive line. Imagine how dangerous that would be with a mobile quarterback like the recently retired, Quinton Flowers.
Nothing has changed with Cornelius. He’s still not great, not terrible, but not exciting enough to make the Vipers a contender.
Cardale Jones has not lost a home game in a decade. Let’s not forget that.
I think the Vipers defense is playing better, but the offensive line for the Defenders is a serious liability.
On the defensive side, Rahim Moore and Matt Elam are both showing enough to get another look in the NFL, and I have also been impressed with Tracy Sprinkle who has been able to cause some havoc on the defensive line.


Roughnecks vs. RENEGADES
PJ Walker is not messing around, continues to show that he really is the best quarterback in this league.
Cam Phillips was shut down, but Nick Holley had the chance to shine. I would still be buying on Phillips and doubting any Holley buzz at this point.
Parham is a stud, that ain’t changing. 
Landry Jones is messing around as he just loves to complete passes, no matter what jersey they happen to be wearing. 
Unfortunately, it now appears they are down to Philip Nelson, and the Renegades need to find a new quarterback, either trading for Quinton Flowers, Tyree Jackson, or Johnny Manziel. God, even reuniting Hal Mumme with Tim Couch has got to be better than this.


Wildcats vs. GUARDIANS
Traveling across the country is tough, especially without your best offensive weapon in Nelson Spruce. They didn’t play great, but I think if Spruce is healthy, they probably win this game.
Tre McBride stepped up big time again this week, but their running situation is pretty uninspiring right now.
I do think the Guardians are bad, but they played well enough to get this win over a flat Wildcats team. They are 2-2, tied for the fourth seed, and I have absolutely zero faith that they will make the playoffs.
Dragons vs. BATTLEHAWKS
Quarterbacks are so damn important so it was good to see BJ Daniels get a chance with the Dragons as it seemed to give that team some fire.
The Dragons defense had ten tackles for loss in this game.
I still love my boy De’mornay Pierson-El. 
I’ve been a Jordan Ta’amu skeptic where Jonah has been a hater, but it’s time to just let him be. He’s not the best quarterback in the league, but he’s in the top half of starting quarterbacks, and that makes the Battlehawks title contenders.
I also don’t think this game was as close as the score made it seem as the Battlehawks ran 73 offensive plays and the Dragons ran 42. 



WEEK 5 PICKS
ROUGHNECKS over Dragons - Dragons cover 13.5
RENEGADES over Guardians - Renegades cover -8
DEFENDERS over Battlehawks - Upset special as Battlehawks are favored by 3.5
WILDCATS over Vipers - Wildcats cover 1.5


DFS Picks
QB 
  1. PJ Walker - HOU
  2. BJ Daniels - SEA
  3. Eric Dungey - DAL
RB 
  1. Cameron Artis-Payne - DAL
  2. Donnel Pumphrey - DC
  3. Martez Carter - LA+
WR
  1. Tre McBride - LA
    1. Donald Parham - DAL
  2. Mekale McKay - NY
    1. Flynn Nagel - DAL
  3. Nick Truesdell - TAM
    1. Keith Mumphrey - STL
DEF

  1. Dallas
  2. LA
  3. DC
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Thursday, March 5, 2020

Where Iowa Wrestling Could Falter at the B1G Tournament

When you’re the number one team in the nation and overwhelming favorite to win the National Championship, it’s pretty hard to consider yourselves underdogs. Iowa has the depth and top-notch firepower that should let them end their decade-drought of National Titles, but nothing is guaranteed. In fact, even a B1G title isn’t guaranteed as Penn State is right there, always lurking, and with enough high-end talent to terrify even the most confident Hawkeye fans. If everything holds for seeding, Iowa cruises to a B1G Championship, so let’s see where Iowa could be potentially upset at each weight.

125 - Spencer Lee vs. N/A
I’m sorry, but there is nobody who is touching him. He tech falled the number two seed in the first period. Unless he runs a marathon before each match, I doubt anybody is lasting seven minutes with him.

133 - Austin DeSanto vs. Ridge Lovett - Quarterfinals
I don’t think there is an easy match for DeSanto in this thing. The #14 seed, Jordan DeCatur shows flashes of being impressive, and I think he can get a takedown against anybody at this weight. The problem is that after two minutes, he seems to have completely lost any ability to get a takedown or defend one which isn’t an ideal skill-set against the human buzzsaw that is Austin DeSanto. So I guess I should mention Ridge Lovett as well who is very good on top which is DeSanto’s toughest spot. I really don’t think Lovett has the offense to win, but he is going to do everything he can to keep this match low scoring and then try to ride out DeSanto to put pressure on him. I don’t think his defense is good enough to stop the Hawkeye, but he is admittedly not a great matchup. But I still see DeSanto getting a major decision and then going into one of the most exciting matches of the tournament in a rematch against RBY from Penn State in the semis.

141 - Max Murin vs. Mitch McKee - Quarterfinals
I’m like the world’s biggest Mitch McKee fan. I don’t know how it happened, but I have seen that guy look like a million dollars on the mat. Murin got the better of him at the dual, but I think this is a toss-up. The top two guys at this weight seem to be on their on tier, but 3-6 is going to be fascinating to see how things shake out. It wouldn’t be too surprising if these two wrestled each other twice this weekend.

149 - Pat Lugo vs. Brayton Lee - Semifinals
I don’t have a ton of anxiety about this match. Lugo won a close match, but Lee didn’t really come close to scoring on Lugo, and Lugo got an early takedown and controlled the match from there. Lugo is always going to keep things close, but I think he can control this match again.

157 - Kaleb Young vs. Peyton Robb - Quarterfinals
Kaleb Young should be able to handle Peyton Robb, but Robb is dangerous. The guy wrestles tough, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him finish in the top four at this weight class. They wrestled a close match the first time, but I still think Young is going to come back strong after an upset loss against Oklahoma State.

165 - Alex Marinelli vs. Evan Wick - Semifinals
Can Marinelli get out from under Evan Wick? If he can, he wins. If he can’t, it gets much more interesting. I don’t think Wick has what it takes to get a takedown on Marinelli, but if he gets a ride out, it puts a ton of pressure on Marinelli to win multiple times on his feet. Marinelli has really improved, and I think he beats Wick again in this one to move onto the finals for another fireworks show against Vincenzo.

174 - Michael Kemerer vs. Mark Hall - Finals
Is Labriola slightly concerning for a semifinals match? Yeah, slightly, but I have a hard time seeing anybody but these two in the finals. A part of me is hoping Hall wins this one, because I think it would be very tough for Kemerer to win three times in a row against Hall. There’s a possibility that Kem has his number, but their first match had some insane scrambles, so I’m guessing that’s not the case. Either way, it’s must see TV.

184 - Abe Assad vs. Rocky Jordan - Quarterfinals
Assad basically controlled the Rocky Jordan match the first time around, but Jordan has been improving. Assad may also be improving, but we haven’t seen him for about a month, so it’s kind of tough to say. If Assad is healthy, he should be able to move into the semifinals, and considering how wide open 184 is, it’s not inconceivable to see him in contention for a B1G title.

197 - Jacob Warner vs. Shakur Rasheed - Quarterfinals
If Shakur Rasheed hops in a time machine and becomes 2018 Rasheed, I’m concerned. Barring that, I think Warner is cruising into the semifinals, and I would be pretty damn surprised if he didn’t end up in the finals as I see him avenging his loss to Eric Schultz.

Heavyweight - Tony Cassioppi vs. Trent Hillger - Consolation Finals
Sorry, Gas Tank Gary, but I just don’t see a threat to Cassioppi’s spot until he gets to the consolation side of the bracket. I still think Cassioppi could beat Mason Parris, despite getting pinned in their first match, but Gable Steveson is not going to lose in the semis. Cassioppi beat Hillger in a pretty big upset early on in this season, and with Hillger’s top game, I think this is going to be another close match where I hope Cassioppi can find a way to pull it out.


Iowa looks great this year. Almost too great, so I have to have some pessimism to stop me from getting overly excited about this team. But this week should bring home a B1G Championship, and in two weeks, the Hawkeyes finally get the big one.
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Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Getting the Same Breed of Dog Is Psychotic

Dogs are great, aren’t they? They can fill whatever role you need them to. Some can protect, some can support you emotionally, and some can just be party time goofballs. It’s amazing that everyone doesn’t have a dog, especially since there are so many great varieties of dogs out there. Labs are amazing, golden retrievers are fantastic, even corgis are off the chain. There are so many great dogs that you’d have to be an absolute psycho to get the same breed multiple times.

So, yes, I got another weimaraner.

People who own weimaraners are freaks. They have to be, because weimies are freaks. They are absolute trainwrecks that have boundless energy and need your attention at all times and at all costs. Their owners reciprocate this, and in turn, need the dog’s attention at all times, and it leads to emotional co-dependency that is so excessive that it is not healthy for it to exist in this world.

I used to make fun of these weirdos. Then I became one.

When Casey The Dog was around, I rightly claimed that I would not get another weimaraner, because it couldn’t compare, and there are so many great dogs out there that I didn’t need to get a specific breed. Also, it would remind me of Casey instead of being a clean slate with a new pup. These things are undeniable, and yet I still went against these thoughts when it was time for a new dog.

I knew I couldn’t replace Casey, but why wouldn’t I get something as close to her as possible? The short answer is because that’s a psycho maneuver like the guy who dates someone who looks just like his ex. But now that we have a ten-month-old son, a dog breed that we knew was an appealing thing to us as it’s not easy for a dog and baby to coexists. Weims are insane, but they are also gentle, loyal, and snuggly as all hell.

My wife said I could only get a dog in December if that dog was “perfect.” Otherwise, she wanted to wait until after the little guy’s birthday in February. But let’s be clear, this was just a ploy to buy her time as it’s not like she was going to agree to an “imperfect” dog. Luckily for me, I found Kimber on a rescue site based in Tallahassee. When I sent my wife the link, her response was, “Well crap. She’s kinda perfect.” Before she even responded, I reached out to try to get more information. One thing led to another and on Christmas Eve, I drove over 9 hours roundtrip to pick up Kimber and bring her back.

And she has been perfect. She’s a weim, so she’s crazy, but she’s so gentle and loving that she’s a perfect fit for our family. It was a great decision but admittedly, a total psycho move. I know, subconsciously, that I think of her as an extension of Casey. It’s impossible not to, but maybe that’s okay. I mean, I only messed up her name twice, which is way better than I expected to be doing at this point. Kimber is still her own dog, and lucky for us, she’s exactly what we needed.

I guess sometimes it works out to be a psycho.
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Friday, February 28, 2020

XFAlpha Podcast - Media Pass Extravaganza


Here are my notes on attending the Vipers first home game, but you’ll want to listen for the full sordid story. And Jonah gives his experience on going to the Dragons first home game the week before.

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Reach out to us at the following places:
Email: xfalphapod@gmail.com 
Twitter:  @XFAlphaPod


So I get notified Thursday afternoon on my press credential being approved but only for the first game
I email the next day to find out when I could get it since it was supposed to come with a parking pass, but they just said they ran out of parking passes so I was shit out of luck on that one.
No worries, I ain’t paying $20, because there’s a mall that is a mile and a half away so I just parked there and walked my ass to the stadium.
I got there and easily cruised through security where I went up to the press box to get some food. I was very impressed with the food as it was Lemon herb chicken, hanger steak, fingerling potatoes, broccoli raab, and a roll. Plus, all the free Dasani I could get my hands on. I even splurged a little with some lemonade. Right before halftime, I got a cookie and a brownie. Brownie was fantastic.
After I ate, I deemed the press box too boring, so I went to the main concourse to be a man of the people. 
Although it started with poor attendance, things filled in fairly nicely as they filled in most of the front half of the lower bowl with more scarcity in the back half. 

After the first quarter, I decided I should see what things are like in the press box during the game so I went to take the elevator up, but they had shut it off from the concourse. I had to walk all the way down to the ground level. I wasn’t too worried, just didn’t want to miss too much of the game, so I hustled downstairs, asked somebody where to go, and they sent me through this back door that would lead me to the press elevator. When I went through, I could see the field ahead of me. There were probably six security guards between me and the field, but these were clearly low-level employees, so I just made the decision to march forward and go for it. Sure as shit, I made it onto the field and hung out in the end zone about 20 yards away from Shane McMahon and Titus O’Neil. I was right there as the Vipers scored their first offensive touchdown in franchise history. I made it nearly the entire quarter before I was finally spotted and kicked off of the field. I claimed ignorance, and they just told me to go back to the press box. It was fantastic.

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